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fearispower

Depressed, but terrified to die

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I don't have nearly as many suicidal thoughts as I used to. However, since my cat died recently, I've had a lot of existential depression and fear of death. It actually makes suicidal thoughts worse, because you don't won't to die, but you don't want to live either.

I was raised a loose Protestant. My family stopped going to church a long time ago, but my mom still believes in God. I decided on Agnosticism, because I've never had any real internal feeling that there was a God, but couldn't discount the feelings of people who did. Now, as I contemplate death, I start to feel scared about the possible lack of an afterlife.

It's impossible to imagine your consciousness ceasing to exist. Go ahead, try it. I can't picture not existing, because my conscious mind can't think of just fading. All I can think of is just transferring to a different state. What scares me is the idea of just moving to a black void, not aware of anything anymore, but just sitting in that void forever. I'll never get to see my dead pets, friends, or family members again. What if that's what happens?

What's even worse is the memories. I've started to realize just how cruel memory is, because it just reminds me of the wonderful things I'll never get to experience again. What if you're left alone for eternity, with nothing but cruel reminders of everything you've lost?

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Sadly I can't help you, but I can tell you I am going through the exact same feelings and understand exactly. The fear of death, unknowing, the fear of not existing, of not being able to taste food, feel sunshine, or communicate with anyone anymore. I've always thought suicide is just an escape. No one wants to actually die, we want to escape,but in some cases death is the only escape. It also makes loss even more depressing because it's a feeling that they are really gone-forever. 

To conquer this, or possibly a symptom of the curiosity of it, I've been obsessed with Near death experiences (DNE) and the paranormal. It's silly, but in these cases people claim to have proof that I've yet to see religions show. Also, if this is a worldwide phenomenon, then maybe there's something to it? I'd rather be a ghost than just disappear completely. Not being conscious ever again is terrifying. It's different than sleeping. Sleeping is lovely because you dream and wake up later feeling rested. But dead is different..

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Hi there

Your post stood out to me because I contemplate death all the time. In fact, sometimes I wake up in the night in a panic because I worry about there being no afterlife. It's a real struggle to fall back to sleep, perhaps because sleep is very much like death? 

I too have lost pets recently and understand how difficult this can be. I love animals more than people so when they pass it hurts just as much as losing a family member. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It's ok to be sad. 

Perhaps delving into your spirituality might ease the worrisome thoughts? It helps me sometimes. I even go as far as to Google people's accounts of near death experiences etc. I truly believe in life after death. There is something bigger than us out there.

But, having studied Greek Mythology recently at uni, it has given me a new perspective. One I don't necessarily believe to be true, but strangely it's helped. I remember reading something from ancient times along the lines of 'there is nothing to fear in death, for it is like going to sleep, you lose consciousness and become unaware, death is like going to sleep, but you just don't wake up in the morning'.

I'm not sure I have helped haha but I just wanted you to know you're not alone with your thinking. Death is scary. But perhaps it doesn't have to be. 

 

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The "Good News" is that Jesus died for us and rose from the dead that we might live. Faith is a gift from God but the more we use it and pray the stronger it becomes. Pray ,pray ,pray. Even when you don't feel anything because God is still working in you. Don't give up and just keep trusting in Him. You will find one day, you will be changed and feel God's presence. I know because it happened to me. You are in my prayers.

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Guest dontevenknow

Trying to imagine death with no afterlife is like trying to imagine life before you were born. You can't, so try not to think about it too much.

If you don't feel there is a God, maybe trying reading the Bible. It is Gods word after all and can answer your questions. What do you have to lose?

"...and to him who knocks, the door will be opened..."

I'll be praying for you. That you find the answers you seek and find peace in knowing that there is a God and loves you. :)

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On 6/12/2017 at 5:15 PM, fearispower said:
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I don't have nearly as many suicidal thoughts as I used to. However, since my cat died recently, I've had a lot of existential depression and fear of death. It actually makes suicidal thoughts worse, because you don't won't to die, but you don't want to live either.

I was raised a loose Protestant. My family stopped going to church a long time ago, but my mom still believes in God. I decided on Agnosticism, because I've never had any real internal feeling that there was a God, but couldn't discount the feelings of people who did. Now, as I contemplate death, I start to feel scared about the possible lack of an afterlife.

It's impossible to imagine your consciousness ceasing to exist. Go ahead, try it. I can't picture not existing, because my conscious mind can't think of just fading. All I can think of is just transferring to a different state. What scares me is the idea of just moving to a black void, not aware of anything anymore, but just sitting in that void forever. I'll never get to see my dead pets, friends, or family members again. What if that's what happens?

What's even worse is the memories. I've started to realize just how cruel memory is, because it just reminds me of the wonderful things I'll never get to experience again. What if you're left alone for eternity, with nothing but cruel reminders of everything you've lost?

Im an atheist and don't fear death I figure its just like the universe recycling its self all you lose is your memory but your body and conscious will always be part of life it will just be recycled into another life form literally, as you are composed of the universe and are part of it like a cog in a elegant machine you may break down and rust but you will end up back into the elegant machine of the universe serving your role and purpose. The self is a illusion so it can't be destroyed if your not religious I would look up Taoism, eastern philosophy and mediation maybe that would help put your mind at rest. The fear of not existing is not rational because you are part of everything around you and everything is part of you, all that can be lost are your memories.

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On 6/12/2017 at 2:15 PM, fearispower said:
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I don't have nearly as many suicidal thoughts as I used to. However, since my cat died recently, I've had a lot of existential depression and fear of death. It actually makes suicidal thoughts worse, because you don't won't to die, but you don't want to live either.

I was raised a loose Protestant. My family stopped going to church a long time ago, but my mom still believes in God. I decided on Agnosticism, because I've never had any real internal feeling that there was a God, but couldn't discount the feelings of people who did. Now, as I contemplate death, I start to feel scared about the possible lack of an afterlife.

It's impossible to imagine your consciousness ceasing to exist. Go ahead, try it. I can't picture not existing, because my conscious mind can't think of just fading. All I can think of is just transferring to a different state. What scares me is the idea of just moving to a black void, not aware of anything anymore, but just sitting in that void forever. I'll never get to see my dead pets, friends, or family members again. What if that's what happens?

What's even worse is the memories. I've started to realize just how cruel memory is, because it just reminds me of the wonderful things I'll never get to experience again. What if you're left alone for eternity, with nothing but cruel reminders of everything you've lost?

Whether we fear death or not it will still come for us someday, nothing we can do to avoid it so why even worry about it. If there is a heaven and you meet the criteria then when you die you'll go there if there is no heaven but only nothing without a consciousness it still won't make a difference. The only thing we must worry about if there is a heaven is meeting the criteria; some say that just the fact that we are human we meet the criteria. I read a study that as you get to a certain age the constant thought or fear of dying diminishes or totally goes away because you start to accept the inevitable of dying. Hope this helps. Myself I don't fear death one iota, can't avoid and it's a waste of time thinking or worrying about it. What I don't want or look forward to, if I make it is what old ages brings, mainly having to depend on others. 

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