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GAJ123

How is it even possible to not be bitter or insecure in my position?

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Just now, GAJ123 said:

And it's because their standards are just ridiculous for a lot of them. People always say there's good attractive women out there, yet all of them want these Chad looking guys that are tall & great jobs & all this other ridiculous nonsense. It's very very difficult to not be angry at that stuff. 

And your standards aren't ridiculous? Now what if you met the perfect woman tomorrow but she's 50 lbs overweight? Would you give her a chance? What if she's super bitter about not getting as much attention as her skinny friends, would that turn you off even more?

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1 minute ago, Ba3inga said:

But your standards are ridiculous.

How is just wanting a woman that I'm personally attracted to, has a nice personality & have common interests with ridiculous? I don't care about if she looks like a model just someone I'm attracted to. 

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Just now, GAJ123 said:

How is just wanting a woman that I'm personally attracted to, has a nice personality & have common interests with ridiculous? I don't care about if she looks like a model just someone I'm attracted to. 

How is being personally attracted to tall men with a nice personality (they tend to be the more successful ones) ridiculous?

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1 minute ago, lonelyforeigner said:

And your standards aren't ridiculous? Now what if you met the perfect woman tomorrow but she's 50 lbs overweight? Would you give her a chance? What if she's super bitter about not getting as much attention as her skinny friends, would that turn you off even more?

My standards aren't anywhere as ridiculous as a lot of others. A lot of women want guys that are tall, great jobs, outgoing personality, huge social circle, great hair & all this other nonsense. They care about a guy's social status & all this other stuff. And I'm not sure honestly, It would probably depend on what her face looks like & her personality.

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3 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

How is being personally attracted to tall men with a nice personality (they tend to be the more successful ones) ridiculous?

Because it eliminates a lot of guys automatically over nonsense. A lot of women would rather go out with some abusive tall guy than a nice short guy. Or a guy covered in an insane amount of trashy tattoos because he's tall & has the bad boy vibe over the nice guy but they find him too boring or whatever.

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1 minute ago, GAJ123 said:

A lot of women want guys that are tall, great jobs, outgoing personality, huge social circle, great hair & all this other nonsense. They care about a guy's social status & all this other stuff. 

That's a wishlist... 99% of women are flexible and know they can't get it all, they'll settle for a guy who only offers some of those things. 

If women were as picky as you seem to think then like none of us would have been born. Besides, it's not like men are any different, we too have those long lists of requirements and most end up dating/marrying a woman that doesn't check off all the boxes.

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Just now, lonelyforeigner said:

That's a wishlist... 99% of women are flexible and know they can't get it all, they'll settle for a guy who only offers some of those things. 

If women were as picky as you seem to think then like none of us would have been born. Besides, it's not like men are any different, we too have those long lists of requirements and most end up dating/marrying a woman that doesn't check off all the boxes.

True, but an attractive woman is usually going to find what she wants more so than a guy due to all the options they have. And I'm pretty sure I read the other day less women are getting pregnant these days. I'm assuming part of it has to do with the fact that many men are forced to be single because they can't find anyone to be with.

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Utter nonsense, when we land a bad boy it's usually because they are pretending to be someone they aren't, women aren't stupid, that is so insulting.

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7 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

Because it eliminates a lot of guys automatically over nonsense. A lot of women would rather go out with some abusive tall guy than a nice short guy. Or a guy covered in an insane amount of trashy tattoos because he's tall & has the bad boy vibe over the nice guy but they find him too boring or whatever.

Yes, some would, and you know why? Because the "nice guy" isn't really nice. Mr. nice guy tends to be bitter, angry, passive aggressive, jealous, insecure, feeling he's owed something... He's nice as long as he gets what he wants, it's manipulative behavior, not kindness. At the end of the day nice guys are equally abusive but they don't offer the physical excitement that a"bad guy" offers. Why would a woman go for that?

Doesn't really matter though because the vast majority of women will neither date a "bad guy" nor a "nice guy", they'll go for a normal, well-adjusted down-to-earth guy. 

Edited by lonelyforeigner

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8 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Yes, some would, and you know why? Because the "nice guy" isn't really nice. Mr. nice guy tends to be bitter, angry, passive aggressive, jealous, insecure, feeling he's owed something... He's nice as long as he gets what he wants, it's manipulative behavior, not kindness. At the end of the day nice guys are equally abusive but they don't offer the physical excitement that a"bad guy" offers. Why would a woman go for that?

Doesn't really matter though because the vast majority of women will neither date a "bad guy" nor a "nice guy", they'll go for a normal, well-adjusted down-to-earth guy. 

lol this is just ridiculous. So you can't be nice either these days. It's just madness man. I don't even know what to say anymore. 

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11 minutes ago, Ba3inga said:

Utter nonsense, when we land a bad boy it's usually because they are pretending to be someone they aren't, women aren't stupid, that is so insulting.

There's a pattern though that women tend to go for bad boys a lot. I see so many women these days with guys covered in tattoos that I just don't understand it. 

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4 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

lol this is just ridiculous. So you can't be nice either these days. It's just madness man. I don't even know what to say anymore. 

You can be nice (kind), but that should be part of your personality, not a manipulative strategy to get what you want. Right now you're angry and bitter, that's the opposite of nice, women will pick up on that no matter how "nice" you act. Be kind to women regardless of whether or not they're your type, be kind without having any expectations in return. 

Addendum: many women will observe how you treat others. How you treat the unattractive cleaning lady, the homeless guy, etc. If you're truly nice you'll treat everybody with the same kindness. If you're just fake nice you'll expose yourself by treating some people as beneath you. 

Edited by lonelyforeigner

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1 minute ago, GAJ123 said:

There's a pattern though that women tend to go for bad boys a lot. I see so many women these days with guys covered in tattoos that I just don't understand it. 

Tattoos are pretty common these days, doesn't mean that they are bad guys. So get a tattoo if you think that's what women want ;-)

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3 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

There's a pattern though that women tend to go for bad boys a lot. I see so many women these days with guys covered in tattoos that I just don't understand it. 

Yeah of course, what would l know l'm just a WOMAN. Tattoos have nothing to do with bad guys. I used to go to a biker rock pub every week, loads of tattoos nicest guys l ever met. Some of the worst men l've met have had none. You're making incorrect assumptions.

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9 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

You can be nice (kind), but that should be part of your personality, not a manipulative strategy to get what you want. Right now you're angry and bitter, that's the opposite of nice, women will pick up on that no matter how "nice" you act. Be kind to women regardless of whether or not they're your type, be kind without having any expectations in return. 

Addendum: many women will observe how you treat others. How you treat the unattractive cleaning lady, the homeless guy, etc. If you're truly nice you'll treat everybody with the same kindness. If you're just fake nice you'll expose yourself by treating some people as beneath you. 

I don't act angry & bitter when i'm out somewhere. There's people at my job that say I'm too nice. I get along with everyone at my job & always have friendly conversations. Act friendly with customers & whomever else. Never anything negative. I come online to just pour out my frustration over my situation but I don't talk to anyone about this stuff outside of a friend of mine at times. I just don't want to live my entire life with not being with anyone. I just feel I'm going to get more upset as every year goes by.

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Just now, GAJ123 said:

I don't act angry & bitter when i'm out somewhere.

Trust me, people pick up on it even if you think they don't. Few people would tell you this though since they don't want to hurt your feelings. Too nice usually means pushover, not exactly a positive quality. 

Like @Ba3inga already pointed out, women aren't stupid. They tend to have a much more evolved intuition than us guys and they will pick up on small cues like body language that negate whatever it is you're saying. A month or so ago you complained about how all the women you talked to online kept asking you about past relationships and your sex life, trust me, they don't do that with everybody. They picked up on your vibes and realized that something wasn't quite right. 

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5 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

I don't act angry & bitter when i'm out somewhere. There's people at my job that say I'm too nice. I get along with everyone at my job & always have friendly conversations. Act friendly with customers & whomever else. Never anything negative. I come online to just pour out my frustration over my situation but I don't talk to anyone about this stuff outside of a friend of mine at times. I just don't want to live my entire life with not being with anyone. I just feel I'm going to get more upset as every year goes by.

You said ACT. Women want someone who is nice. I just recently had some player ACT nice. He was oh so understanding about what l'd been through, the second l was having doubts when he started talking sexual stuff, he stopped hardly contacting me, then l get told about these women he is dating. I wanted NICE not ACT nice.

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3 minutes ago, Ba3inga said:

You said ACT. Women want someone who is nice. I just recently had some player ACT nice. He was oh so understanding about what l'd been through, the second l was having doubts when he started talking sexual stuff, he stopped hardly contacting me, then l get told about these women he is dating. I wanted NICE not ACT nice.

Hah! That's exactly what I meant. I didn't even catch that... See how little things like a small word can reveal your true feelings?

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3 minutes ago, Ba3inga said:

You said ACT. Women want someone who is nice. I just recently had some player ACT nice. He was oh so understanding about what l'd been through, the second l was having doubts when he started talking sexual stuff, he stopped hardly contacting me, then l get told about these women he is dating. I wanted NICE not ACT nice.

 

6 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Trust me, people pick up on it even if you think they don't. Few people would tell you this though since they don't want to hurt your feelings. Too nice usually means pushover, not exactly a positive quality. 

Like @Ba3inga already pointed out, women aren't stupid. They tend to have a much more evolved intuition than us guys and they will pick up on small cues like body language that negate whatever it is you're saying. A month or so ago you complained about how all the women you talked to online kept asking you about past relationships and your sex life, trust me, they don't do that with everybody. They picked up on your vibes and realized that something wasn't quite right. 

No, you don't get it. I've had a customer the other day saying I'm glad I got on your line since you're always the nicest person here. And a co-worker of mine always says I'm too nice. Not in a bad way but in a good way in how I treat people. Some girl co-worker said she thinks I'm really funny & she even told me she had a dream about me the other day that I died in it lol. She said she was devastated by it thinking it was real. 

And some women just flat ask about previous relationships almost right away online. I'd say you're right in some cases that some probably had vibes about it but others just tend to ask in regular conversation about previous relationships. Than when I told them the truth & said never been in one that's when they ask all these other questions about sex & other stuff.

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3 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

No, you don't get it. I've had a customer the other day saying I'm glad I got on your line since you're always the nicest person here. And a co-worker of mine always says I'm too nice. Not in a bad way but in a good way in how I treat people. Some girl co-worker said she thinks I'm really funny & she even told me she had a dream about me the other day that I died in it lol. She said she was devastated by it thinking it was real. 

But you weren't attracted to the customer or that girl at work, correct? If so then you're not angry at them. My suspicion is that your bitterness will show if it's an attractive girl you're interacting with, no?

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2 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

But you weren't attracted to the customer or that girl at work, correct? If so then you're not angry at them. My suspicion is that your bitterness will show if it's an attractive girl you're interacting with, no?

The girl at work I'm kind of mixed on. It's weird where sometimes I feel like I'm attracted to her other times I'm not that much. She has a nice fit body though since she works out & has a nice personality. And the customer was old & I wasn't attracted to her. 

You're a bit right in terms of sometimes I'm annoyed when I have to help out an attractive woman, usually only if she's there with another guy. I don't show it though since I still am nice to them even though I'm p***** inside about it. I just get annoyed though sometimes how it's like they talk to me because they need to get something out of me by helping them out at my job. But if it was in a dating sense they likely would rather I not even exist.

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3 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

I just get annoyed though sometimes how it's like they talk to me because they need to get something out of me by helping them out at my job. But if it was in a dating sense they likely would rather I not even exist.

You're reading too much into people. Reverse the situation, you're a customer and there's a cashier who happens to be physically attracted to you but she's not your type, would you expect her to be pi$$ed off and consider it a reasonable response? 

I really think that it's this bitter and angry attitude you need to resolve first, most likely it'll take a therapist to help you through this. Not harboring this resentment would make you more attractive (granted, there will still be plenty of women who won't be interested) and well-adjusted. If you really want to have a relationship you need to get a healthy mindset first. Everything else is secondary and can be addressed when it comes to it. 

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11 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

You're reading too much into people. Reverse the situation, you're a customer and there's a cashier who happens to be physically attracted to you but she's not your type, would you expect her to be pi$$ed off and consider it a reasonable response? 

I really think that it's this bitter and angry attitude you need to resolve first, most likely it'll take a therapist to help you through this. Not harboring this resentment would make you more attractive (granted, there will still be plenty of women who won't be interested) and well-adjusted. If you really want to have a relationship you need to get a healthy mindset first. Everything else is secondary and can be addressed when it comes to it. 

What do you mean I'm reading too much into people? Some of the type of women I help out at my job never give me the time of day through online dating ever. I get some attractive matches here & there online but usually these women never respond back or are just on there for ego boosting or something where a conversation never even happens. Outside of me helping them at my job, they basically as I said pretend I don't exist. 

I think if my health issues resolved I'd be able to go on meds again to fix my depression issues & my anger at times. I can't take meds with this issue I have. My body doesn't compete well with meds due to the burning issues in my body I get. I'm in a position where it's like I need to fix health related stuff yet I don't know if it'll ever happen. It's leaving me worried about my future.

Edited by GAJ123

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