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verysadman

Wife self injury, problem with my daughter :(

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I have a daughter from my previous marriage.

My current wife want me nothing to do with my daughter, she never saw her. We got married while I was abroad.

Few days back I raised the issue, saying I would like to see my daughter, she flipped totally. she screamed yesterday.

She is not eating any food.

Yesterday she said she could not take it any more and grabbed a serated knife and sliced her hand, she then went ahead and grabbed a kitchen knife to slice her hand, I grabbed it, I would have cut my hands in the process.

I wanted to call 911 and call cops.

I do not know what to do, she does not understand, she is possessive of me and want me all to herself.

What to do guys should I just divorce her and move on, I love her but this is too much.

I went and met a psychologist she said, my wife has to get therapy. My wife does not agree to therapy or anything else.

We have no other problem than this issue about seeing my daughter.

I could not get in to her head and understand.

 

 

 

 

Edited by verysadman

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Very sorry to read you are going through this.  It sounds painful.  Yeah you can't get anything into anyone's head if they don't want to listen.  Her mental illness is causing her to be irrational, possessive and possibly violent to herself or others.  I think you may be at the ultimatum point.  She either gets treatment or you go. 

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I am so so sorry for what you are going through.  I mean I cannot even tell you how sorry I am.  What a nightmarish situation!  I would like to offer you words that would help but truthfully I am at a loss and fear that anything I might say could make matters worse, which is the LAST thing I would want to do.  One idea which comes to mind is that you might utilize a crisis hotline during crises. I don't know.    Sometimes these hotlines can be helpful.  My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Edited by Epictetus

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I’m sorry you are feeling confused and helpless. It’s a difficult situation to be in. Talk to her and let her know your concerns about her behavior. Have you both discussed attending marriage counseling? Please know I will be praying for you and her as well.

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it sounds like an awful situation & I am sorry.  To me, your daughter should always come first.  you need her in your life.  if your wife does not like it, then she needs to go.  This is just my opinion.  you have to do what is best for you. unfortunately no matter which way you turn right now is going to be hard on you.  hang in there!

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I agree with JSOP.  Your wife has a problem and is essentially throwing a dangerous fit over your daughter.  What if something else comes up in the future that threatens her, will she stop with self harm (self harm is bad enough).  This just doesn't sound healthy.  IF she were willing to work through this or find a way to calm down about it, perhaps it's worth staying.  But the way I see it, she's manipulating you with her self harm.  Are you willing to walk on eggshells to keep from setting her off in the future?  Are you willing to lose your daughter over her insisting you don't see your daughter, when she could find a way to cope with her jealousy.  Love and relationships are a TWO person process.  And don't worry about trying to get into her head...you're not her counselor, it's only safe and healthy for a professional to try to get into her head.  Be safe and best wishes.

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