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Regarding the "Friends" That Don't Reply To Messages


Kabuto

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It's honestly really freaking rude when people don't reply to my brief cordial messages on facebook.   Shoot out a freaking reply!   Makes me wonder why I keep them on....it's lame to get ignored.

HUGE pet peeve.   Can't these people show some basic civility and decency?

Obviously, I can't control their actions, and simply need to have a zen attitude.   But wow, it's not right.   And it makes me feel angry for reaching out to them.

Edited by Kabuto
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I can't stand this either.. it's one thing if it happens once.. and even then.. if you have time to read the message.. maybe answer it? I think social media has made people less connected.. quite the opposite of what it was intended to do.. at the end of the day it is just words on a screen.. it will never compare to live interactions.. so when "friends" ignore messages it is much easier because they don't have to see your face.. 

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I know that frustrating feeling it makes me anxious n mad and keep going back  to their page and thinking about it while walking or riding the bus and just mad. 

I guess they have their reasons. Maybe they r busy, maybe they do not know what to reply, maybe they r like me where they typed out a long reply, then backspace, re-type, delete, re-type, backspace, re-type, then decide ok I don't know what is right to say, then decide not to reply at all. There's always another reason, so don't think too much about it.

Easier said than done :coopcray:

 

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Guyyyys, yES. How about the other person starting the conversation/showing interest, and then you're like oh cool, sure let's talk, and THEN they ignore you???? I feel like I'm loosing some social mind-fuc k game tbh. The problem with this for me, isn't even that I care so much about talking to these people, but like it makes NO SENSE, and I just can't have that. I need reasons. And there's none. And that's why I can't get this out of my head. Just say, "I can't talk right now". "That's bs I'm not taking part in this conv anymore". WHATEVER. Just some simple fcuking respect, please.

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^totally hate that.  especially when i just ask them a simple question in reply.  it's like:

them: "hey, how are u?  what's up?" *me giving a simple response, then asking them a simple question* them: *places a box of crickets in front of me, then walks away*  *me waiting some time for their response... then saying "Hello?"*  *crickets chirping*

It's like they're saying, "Here, let my conversational crickets answer in lieu of me.  They know all the answers to the questions you want to ask of me."

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It's a matter of courtesy. With the advent of the internet and then texting people don't bother responding  or answering responses in any kind of timely manner. Conversations ends when one person stops talking---not when someone verbally closes the conversation like one would in person or on the phone.  "Talk to you later." "See you tomorrow." "I don't want to talk to you anymore."  I HATE it because I'm the one sitting there wondering if the conversation is over, or checking for a response, when I could be doing something else while they are off doing something else without a care that I'm still waiting on a response.  Going hand in hand with that is the question thing---when you ask a question or two and they are skipped over or the more important question is skipped over.  I notice it with almost everyone to the point where I bullet point questions in emails and still don't get answers for all of them.

Oh hey, shiny thing! So what were you saying? :P

That's the attention span nowadays.

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Let's not forget that when you're depressed and often also lonely and possibly even out of a job, you become a lot more reliant and needy. If I compare to the days when I was working, I felt less of a urge to connect to people outside of work. Simply because you had your dosage of 'real face to face' human interaction at work. Everything outside of that was just extra. This makes it allright for you to put off a response simply because you're a bit tired, perhaps need some alone time, do some important stuff, you know, people who work - especially full time - have to make do with the little time that's left after work. Hell, work can also make you depressed instead and not give a dang about the needs of others at that moment. The key is not to try to change the other so much, but rather keep yourself busy. But I know precisely how hard it is to act when you've got not motivation.

Anyway, if you've got their number, call them instead. This is a very direct way to connect I'd rate it second with real contact as first. Social media - this whole chatting and apping thing is very cumbersome, indirect and often frustrating. It's only really useful in specific situations when you can't phone someone. Try to be less reliant on it and meet up instead by calling them.

Also. Depressed people aren't exactly optimistic. If you can choose to receive positive or negative vibes, which one would you choose? Of course, it really, really helps to talk to someone about it. That creates a dilemma. But hey, if you got good friends they'll hear you out. But don't do it on the chat or app. Talk to them directly. It offers them the oppertunity to respond directly as well which makes it less of a burden for them.

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