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Butterflyinprogress

help needed please

5 posts in this topic

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I'm so scared I'll never be the same again..I lost my confidence,my personality my outlook in life. Keeps getting worst every day...it's been over 9 month now. .and so scared it wont get better. I don't enjoy anything. I've so much anger at myself I could have prevented all this but I didn't. I've failed in life...I can't get over it. My fam and friends say it's all in your head..I feel like I'm in a nightmare from the time I get up till I go to sleep. I barely do anything except cry and complain i wasn't like this..surf the net for hope of finding something that helps..I checked every med. Freaking out of seeing a doc cause the will just prescribe anything and if you're lucky it works then you are good. I don't have much support here about seeing a doc. Every one is like just pray and you'll snap out of it..the pills aren't real and won't help you.  I don't know what to do or what to expect. My head fills empty I don't how to explain. I just lay all day I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything. I have guilt feeling if I do anything I say to myself I should have done that before I got to this point. My past kills me everyday I should be doing better  look what others are doing on moving on and I  couldn't I'm stuck..I feel a numb in my throat everyone around me is sick and tired of hearing the same . I can't make a decision or anything. I feel like I'm late and the me I know is gone. When I explain nothing is making sense what if the doc sees  me as crazy.hell I feel crazy  paranoid at the time. I don't hear music or watch movies like I use to.  I feel my negativity every day  I keep attracting that. I swear all I do is wake up..wash my face..and start  doing bubbly and on the net also complaing every bad thing happening home or anyone is my fault .. I'm stuck in a trap. I hate it never have I ever thought I'll be like this...I was so happy when I stopped taking cipralex and seroquel last year. ..around December i started freaking out omg this is not me crying daily and complaing daily till this day. What If I take meds and it gets worst I wouldn't be able to say the side effects as I feel the syptoms everyday...I convinced myself and convincing my fam i wont get better its too late. The last doc I saw was bad really bad kept diagnosing me meds after each app i would tell him i dont feel better he keeps adding the dose when it got to a high dose no change he simply replied nothing I can do about it. .force yourself to do things? ?? I was stronger then i weaned off the meds ..and i was happy i did. But now i know i need something to help me. If anyone relates and can advice means a lot. What is the strongest ad that can help. I just want to wake up one day with calmness  and feel like myself again and have good night sleeps. I barely feel like i slept i have vivd dreams of people I've known i feel stuck to the past its just confusing. .sorry for the long vent

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Posted · Report post  

as far as "just pray" that is unfair of anyone. if prayer fixed everything we would not have doctors or surgery or medicine.

i don't know how many different psych meds you have tried but when i started this journey over 20 years ago a psychiatrist told me that often 18 or more different medications can be tried on a person. everyone reacts differently and so you have to have patience and keep with them until the one that works for you is found. i am sorry that it hurts so much i do understand.

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Posted · Report post  

I'm  so sorry for all the chaos you are feeling.  I wish there was a magical fix, but instead I would talk to your Dr. about what he or she recommends based on your medical history and the condition you are in.

I previously suffered from high anxiety, and was prescribed Cymbalta.  It worked very well for me for 10 years.  Now I take Zoloft which also works well for anxiety and depression. One thing to keep in mind though is that it took about 4 weeks before these meds really worked for me.  I experienced some start-up side effects in the first few weeks, so you have to be patient as well.

I do hope you find some relief.

Sincerely,

Maddielouise 

 

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I feel this way a lot. I have had many traumatic experiences in the last 7-8 years. I think this has caused the feelings of not being myself anymore. I'm often dissociated and have depersonalization, feeling like my life is a dream. I'm starting EMDR therapy soon and I hope it helps. Cymbalta was added to my Lamictal and Gabapentin about two weeks ago. It makes me a little agitated and extremely sleepy. I hope it helps, but I know therapy is needed too. I just want to heal and feel like me again. I hope you feel better soon!!

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