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Chubbybunny89

Men hating women, fat shaming, slut shaming etc..

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Not sure if this is the right place to put this... I need to put a trigger warning as I will be quoting abusive language that may trigger some people.

As a fat woman I'm quite aware of what it is like to be taunted for your appearance ,and of the sexism that people in my country blatantly deny whilst ironically do themselves. Everyone knows that the easiest target is a fat woman. It is seen as unforgivable. Now, I know my size is due to my unhealthy habits, I know I need to change etc... but I don't believe I deserve the abuse I've gotten because of it. I don't see people attacking smokers in the same way. Anyways, enough of that, my post is about how people in general just seem to lack sympathy for other human beings period. I'm using the example of fat women as it's quite easy to find examples of this, and I can personally attest to this. I was reading this post on Reddit, an Asian man complaining about Asian women getting fat or some crap. Despite the fact that he has a girlfriend he seems grossly offended that the women around him are fat. But he's not single so why does he care about what other women around him look like? I won't repost it, but I will quote-- 

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I feel like growing up you could always at least count on the asian girls to be thin and petite. There was always social pressure to remain thin.............................My girl and I were walking behind a herd of these girls today, and jokingly told her she looks like a *******ed supermodel compared to those thunderthighs (pro-tip always fatshame others in front of your girl to make sure she knows you'd never accept her letting herself go.)

The quote speaks for itself. I sincerely hope that girl has left him, for her own sake. I do not enjoy being an unattractive woman ,but I will admit being fat, crosseyed and ugly allows me to garden shrub out people like this. I will never fall in love with a man like that because a man like that will never approach me. I feel for the beautiful women who unknowingly fall for a******s like this because believe me guys are experts at being two faced and acting sweet when they want in the girls pants. I've seen it. My beautiful friends will be completely oblivious to the true nature of some of their suitors and guy friends. 

Well, then after that came the replies agreeing with him. Here's one, and the last quote I will do here.

 

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I don't need to care about a fat females feelings. I will fat shame her because she is asking too much of my eyes to see her. She is asking too much of the sun if she wants a tan. You know some women need to lose some weight. Nasty. I like curvy women, but if you're obese there is a problem. We have to get the harpoons and brace ourselves for Moby d**k. If women are god damn fat they are a liability to themselves and we are rewarding bad behavior.

 

So why don't you smoker shame then? -_-  People like this are why I hide myself. This doesn't make me want to go outside and run and it makes me want to hide inside under the covers.

Now this I am quoting because it shows what bothers me so much about this stuff-these are REAL PEOPLE, and they completely lack any sympathy. They do not care. At all. That's what bothers me. When people do not care about others, and do not care about hurting others-it gets to me. It really, really gets to me. Maybe I am too sensitive, but seriously, I'm tired of it. Why can't people stop being selfish a******s who hurt others?

I don't know why ,but I am always reading posts on places like the body builder forums(where they HATE pretty much everyone, especially fat women though.), red pill, and MGTOW stuff where they bash women as dumb gold digging *****, and of course the infamous return of kings websites. I don't know why I'm obsessed with reading and acknowledging the chauvnists in the world, and the horrible people. Maybe it's because people like this are why I don't go outside. People like this are why I don't even look in the mirror anymore, why I avoid eye contact on the street while thinking "please don't look at me". Because growing up, this is what I knew. Hate. Bullying, Being told I am crap. Being reminded that it was the men who were in charge, and that we all had to appease and appeal to them. Anyone who dared to have a loud voice and be female was targeted. Because women should shut up and look pretty, and if we don't look pretty we are a shame because we submit their poor eyes to our ugly bodies. 

And best of all, the term feminist is now a hated term and even an insult. I can't say "I'm a feminist" without people jumping down my throat and saying I ahte men. No I don't hate men-I hate how men treat women! That's what I hate. There was one guy on this Reddit forum who actually stood up and said that being hateful wouldn't solve anything. Of course, they all jumped on him and called him a "white knight" and a "social justice warrior".

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Hi Chubby...hope all is well!   :flowers:  I hear you and I understand where you're coming from.  People can be very cruel;  that is an unfortunate fact of life. 

I was always a target of extreme bullying growing up, even within my own family and even from a couple of boyfriends I had. 

Back then I was thin and pretty, but the way I was treated convinced me that I was ugly/inferior/subhuman, etc.   

Now I am overweight and still battling low self-esteem.  I agree wholeheartedly with you and Lauryn.   The world would be a much better place if everyone would be kind.  Sadly we live in a world where many people seem to feel better by stepping on others and hurting others.   They don't care how their actions can affect others.  

What I notice about men (and some women) who express hateful, misogynist views is that they are often immature.   They fail to understand that people should be treated with respect no matter their appearance, race,  gender, etc.   It reminds me of bullies who never grew up.   And I know you mentioned that men have done this to you but I've encountered just as many nasty women who have commented on my looks in a hurtful way.    I remember just a few years ago, this girl screamed across a parking lot that I was FAT!   The memory still hurts because I didn't do anything to her but she felt the need to insult a complete stranger.

As to the MGTOW crowd, the same applies to them...just a bunch of broken, insecure losers who find it more productive to bash women in general when they could be doing something with their own lives.   Sometimes they do it because they feel that women have rejected them.  Or they do it because they learned that behavior from other males like their fathers, brothers, friends, etc.  

I wouldn't really consider myself a "feminist" per se, but as a woman, I care very much about the rights of women and humanity in general.   So maybe that does make me a feminist?   Not sure.  But yes, people can be horrible.   We should try to remember that it's never about us.   If somebody is acting ugly, THEY are the ugly one, not you.  

 

 

 

Edited by FeelinBlueAllTheTime

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Also, I have to add this...being a woman is magical, even with all the BS we deal with.  No disrespect to the dudes here (you guys are awesome!) but there's just something cool about being a girl, despite what society says.   I hope no one takes offense to that.  

Furthermore, Chubby...I can relate to what this treatment has done to you.   Being called "ugly" and having my confidence destroyed at an early age has affected me for most of my life.   Not only that, it was miserable to grow up with ZERO affirmation and positive reinforcement as a young girl.   We need that because the world isn't a kind place.   I had an abusive stepfather, abusive boyfriends, constantly had to deal with racism because I looked different, there was favoritism within my family toward a certain relative,  etc. 

There is a lot of pressure to look and act a certain way.   If you meet the approved standards of others, you will be accepted and treated well.   If you don't, you risk being bullied, mistreated, and isolated.   As I continue getting older I feel even more self-conscious about my appearance and how others perceive me;  I know that much of this anxiety has to do with the way I've been treated.   Sometimes I feel bad because I gained weight but then I realize that this feeling comes from the toxic attitudes of others.   I'm not in my teens or twenties anymore.   I'm older now, with a shift in hormones and certain issues that make it more difficult to lose weight.   So while I would love to be that 21-year-old girl again with the tight little body I once had, it won't happen.  

I have to work on trying to love myself and being kind to myself despite the harsh words and dirty looks that others throw at me.   This is what I wish for ALL women and even some men who may be struggling with a poor self-image due to bullying.    

 

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On 4/28/2017 at 3:38 AM, FeelinBlueAllTheTime said:

Also, I have to add this...being a woman is magical, even with all the BS we deal with.  No disrespect to the dudes here (you guys are awesome!) but there's just something cool about being a girl, despite what society says.   I hope no one takes offense to that.  

Furthermore, Chubby...I can relate to what this treatment has done to you.   Being called "ugly" and having my confidence destroyed at an early age has affected me for most of my life.   Not only that, it was miserable to grow up with ZERO affirmation and positive reinforcement as a young girl.   We need that because the world isn't a kind place.   I had an abusive stepfather, abusive boyfriends, constantly had to deal with racism because I looked different, there was favoritism within my family toward a certain relative,  etc. 

There is a lot of pressure to look and act a certain way.   If you meet the approved standards of others, you will be accepted and treated well.   If you don't, you risk being bullied, mistreated, and isolated.   As I continue getting older I feel even more self-conscious about my appearance and how others perceive me;  I know that much of this anxiety has to do with the way I've been treated.   Sometimes I feel bad because I gained weight but then I realize that this feeling comes from the toxic attitudes of others.   I'm not in my teens or twenties anymore.   I'm older now, with a shift in hormones and certain issues that make it more difficult to lose weight.   So while I would love to be that 21-year-old girl again with the tight little body I once had, it won't happen.  

I have to work on trying to love myself and being kind to myself despite the harsh words and dirty looks that others throw at me.   This is what I wish for ALL women and even some men who may be struggling with a poor self-image due to bullying.    

 

This is an old topic, so you might not answer, but I was sort of curious: what, about being a woman, is 'magical'? I'm not saying you're wrong, it's just a weird choice of word to use without a qualifier.There are many things you could be talking about, of course; the ability to have children, the ability to wear cute dresses and shoes, the ability to be able to show emotion without being put down (mostly). But I don't know that everyone would agree with that.

Again, not criticizing. Just very curious about your point of view.

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Reddit is a bad website in general though, not the worst website, I mean the people there are lonely and full of problems and they think projecting is gonna cure any of their problems. There's this semi-reddit called imgur where they upload their pics and stuff and anyone who has read the comments on imgur know what I mean. They're idiots in a very bad way because they think they are any better than others, just like what happens often in bad communities. There's another website much older than reddit that is similiar but without the accounts and if you'd read their garbage you'd get a heart attack because it is a literal sewage.

I have googled the quote you posted and I highly recommend you not to mention what kind of subreddit that is because they may come to troll here and that subreddit you are quoting iirc is highly made fun of, even among redditors, don't take anything they say seriously, if they mean it or not. Despite fact they obviously exhibit symptoms of depression and insecurities they shouldn't be allowed to post here in my opinion, not obviously anyways. Because with the whole attitude that consists mainly of "I am better than thou but I actually hate myself but I won't fix my problems so instead I will bully other people who I feel are easy targets" you'd get a toxic mess. In short, don't browse reddit, if you can't stop, don't browse stupid subreddits like the one you quoted from at least.

In my opinion I don't give a shit if someone is fat or not, if it gives them health issues whether mentally and/or physically I start caring by actually caring. 

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I know what you mean of those types of people who expect how people should behave based on gender. Recently it made me think of that nurse who is not credited for breaking the world record in a marathon for not wearing those archaic lady nurse outfit. Scrubs and pants is the norm today!

My whole life I’ve I am expected to act and do things women suppose to do. I don’t like heels and dresses, and I don’t like cooking. In fact I had a recent issue w/ my dad that I walked out. He believes women can never be  president. And my brother used to make fat jokes. Even called our mom fat.  He shut up when our mom slimmed down while he became me obese and had a high blood pressure attack while in his low 20s. He is a loser, living off of family and spends his life on computer, food, and D&D. That’s karma.

best advice is stay away or walk away from people who look down  and have expectations on you. Love yourself. 

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