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has he fallen out of love or is he depressed?


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Hi, Any advice or support would be grateful here ?


I recently started dating this guy and we fell in love with each other and now he says he's not in love with my anymore.

We work together and during September last year we started a friendship up and became very close.  During this time he was in a relationship but we both started to develop feelings for one another. His relationship was taking its tool on him as he felt he was being suffocated by his girlfriend at the time and wasn't allowed to be himself. I liked hanging out with him for who he was and that was new to him. He the broke up with his girlfriend and he became much happier. 

We started hanging out alot more and our feelings developed further from there.  

Around February time our jobs became increasing difficult, we both work as teaching assistants in the same school for children who have had sexual trauma. We deal with alot of bevaviour issues and he was used alot to deal with these issues because he was a bloke and was strong enough, this in time started taking a toll on him and he started having nightmares regarding work.

a few weeks past and things at work didn't get better. He then started shutting off from everything and told me he didn't love me anymore and that he never had. He began saying that he didn't feel he deserved happiness or to be loved and didn't know why anyone could love him. He then began stating that he felt numb and had no emotion for anything. He began thinking the world would be better of without him. Things he used to enjoy doing like sport and watching films no longer appealed to him.

he went to a doctor and they gave him medication for depression. During this time he had completely pushed me away and closed himself of to the world.

On the medication he began feeling better and rang me a few weeks later saying he still had feelings for me and wanted to see me. We started hanging out again and things were great between us. Last week he went back to cricket training and collapsed. After he collapsed his mood went straight down again. He felt he could no longer look after himself anymore. He started pushing me away again saying he didn't love me and he never had but he didn't want to tell me to leave either. We went to his mum's birthday party at the weekend and he is normally the life and soul of the party but he just wanted to sit in the corner and fade away. 

He's now stating that he knows he loves me and wants me but can't feel anything about anything anymore, he just feels guilty for whatever he does in his life.

weve said we will give each other space while he goes through this, but I'm so confused myself! Hes said that he never loved me and evrrything was just a lie to make me fall in love with him and now I have he doesn't want to tell me to go because he will feel bad. But then he will message me saying that he can't imagine a world without me he still wants to kiss me when he sees me and that it's not that he doesn't love me just that he can't feel anything for anything just guilt all the time. 

Is this his depression? Has anyone else been through this? What do I do?

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Hi! Of course I can't say for sure if it's his depression or not, but it really seems like that has a lot to do with it. I know that sometimes when I am very very depressed, I act like a different person. I have had someone tell me they don't love me before, but later, after their depression got a bit better they explained it to me like this: they said they felt incapable of love and that they felt guilty for burdening me with their mental illness. So to them, pushing me away was their Irrational way of protecting me from their illness. 

I hope that makes sense. I think the important thing is that he gets help for whatever is going on, and you get support for your emotions too. 

I really hope it works out. Keep posting. Thanks for sharing. 

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