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Worried Sick And Don't Know Why.


Kyle

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I know this place is suppose to be for depresssion even though this doesn't have to do with depression, but I thought I'd ask anyways since some of you have given me advice in the past about my mother. This time I'm the one with the problem.

About a month ago while I was out of town I found out I got accepted into a college I really wanted to go to. I've been really excited that I got accepted into this school. But this past week, for no apparent reason I've become somewhat afraid of going to it now, and its making me nervous. I have no idea why. All the sudden I've become scared about moving and living on my own. I get this idea that I would be perfectly happy if I were to stay at home with my mother the rest of my life. I feel like I don't want to leave home ever now. I have no idea why I'm all the sudden scarred but I am and its making me doubt if I even want to go to this school.

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Guest SarahN

Hi Kyle,

I think what you are experiencing is 'cold feet', it is scary to move out of your home and start a life on your own, it is a big change and I think it is quit normal to get scared, but you will do fine. You got accepted to the college you want to go too, and you will find your way there, meet new people and if all does not work out, I am sure your mom will be there waiting for you with open arms.

But yeah, being scared is okay, you have a few more weeks to get used to the idea.

Let us know how you are doing :bump:

SN :hearts:

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Kyle,

I had a very similar experience. I was the caretaker in my family, just as you are. I also applied to college away form home. It was my whole life's ambition to get away from my family, actually.

Like you, I had a huge anxiety attack when it came time to leave for school. This is normal!

You are about to change nearly every aspect of your life. Change is stressful, even when it is positive change. For everyone!

Have you ever done any cognitive therapy? It may help here. You may want to do what's called an ABC. Here is a link to one: http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/lib...C_Worksheet.pdf

When you work through this sheet, it may help you to see why you became so anxious about being accepted to school. If you need help with this, let me know and I will walk you through it, ok?

KA

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I know one thing I'm afraid of is not making friends. I'm not the type of person that can keep myself happy for very long without some interaction with friends. When I started the community college I just finished, I thought I would make a few friends. That turned out to be the opposite, I never 'clicked' with anyone I met. Yea I'm a little shy, but I still have quit a few friends where I moved from. Me not being able to make friends at the one and a half years I went to the college scares me and makes me think I won't be able to make friends at the new school. Then I also think what if I get so nervous I get sick to my stomach and continually skip class because of it.

I use to have almost this same problem when I was younger. Between 5th and 8th grades I use to get super nervous the first day of school and I would be sick to my stomach for about a week. Then for some reason when I started 9th grade I was able to keep myself calm, and stayed like that through the rest of high school. Don't really know how I did it, I just wasn't nervous anymore. When I started the community college, I told myself that if I feel sick in anyway I can just up and leave, and the teachers don't really care. But with this new school, I can't exactly up and leave class. The school is more expensive than I like to admit, so I need to go to class as often as possible.

Edited by Kyle
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I know one thing I'm afraid of is not making friends. I'm not the type of person that can keep myself happy for very long without some interaction with friends. When I started the community college I just finished, I thought I would make a few friends. That turned out to be the opposite, I never 'clicked' with anyone I met. Yea I'm a little shy, but I still have quit a few friends where I moved from. Me not being able to make friends at the one and a half years I went to the college scares me and makes me think I won't be able to make friends at the new school. Then I also think what if I get so nervous I get sick to my stomach and continually skip class because of it.

I use to have almost this same problem when I was younger. Between 5th and 8th grades I use to get super nervous the first day of school and I would be sick to my stomach for about a week. Then for some reason when I started 9th grade I was able to keep myself calm, and stayed like that through the rest of high school. Don't really know how I did it, I just wasn't nervous anymore. When I started the community college, I told myself that if I feel sick in anyway I can just up and leave, and the teachers don't really care. But with this new school, I can't exactly up and leave class. The school is more expensive than I like to admit, so I need to go to class as often as possible.

Trust me mate, you described my school years in vivid detail :hearts:

I was a ball of anxiety, every little change really brings up emotions in me similar to what you describe. It does a lot less now, because i understand it better. Something i can suggest is immerse yourself in different kinds of movies, music and literature and try to understand how change affects different characters within.

I've still got much to face with in my life, but i know i can handle it. You'll be fine once you settle in.

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Moving away from the security of home is scary. You are leaving a secure sanctuary that you've known for years-even if your home situation is not ideal or conducive to your mental growth. You may feel like you're bound to home because your help is needed there. Going away to college gives you an opportunity to sample what it's like to be on your own. It's a part of life and growing into adulthood. You will feel an independence you never had while living at home. Breaking away is the hard part, but after the school breaks for summer, you can go home. It will be different returning home because you will now have a new attitude and experiences. As for making friends, join a study group or one of many groups offered on campus. You will meet people with similar interests. The people you may meet can become long term friends lasting after college. I found when I was in college that most of the people I befriended were transient and I never saw them after college. You will get through your anxiety about leaving. Don't worry about getting sick to your stomach. The excitement of a new place will overcome that. You are going to the college of your choice. Make the best of it and get your education at the same time. It will be an experience you will never regret.

Sheepwoman :hearts:

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Oy can I relate to this.....

I am 30 years old and recently enrolled to go back to college to get my BA degree in ASL (american sign language) interpretation. I enrolled in a school that is mostly 18 year olds fresh out of high school. TALK ABOUT ANXIETY!!! I'm looking forward to going... but at the same time I'm so nervous I'll be deemed "the old lady" in class. But I am hoping that maybe the "youngsters" will learn as much from me that I know I will learn from them.

Growing up my mom used to always tell me "quit being such a worry wart." I worry about EVERYTHING.... from the bills to my children getting hurt by going outside to play.

As far as the friend making things goes... You seem like a very good communicator and if you were to get past your shyness and anxiety I'm sure you would make some great friends! I wish you luck and happiness! and I will keep you in my thoughts as you venture to your goals.

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