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emily_

People have it worse than me

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I have no reason to be as messed up as I am.

my family is good. I'm not bullied. I grew up in a good environment. 

People have it so much worse...I have no reason to have these stupid mood swings and this sad feeling and suicidal feelings. My feelings aren't valid...others are way more important...

im always telling myself that it doesn't matter to anyone. I don't matter to anyone becaus eothers has it way worse...no matter how many times I hurt myself it won't matter....

 

i needed to vent this...sorry for attention seeking...I just havent the been doing well...

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I have no reason to be as messed up as I am.

my family is good. I'm not bullied. I grew up in a good environment. 

People have it so much worse...I have no reason to have these stupid mood swings and this sad feeling and suicidal feelings. My feelings aren't valid...others are way more important...

im always telling myself that it doesn't matter to anyone. I don't matter to anyone becaus eothers has it way worse...no matter how many times I hurt myself it won't matter....

 

i needed to vent this...sorry for attention seeking...I just havent the been doing well...

Life in it of itself is a hard thing to deal with. Being alive isnt an easy task and if you really think about what it even means to exist wow..things can get scary. Im not good with words but bottom line is Your feelings are valid. Theres always going to be someone who has it worse or better and thats the problen the whole comparing thing is what keeps us from getting to the root of the problem. Having things and people in your life does not equate happiness it certainly helps but life isnt so easily define like that. I feel your pain and I want you to know its ok not to be ok and its normal to feel crappy even when it feels like nothing wrong is going on. I really hope you feel better soon and that youre able to find peace. Is there a particular reason you think feeling down ?

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This is one of the hardest parts of mental illness for me - I grew up in a seemingly perfect family, had many opportunities available to me, and was never a "troublemaker", yet since I was a child, I've felt messed up. I still have trouble thinking of my feelings as valid, but just because other's have it worse, doesn't mean my feelings aren't valid, and it doesn't mean yours aren't either.

There is a biological component to depression that can cause these feelings, it's not just about environment. Whatever it is, there is a reason that you are feeling this way. And reaching out to express that, especially to others who can relate, isn't attention seeking. It's natural to want your pain to be seen and acknowledged.

Your feelings are valid. You are important and you do matter. I hope you are able to get through this bad period, and that you can look around to find people who can help you.

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3 hours ago, emily_ said:
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I have no reason to be as messed up as I am.

my family is good. I'm not bullied. I grew up in a good environment. 

People have it so much worse...I have no reason to have these stupid mood swings and this sad feeling and suicidal feelings. My feelings aren't valid...others are way more important...

im always telling myself that it doesn't matter to anyone. I don't matter to anyone becaus eothers has it way worse...no matter how many times I hurt myself it won't matter....

 

i needed to vent this...sorry for attention seeking...I just havent the been doing well...

I hear you Emily. I hope you keep  strong. Hopefully you manage to  get over with this episode soon. Hugs.

Edited by Camellia

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If you've got depression, you've got it bad, no matter what else you have. 

Awhh this made me smile. In the sense that it really is that simple . depression is a cruel thing to have that can attack just about anyone.

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Yes indeed. I have a decent career and I'm reasonably free. I have two cats and a daughter who's 22.

There are many days that I feel guilty for having it so good, yet being depressed almost to the point of being immobilized.

I know I need to make myself "feel good". I could lead a good life. But something is not letting me. Obviously, that something is me (in spite of the universe seeming to be actively hostile towards me).

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I also grew up with every advantage.  Health, financially middle class, decent looking, smart.  None of this has anything to do with mental illness.  Mental illness will take even the slightest disappointing situation and turn it into full blown depression, anxiety, etc...  It is what makes it so hard for those who don't suffer from it to understand.  Geez Billy has everything going for him, why is he depressed?  Accept your mental illness as something you have and will manage it isn't who you are.  Don't do what I did which was sit around for years wasting energy thinking I shouldn't have it, it  will do you no good.  Fact is you do have it.  But you can get better. Don't apologize for posting on here, you posted because you needed to reach out.  Please get the help you need to come up with some treatment options.   I will be rooting for you. 

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I feel that way as well. I really have nothing to complain about. I am trying to turn this statement into gratitude. For example when I compare the homeless. I am grateful that I have  roof. I am grateful that I have food. I start the day off writing 5 down.  You are not taking your life for granted! That is fantastic, a lot of people dont even notice the positive in their life. Dep is an illness and you have to work with you brain to get it to think in a different path. Hugs*

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Hi Emily, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can totally relate, as I often feel the same. Your feelings are valid. It might help to educate yourself about depression, try to identify those unhelpful thinking patterns and separate them from your real thoughts. It's difficult, especially in the depths of this illness, and it takes time and patience. If you can, try to find a good therapist, who could guide you through the darkness into the light.

On 4/22/2017 at 7:21 AM, emily_ said:
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I'm not bullied.

Depression is the most vicious bully that exists... It's constantly whispering those awful things to your ear, making you believe they are your own thoughts. I believe you can beat this and wish you all the best! :console:

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I am the same. Decent parents. Decent childhood. Good education. Good job. Lovely wife. Good kids (about to graduate college even!) Enough money. Etc etc etc and always sad. Always always..And then I feel bad for feeling bad which makes me feel bad.Repeat

Depression is a real Biotch regardless of your background or situation.

Ethan

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