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Can't even enjoy my vacation


Sir Robin

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I have been waiting for this week for months... I have all this week off from my very trying and stressful job. Ever since my PTO request was approved I've been looking forward to this week. And now that it's here I feel almost as much pressure I do any other week, maybe even more. 

First of all I had tentative plans that fell through, I'm not going to get into that here, though I may have to talk about it on this site eventually. Then I was thinking of just getting away; maybe going to Chicago to see some sights and/or visiting my brother and his family. My job drives me so bonkers however that trying to figure out some plans were too anxiety-provoking so I decided to hold off on making any decisions. Well then a couple weeks ago I started having problems with my back and my hip, so much that I had to make an appointment with my chiropractor for yesterday when I wasn't supposed to see him for a couple more weeks. With my back hurting so much doing all that driving seems like way too much.

The thing is I've been holding off on trying to make any decisions about my future because I'm so stressed out all the time when I'm here, so I thought getting away would help alleviate that stress, but now I can't get away. I need to see my chiropractor again on Friday and tomorrow my car needs to have some recall work done that I should really get finished before I take it on any trips anyway. So now I'm afraid that if I just do a "stay-cation" I'm not going to be able to clear my head like I wanted to and figure out a new direction in life. I tried getting an hour-long massage yesterday at a spa to see if that would help but it really didn't. I felt so weird having this stranger rubbing her hands all over my body that I couldn't relax there either. I'll admit though I did sleep better last night than I have for a while.

I'm just so frazzled that I can't even enjoy the "free time" I do have and I don't know how to get off this rollercoaster. Any help would be appreciated.

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Maybe get yourself a nice room in a hotel, order in room service, and veg out on any television your heart desires. Maybe even take a swim if they have a pool open.

 

I don't necessarily know whether or not outside influences like that will help, but it sounds like something you deserve to enjoy.

 

As for "clearing your head", maybe start with writing things down. You can categorize things to start. "Work/Money/Home/Yard/Health/Nutrition" whatever it is you feel you need to overhaul within your life. Writing it down might help you feel like you're getting those floating worries out of your head. Once they're on paper you don't have to constantly make sure that it's subconsciously sitting in your brain. Once you have your categories you can get more in depth, what your desires are in each, and from there you can branch off on possible ideas to help you obtain.

 

I hope this makes sense and something works out for you.

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