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lizzy1975

BF is depressed and I'm not sure how to deal....

4 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post  

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Met a really awesome guy and we've been in a relationship for only few months.  But about a month ago something happened in his life that's triggered for him to go into a depression.  He's not prone to depression and the fact that he can't get himself not to feel this way is also adding to his frustration and stress.  He's normally a really happy/positive easy going kinda guy.  But he has all the classic symptoms.  Not eating and sleeping well.  He's being short with people around him.  He's no longer enjoying doing the things he used to love doing and etc.  I have been supportive as I can be with kind words and making sure he understands I am here for him.  We are in touch everyday but he is definitely not engaging with me the way he was prior to that incident. 

It's been three weeks since we last hung out.  I've asked few times and he has told me repeatedly that he's not emotionally able to hang out and spend time with me.  We are seeing each other for the first time tomorrow for coffee.  He said he didn't realize that much time has passed.  I would like to ask that we see each other at least once a week.  Is this going to be a burden on him?  What would be the best way to ask for this?  I've told him that I would always be there for him and that I'm in this 100% but not sure how long I can keep up with this.

He is looking to seeking professional help but I don't think he's done that yet.  He's not in the mood to do anything and he's not wanting to spend time with anyone even.  Male perspective would be much appreciated.

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Posted · Report post  

Hi Lizzy -- Welcome to Df.

I'm sorry to hear about your partner. It's a tough call but all you can do, is to be there for him when he needs you. Support him through his journey and he will be glad when you welcome him back from that side.

Tungsten.

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

Hi Lizzy, 

Im new as well. Learning all I can about bipolar and depression as my boyfriend has bipolar and is in a depressive state.

First I would treat the disease - meaning hopefully he can see a therapist and get on meds. Exercise does wonders too - but sometimes it's hard to get someone who is depressed to get out of the house to do it. 

I would tread lightly on the meet ups- I'm navigating how to "be there" and not cause more stress/pressure during the depressive state. 

I would say you'll come by and bring dinner to his house or watch movies at his house. Sometimes they just need someone there physically to listen, talk or hug/hold. But not under the intent to meet up to discuss the relationship of anything heavy. I'm learning that through what I've read. Someone just being there can do wonders just don't make it about the heavy stuff right now (that will be hard but will hopefully help him).

Good luck & God bless, 

Dixie

Edited by Dixie
Fixed typo

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