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My name is Kylie, I'm 15, and I have been to 6 therapy sessions now. My therapist says I'm an orange without the peel. Everyone has a "peel" around them that separates their feelings from other people's; it keeps them afloat. I don't have a peel. I empathize way to much and it leads me to being very sad and I "sink". I feel guilty, I feel weak, I feel trapped. I want to be there for other people but their issues are too much for me. I'm very close with my parents but I feel like they don't want to accept that I'm not okay. They don't understand the magnitude of my feelings. My therapist has been talking about getting me on medicine but my parents are against it. Especially my father who is convinced they will make me worse or suicidal (which so far I never have been). This is making me very worried/anxious. I struggle with making decisions and this one is especially hard because no one can tell me the right answer: "to medicate or not to medicate". I wanted to join a forum because I want support from others who are like me. My parents and sister are very loving but they can't truly understand. My dad and sister suffer from anxiety disorder but not depression. I feel like while they come close, they can completely grasp it. I would love to hear from some of you guys. Thank you for reading.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi honey, I am so sorry you are suffering right now. I can honestly say that I've been there. I too struggled with "to medicate or not to medicate", and it's a very personal decision. Unfortunately, there isn't a right or wrong answer. I can tell you, from my experience, medication was the answer. I went on and off of nearly every medication available trying to find the right one; and I won't lie to you, it is really hard. We only know so much about the human brain and every single person reacts differently to every medication. Finding the right one can be a challenge and the side effects can be awful. However, when you find something that works, it can change your life. It doesn't remove the depression, or the empathy, it's not a day and night difference, it just makes it so you can function. Mental illness isn't curable, but it is treatable. I want you to know that taking a medication does not make you less than. It does not mean you are broken. It does not mean you are crazy. It means so you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, a sickness, and you are treating it. I hated for years and years that I had to take pills to be okay. I fought myself on it for a very long time. But you know what? It helped. Society puts a stigma on these things and I think even though we know we can't control it, we want to wish it away. Fight for yourself,  for your own well-being. And don't ever stop. What that looks like for you, I'm not sure. Maybe it's anot antidepressant, maybe it's therapy, maybe its immersing yourself into faith or a combination. But whatever it is, don't stop fighting. Only you can fight this fight and I'll be here for you to support you and let you know own you aren't alone.

Show yourself the grace you'd give to some one you love. We too rarely count ourselves as deserving of the same grace that we so readily hand out to those around us.

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