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I  have no one close in my life I can truly count on to love me. I mean that kind of deep, unselfish true kind of love your mom gives you. so I eat. I smile. I ****. I escape.

 I'm consumed by my moms schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I'm what I call an only child with four younger siblings (think a 3 times divorced mom who only ever took custody of me). I'm in sick relationships over and over again. My bf is mentally ill / depressed af too, but loving and amazing by all standards except boundaries. He has too many problems to be there for me. My careers lackluster. And I'm in between sad, angry, and unwell.

What do I do? Therapists don't work for me. 

love addictions not cute when combined with self hatred and food addiction.

?????

#SeekingDopamine

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5 hours ago, VictoriaEuphoria said:
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I  have no one close in my life I can truly count on to love me. I mean that kind of deep, unselfish true kind of love your mom gives you. so I eat. I smile. I ****. I escape.

 I'm consumed by my moms schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I'm what I call an only child with four younger siblings (think a 3 times divorced mom who only ever took custody of me). I'm in sick relationships over and over again. My bf is mentally ill / depressed af too, but loving and amazing by all standards except boundaries. He has too many problems to be there for me. My careers lackluster. And I'm in between sad, angry, and unwell.

What do I do? Therapists don't work for me. 

love addictions not cute when combined with self hatred and food addiction.

?????

#SeekingDopamine

Well, I start off by commending you on your honesty. To be able to see your situation shows me you're intelligent and willing to get well.  I've received some help from therapists, but for all the time I've spent there, the outcomes were not too impressive. Personally, I find support groups much more impactful. Very few of us can heal on our own. We need each other. Your ability to be honest will help save you. That's where the light comes in. Unfortunately, I have experienced mental health problems my whole adult life. It's not like I'm always miserable, but there have been some very tough years. I like facilitated support groups or 12 step meetings. I've also found that working with a life coach to be profoundly helpful. You get a lot of bang for your buck, if you're willing to put in the work. Best of luck to you. Glad you have a lover even if he's struggling. Eventually, I had to give up my depressed man. I kept working on my issues and getting better.

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  • 3 months later...

Following the philosophy of Taoism has been one source of Gradual strength for me.

In Taoist meditation as well - Where breathing goes to the heart, and then as the heart warms - sending this energy into the 'Dan Tien' / The tummy where our "hidden" emotions sit.

This isn't a one-stop solution of course. But is a source of strength.

You can read my blog about my recent / latest experience which I just posted to.

So Much Love to You my fellow human.

P.S. Thank you 'long journey' for your kind words that made me smile, in your comment. This user's comments at my blog have been a reminder to me, that showing gratitude for what someone has done/posted can cheer their day up - if even just a little.

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