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Existensial crisis fear of death and age


June322

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Hi my name is Mary im 22 and ive been depressed and anxious for most of my life. However for most of my life ive been able to hide it but recently ive hit all time low. Im the most depressed I have ever been. Not only depressed but im suddenly just very afraid of everything. Im afraid of age, im afraid of death. And the fact that were on a rock floating in space freaks me out. I keep thinking about dying and the world ending. The news does t help with stephen hawkins saying the world will end soon and aliens will invade. I know it sounds stupid to soem but I just cant stop thinking about this stuff ? im already seeing a therapist and taking pills for my depression but I seem to be getting worse each and every day. Does anyone have advice on how to overcome these fears ?if you have something negative to say please dont bother replying. Thank you so much in advanced. Honestly im almost certain i wont ever get better ? if i feel like this noq imagine in a couple yeara fucckkk

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You're still very young @Maryyy so you have time to hopefully seek out and find the right help for your situation.

I understand exactly what you mean when you say that you've managed to hide your anxiety and depression for a long time, but suddenly feel it's worsening. I'd suggest you return to your doctor and/or therapist and explain that things are not improving for you. Many might say your fears are irrational, but for you they are obviously very real, so you need help to overcome them.

I can't offer you advice to help with that, but would simply say that you should perhaps try not to think too far into the future and try and settle for taking your life one step at a time. By that I mean live for each day and don't ponder too much on what may or may not happen in the distant future. Take baby steps and see if you can slowly accept that we can't really control many things, but we can attempt to improve ourselves and our lives by taking things simply and slowly. Try and find a distraction, so that you are not constantly worrying about the things that you say are bothering you.

I know this probably won't help one little bit, but I hope you find some form of solace from your pain and worries.

I'm only sorry I can't offer more beneficial advice or help, but being young, as you are, is a good starting point for trying to move forward.

Good luck and don't hesitate to come back and let us know how you are getting on.   

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Ive had a lot of childhood traumas so im prone to anxiety and have a really bad case of depression and panic disorder. I almost feel like ill probably end up dying of a stroke or a heart attack from my fear and lack of sleep. Thank you so much for replying I hope I cab find my truw passion and happiness in life and not have to fake it anymore. i hope you feel better soon as well!

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I was terrified of the whole 2012 thing. I absolutely thought it was going to happen. I remember at the end of 2011, wondering how in the world I was going to survive the night before the world was going to end. Isn't that silly? I thought my anxiety would **** me before the end of the world would get the chance to.

I studied every angle of the 2012 deal, for a couple of years, it was really embarrassing actually. My friends laughed at me, they thought it was hilarious. I thought about it a lot in the beginning of the year, but as school and stuff went on, I slowly began to forget about it. Then suddenly it was December, and I figured well ... If it is real, then I can't stop it. So I might as well not waste my last few days being terrified to leave my room. If it's not really, and I do make a scene, then I will regret it. The day arrived and the hours passed, and I kept breathing.

 

That's all you really can do. Fear is a nasty thing, and doesn't always make the most sense. The best advice I can pass along to you is to just keep living, and don't let fear stop you in your tracks. If you have to, accept that you are afraid, and continue on. 

I've spent most of my life afraid, for no real reason. Now I just wake up expecting it, that way I'm not surprised by it, I embrace it and move forward with it. I would love to live a day without being afraid, but for now I'll survive with carrying it with me.

Over time it does dull down. 

 

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Welcome. 

I can totally relate to how you feel, I have had panic attacks in the past when Im overcome with fear of dying. I have no advice really, I guess try and take each day as it comes and dont dwell too much but its easier said than done.

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I think all  of our fears that cause anxiety and depression are different based on our experiences, but they feel very real and are never unimportant.  I’m glad you aren’t hiding it anymore so that you can confront it, and not let it have control over you any longer.  What are some things that you like to do and find joy in?  Perhaps focusing on those will help drown out the anxiety that can take up too much of our time and space in our head.  Have you spoken with your therapist about these fears?

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Don't worry about the world ending. There have been predictions of doom since forever. But the world keeps going on somehow. If aliens were going to invade they would have done it already. So don't worry about them, either. 

Dont worry about dying. You are an immortal spiritual being. It may seem hard to believe, but it's true. Death is just a transition to the next experience. 

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On 24/03/2017 at 7:05 AM, Maryyy said:

Ive had a lot of childhood traumas so im prone to anxiety and have a really bad case of depression and panic disorder. I almost feel like ill probably end up dying of a stroke or a heart attack from my fear and lack of sleep. Thank you so much for replying I hope I cab find my truw passion and happiness in life and not have to fake it anymore. i hope you feel better soon as well!

My pleasure Maryyy. Thank you for replying also. It's always nice to think something you've said may help, so along with the other messages you've now received, try and be positive. I know it's difficult; something I struggle with also, but it can be done and when you are able to put even a little effort in, it can cheer your day up no end. Oh, even though I'm new here too, welcome :thumbsup:

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Honestly I feel like my fears are eating me alive. Today i went to the movie theather with my siblings and it was horrible my chest kept throbbing because i was just consumed with so many different negative thoughts. If I keep going this way id probably end up dying of a heart attack ? all this stress from fear cant be good for mt heart. Movies are obsessed with space. And if you think space is just a scary place. Its scary to think whats out there and how esposed we are to everything and all the unknown. Its also sad how rapidly time passes. Anyways THANK YOU for all your replies Everyone. i truly wish all of you the best and I hope you all find what youre are looking for and wishing you all happiness and peace of mind .

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On 3/24/2017 at 6:29 AM, WordsInTheWind said:

I was terrified of the whole 2012 thing. I absolutely thought it was going to happen. I remember at the end of 2011, wondering how in the world I was going to survive the night before the world was going to end. Isn't that silly? I thought my anxiety would **** me before the end of the world would get the chance to.

I studied every angle of the 2012 deal, for a couple of years, it was really embarrassing actually. My friends laughed at me, they thought it was hilarious. I thought about it a lot in the beginning of the year, but as school and stuff went on, I slowly began to forget about it. Then suddenly it was December, and I figured well ... If it is real, then I can't stop it. So I might as well not waste my last few days being terrified to leave my room. If it's not really, and I do make a scene, then I will regret it. The day arrived and the hours passed, and I kept breathing.

 

That's all you really can do. Fear is a nasty thing, and doesn't always make the most sense. The best advice I can pass along to you is to just keep living, and don't let fear stop you in your tracks. If you have to, accept that you are afraid, and continue on. 

I've spent most of my life afraid, for no real reason. Now I just wake up expecting it, that way I'm not surprised by it, I embrace it and move forward with it. I would love to live a day without being afraid, but for now I'll survive with carrying it with me.

Over time it does dull down. 

 

Me too! i remember being really into that theory and thinking something bad was going to happen. But its weird I dont remember being too Afraid of it back then. Even though i was way younger then I remember me not even remembering it on that day. Thanks for sharing your story always nice to hear others share your same fears and how they were able to overcome theirs 

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On 3/24/2017 at 8:07 PM, One More Red Nightmare said:

Don't worry about the world ending. There have been predictions of doom since forever. But the world keeps going on somehow. If aliens were going to invade they would have done it already. So don't worry about them, either. 

Dont worry about dying. You are an immortal spiritual being. It may seem hard to believe, but it's true. Death is just a transition to the next experience. 

Thank you soo much. I pray you're right.  Seems so ridiculous that im so afraid of the world ending and aliens invading. Even just reading that lol but the universe is so big and were just here floating in it ? Idk why ive suddenly developed a fear to life. Its ridiculous i wish i could just live a long peaceful life so I can provide for my family. I truly apreciate you trying to comfort my fears :) I hipe youre doing well and that whatever youre battling you are able to overcome them as well!

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On 3/24/2017 at 3:00 PM, bsbmom said:

I think all  of our fears that cause anxiety and depression are different based on our experiences, but they feel very real and are never unimportant.  I’m glad you aren’t hiding it anymore so that you can confront it, and not let it have control over you any longer.  What are some things that you like to do and find joy in?  Perhaps focusing on those will help drown out the anxiety that can take up too much of our time and space in our head.  Have you spoken with your therapist about these fears?

Thank you im worried ill get worse with time :( thats a good question im just trying to figure out what i like and pick up a hobby and persue a career i truly enjoy. I hope you whatever is bothering you gets better as well!

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I totally get the anxiety in crowds….breathing exercises in those moments have helped me a great deal in those moments.  Yes, find things that make you happy!  I’m very big on peace.  I must feel that peace in my heart….or things will stress me out.  It takes a lot of thinking, and focus to think about if a particular situation is making me feel peace or stress…and to work through it at that very moment.  Ultimately, it also requires much faith on my part…I am of the belief that God is in complete control…and it is my  job to trust in that. I’m not saying that is easy….but I do try. 

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Just now, bsbmom said:

I totally get the anxiety in crowds….breathing exercises in those moments have helped me a great deal in those moments.  Yes, find things that make you happy!  I’m very big on peace.  I must feel that peace in my heart….or things will stress me out.  It takes a lot of thinking, and focus to think about if a particular situation is making me feel peace or stress…and to work through it at that very moment.  Ultimately, it also requires much faith on my part…I am of the belief that God is in complete control…and it is my  job to trust in that. I’m not saying that is easy….but I do try. 

 

I crave peace so bad. I cant even get a decent night of sleep because of all my anxieties and fears. What makes you believe in God ? What gives you faith that hes real and loves us? I ask because ive recently been in doubt about God and I know thats bad. I think having a genuine belief in god would probably help me but not if I keep having doubts 

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I don't believe in God as many people do. Heaven and hell are here where we live, whether its in confidence and peace or in miserable depression.

I believe that we can only try to be better people to the people and other parts of our world. For every time you feel fear, think of a good action that can counteract what you fear.

examples:

Negative thought: World coming to an end. Oh no!

Positive action: I can do my part to make it better for those who have to deal with it.

@Maryyy, maybe your meds are making you more anxious. Talk to the doctor who prescribed them for you. They will keep giving them to you unless you tell them you don't find them useful. Also docs can prescribe stuff to help with sleep.

So many of us keep going. In a month, I'll be 61 and I'm grateful to be fighting my disease, as disheartening as it is at times. And FWIW, yeah, I've been depressed since childhood, ADD, lots of trauma in my early life. Lots of acting out as a teen and into my early 20s...and some would say 30s...40s...50s...s..h.i.t. I don't think I'm ever growing up.

 

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44 minutes ago, Dolphin2013 said:

I don't believe in God as many people do. Heaven and hell are here where we live, whether its in confidence and peace or in miserable depression.

I believe that we can only try to be better people to the people and other parts of our world. For every time you feel fear, think of a good action that can counteract what you fear.

examples:

Negative thought: World coming to an end. Oh no!

Positive action: I can do my part to make it better for those who have to deal with it.

@Maryyy, maybe your meds are making you more anxious. Talk to the doctor who prescribed them for you. They will keep giving them to you unless you tell them you don't find them useful. Also docs can prescribe stuff to help with sleep.

So many of us keep going. In a month, I'll be 61 and I'm grateful to be fighting my disease, as disheartening as it is at times. And FWIW, yeah, I've been depressed since childhood, ADD, lots of trauma in my early life. Lots of acting out as a teen and into my early 20s...and some would say 30s...40s...50s...s..h.i.t. I don't think I'm ever growing up.

 

Awh it always makes me a little sad to hear when people say they dont think theres a God. Partially because I have many doubts myself but wouldnt it be nice to know that theres someobe out there biger than us taking care of us wanting us to succeed and with their help we can. When I think about God I always hope that their a compassionate and loving. Anyways thanks so much for your reply its awesome to hear you gone trough so much and still going strong! I cant imagine myself making it to 61 being as strong as you. Im terrified of the world ending im constantly over thinking existence and now come to find out that many evidence points out the earth will be uninhabitable by 2050 thats 30 years from now ? apparently global warming and over population is rapidly catching up to us and were heading towards mass extinction* sighs* ...anyways thanks for your lovely response hope youre doing well :) and sorry for the ramble

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I know that feeling of craving peace~~and please don’t let me fool you~~it is an ongoing thing reminding myself that God is in control and that He loves me.  I believe in God as I have experienced him, and my experience began with similar questions to the ones that you raised:  wondering who is in control of the universe, how it was created, how it sustains itself.  It is funny you say that about having doubts about God, as I have just been reading and studying about many people in the Bible that doubted (Abraham, John the Baptist) and it has reminded me that it is okay to have doubts, as long as we don’t stay there long.  Are you involved in a church?  I didn’t start going to church until I was older, and it has provided much peace, learning about God and the love He has for us. 

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46 minutes ago, bsbmom said:

I know that feeling of craving peace~~and please don’t let me fool you~~it is an ongoing thing reminding myself that God is in control and that He loves me.  I believe in God as I have experienced him, and my experience began with similar questions to the ones that you raised:  wondering who is in control of the universe, how it was created, how it sustains itself.  It is funny you say that about having doubts about God, as I have just been reading and studying about many people in the Bible that doubted (Abraham, John the Baptist) and it has reminded me that it is okay to have doubts, as long as we don’t stay there long.  Are you involved in a church?  I didn’t start going to church until I was older, and it has provided much peace, learning about God and the love He has for us. 

Seeing the world so bad as it is and hearing how the earth has an experation date of 20 to 30 years absolutely terrifies me ? but whos to say I or even earth will even make it that far *sighs* I feel like lately ive been faking my faith and when I pray I feel like im not being heard. But thank you for reminding me that those people had those doudts in their time as well. I hope soon I'am able to feel Gods love anf Guidence and he can bless me with strength and a peace of mind. I actually Just started going to church once a week im going today and it helps sometimes. Still waiting for that special spark. Thanks again for your response may God continue to bless on this journey we call life :)

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I'm a little late on the update but just wanted to say I hear you too.

I don't have a spiritual practice and went through a time of being petrified of death. I started listening to podcasts and reading material on approaching the idea of death from a place of it just being another transition a part of life. This is not easy and I by no means am an expert on letting go of fear. But I found gaining different perspectives on death helped and cultivating a spiritual practice (sounds like you're doing a great job doing that, going to church and all!)

Your fears are not irrational. The world can be a very overwhelming place and there's a lot to be worried about. Some folks mentioned taking things slow and I totally agree. I've found trying to be 'mindful' and more present when I'm having recursive thoughts to be very helpful. There's a lot of resources out there on using mindfulness to counter intrusive and overwhelming thinking patterns and depression. This is of course subjective and isn't useful for everyone. I find the secular approaches more helpful because you can adapt meditative techniques to you're own religious / spiritual practice. When I can meditate and work on being present, my fears, anxities and the thinking perpetuated by them decreases.

Hope this isn't too preachy. Take care of yourself in whatever way that means for you!

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4 hours ago, sadavocado said:

I'm a little late on the update but just wanted to say I hear you too.

I don't have a spiritual practice and went through a time of being petrified of death. I started listening to podcasts and reading material on approaching the idea of death from a place of it just being another transition a part of life. This is not easy and I by no means am an expert on letting go of fear. But I found gaining different perspectives on death helped and cultivating a spiritual practice (sounds like you're doing a great job doing that, going to church and all!)

Your fears are not irrational. The world can be a very overwhelming place and there's a lot to be worried about. Some folks mentioned taking things slow and I totally agree. I've found trying to be 'mindful' and more present when I'm having recursive thoughts to be very helpful. There's a lot of resources out there on using mindfulness to counter intrusive and overwhelming thinking patterns and depression. This is of course subjective and isn't useful for everyone. I find the secular approaches more helpful because you can adapt meditative techniques to you're own religious / spiritual practice. When I can meditate and work on being present, my fears, anxities and the thinking perpetuated by them decreases.

Hope this isn't too preachy. Take care of yourself in whatever way that means for you!

Not too preachy at all! I think youre right its not good to over think and true happiness comes with living in the now the present. Living in the past usually brings on more sadness and the future brings on fears and neither are good. But yeah ill definitely try look more into that stuff to aid my fears. But now what scares me us Global warming. Theres no arguing with facts were rapidly heading towards mass extinction and I feel like its happening way too quickly ? it sucks to feel like my nephews(wont have a future and how badly weve damaged our only earth with our bad habits and selfishness. *sighs* I pray we can somehow save the earth and give it and humans thousands of more years but than I think all must come to an end why not let it be with out generation what makes us so special that it shouldn't happen to us but to future humans. Anyways sorry for the ramble Thanks for the reply and you take care of yourself also :) at least I know were not all alone we got each other!

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On 3/28/2017 at 2:24 PM, Maryyy said:

I crave peace so bad. I cant even get a decent night of sleep because of all my anxieties and fears. What makes you believe in God ? What gives you faith that hes real and loves us? I ask because ive recently been in doubt about God and I know thats bad. I think having a genuine belief in god would probably help me but not if I keep having doubts 

I believe in God because I experienced Him directly during an "NDE" (actually a death after an overdose).  He is not really "He".  God is a spirit, a boundless energy of creation.  (I use "He" not literally, just as an identifier.)

He is pure love and pure peace. He waits for us to return to Him.  We are like his prodigal sons and daughters in the metaphorical Biblical story. I wish everyone could experience what I experienced while I was gone. Words cannot describe the ecstasy of being One with Him.

I probably sound crazy, but I am not. I am telling the truth. Don't give up faith and hope in God. I know this world SUCKS. I hate being stuck here in this insane madhouse of fear and ego. But there is something much better waiting for us. To get there requires faith and perseverance. Let's help each other. 

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On 3/29/2017 at 9:28 AM, Maryyy said:

Seeing the world so bad as it is and hearing how the earth has an experation date of 20 to 30 years absolutely terrifies me ? but whos to say I or even earth will even make it that far *sighs* I feel like lately ive been faking my faith and when I pray I feel like im not being heard. But thank you for reminding me that those people had those doudts in their time as well. I hope soon I'am able to feel Gods love anf Guidence and he can bless me with strength and a peace of mind. I actually Just started going to church once a week im going today and it helps sometimes. Still waiting for that special spark. Thanks again for your response may God continue to bless on this journey we call life :)

Oh I hope you find peace in Jesus in that church.  Praying for that special spark for you as well! Yes, doubts are a part of our lives here on earth.  Something else that I have recently become so aware of is that God always loves us, but we have to choose to receive that love, and that is also an on-going process.  I listen and read to many different authors and gifted teachers...here is a forum of sites I find helpful if you ever want to take a glance.

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8 hours ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

I believe in God because I experienced Him directly during an "NDE" (actually a death after an overdose).  He is not really "He".  God is a spirit, a boundless energy of creation.  (I use "He" not literally, just as an identifier.)

He is pure love and pure peace. He waits for us to return to Him.  We are like his prodigal sons and daughters in the metaphorical Biblical story. I wish everyone could experience what I experienced while I was gone. Words cannot describe the ecstasy of being One with Him.

I probably sound crazy, but I am not. I am telling the truth. Don't give up faith and hope in God. I know this world SUCKS. I hate being stuck here in this insane madhouse of fear and ego. But there is something much better waiting for us. To get there requires faith and perseverance. Let's help each other. 

That sounds beautiful! :) to me you dont sound crazy at all. I think most people are a sleep in this world nobody reallt doing anything but merely existing. I do think its not good to over think and analyse things because its impossible to get all the anwsers ive been(doing that latelt ? idk im praying as much as I can and ive been going to church once a week i really want to have more faith and believe bit idk .,, I hope youre right though I pray theres a compassionate God who loves us :) and I like the way you describe him!! Take care stay in touch il let you know if my faith increases i will be working on it ?

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