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GrayFlowers

Depressed, anhedonia, isolation

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Hi. I've been struggling off and on with depression for a few years.  My dad is an alcoholic and has caused me decades of grief.  After his near death and detox last year, he started drinking a mere 2 months later.  I had a crazy, screaming meltdown over it.  Then I decided to get off the emotional roller coaster and wash my hands of him.  I thought it would make things better.  But I'm still connected through my mom, so that drama never really goes away.

I quit a decent paying job in January because it was becoming unbearable to get up every morning and go through the motions of being there.  I gave them this BS story that I wanted to try a new career direction.  I holed up at home and tried a work-from-home type job.  I told people how great it was.  That was a lie.  I was struggling financially, and the isolation put me even further into a depression. I'm now super focused on my neighbors and the noise they make.  I'm like Mrs. Kravitz now. 

The only good thing in my life is my cat and dog.  They're the reason I'm still hanging on. I had 2 cats, but one died last month.  That sent me deeper down the dark hole. 

So that's the story of my descent.  I found this site in a Google search and thought I would join. 

Oh yeah, I start a new job next week that I'm not at all excited about, but it's a job, right?  Maybe getting out of the house will help.  I want to try an antidepressant as soon as my insurance kicks in.

Hope I didn't ramble.  It's really late.  Thanks for reading.

Edited by GrayFlowers
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Hi GrayFlowers,

I hope you're feeling better. I constantly made the mistake in the past of getting jobs in which I couldn't handle the stress. I think I just wanted so badly to believe I was well enough and normal enough of a person to do it like everyone else but the stress would eventually make my depression worse. This summer I made sure to get a job which I know I can handle the stress. I don't have to dread going to work or prepare for battle. I guess my advice would be to know your limits and take on a job you can handle and also enjoy.

If you feel an antidepressant is the best route for you so be it but do your best to balance yourself without them if you can. Things like meditation, better diet, getting certain supplements like magnesium, Vit D, CBD oil, apple cider vinegar etc can really make a big difference and have allowed people to stop their meds.

I've done a ton of research regarding alternate ways to cure depression so if you're interested in things other than meds feel free to message me and I'll be happy to share them with you. Or if you just want to vent or chat ever I'll be here if you want to hit me up :)

 

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Thanks to all for the welcome.  The new job has helped. 

DurandalBlue, I actually have rethought the antidepressant since writing this.  I will msg you about the natural remedies.

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