I feel like im destined to be alone

[SailingSoul]

The guy I was supposed to hang with flaked on the last minute, I don't have friends( when I tried to make friends..something would always happen..they move or I would move...so I couldn't keep them) 

And I've been planning since 2016 to get my damned license bc my parents just won't help me, I planned again for the 4th of May... 

 

I'm just tired of being stuck, being alone,,,i feel like ill lead this lonely life forever and it makes me wonder if God wants to see me this alone ..

 

I was watching a youtubers that has kids from previous marriages, and she found a guy that was able to take care of her and her other kids...and love her ...

 

And I wonder why I couldn't find someone,, I don't have kids, I'm finishing school... I just don't get it...

 

That's why I feel somethings are set in stone. 

I haven't been drawing because I just feel. What a the point? If were given a choice of either having friends, a husband and a family...or being a struggling ,somewhat known artist with no friends or significant other., is choose the first one every time.. Of give up my art talent just so I can lead a happy,full life. 

 

Its just not fair to me... Why do I struggle so much..what takes people 2 days takes me 10 damn years. And that's from getting my license, finishing school,,

 

I just don't know, without friends and a love life...life loses its luster. 

Why live life without the enjoyment? Why live life of in gonna be walking on this rock all by myself? 

 

I'm not close with my brothers, and my friends all live in different states..,

 

**** my life 

[SailingSoul]

Its getting to a point where I hope something bad happens to me. What's the point...without friends and a love life ...

What a the point?

[Tid322]

7 hours ago, Misanthrop said:

I dunno about you, but most days I look forward to moments I can be alone again.

Wait till you enter the workforce aka rat race. Constantly being bothered by colleagues, management, vendors, customers/clients...you'll learn how detestable human interactions will be.

Besides aren't friends: people who contact you only when they wanna borrow money?

That's also family. Not just friends. "Oh, I know I've talked a lot of about you, and we haven't talked in months-years, but can I have some money?"

Humans can be pretty deplorable. I'm sorry.

 

Sailing, I'm sorry that you are being let down by others. But you can't seek your happiness in your relationships with them, because humans are so fallible, it is inevitable that any relationship (friend,spouse,children,coworker,parent,etc) will falter. If you can get a handle on being happy with yourself, you can find true happiness. If the other things happen, then that is wonderful, but expect a lot of pit falls and issues when there is other individuals involved. It's not to say they are intentional, but it's definitely inevitable.

[Tid322]

Also, just to add. You are still young. I didn't even meet my husband until right before I turned 24. Before then I had no one, I literally went overnight from being 100% alone to having someone. It will happen just as fast as that. Don't stress yourself on things beyond your control.

[morecoffee]

I didn't meet my husband until I was 30! And before I met him I felt just like you. It felt like I had no point, no purpose. But that all changed literally overnight. It will change for you too.

[morecoffee]

Just realized Tid322 said almost the same thing! See? It's gonna happen.

[Tid322]

8 minutes ago, morecoffee said:

Just realized Tid322 said almost the same thing! See? It's gonna happen.

And I am currently drinking more coffee. We are in sync today. Lol

[Xenia in Wonderland]

I 100% agree with Tid322 and morecoffee! Same thing happened to me. I was alone and miserable, felt like a loser, and thought I'm just too broken to find relationship. Until 3 years ago I've found someone just as broken (in the past even more than me) in a place I would never have expected for that to happen. A tiny event, a tiny decision led to a series of major changes in my life. 

Please, don't give up hope and try to be patient. Life is full of surprises, and no one is destined to be alone. I wish you the best of luck in finding your own little happiness!