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Loyal with fear of trusting

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Hi and welcome to the Forums Username24 !

I am so sorry that your heart and mind are not at peace!  That is a heavy, heavy weight to carry in life! I know this from personal experience so it is not foreign to me.    Hopefully you will find this site as helpful as I have.  Sometimes it is only people who are going through the same or similar things that are able to be really understanding and helpful.  People who are not suffering these things are often simply unable to relate.  I am looking forward to reading your posts.  I wish I knew what else to say right now.  I hope things get better for you so that you have tranquility and joy of life!  I wish you only good things!  - epictetus

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Some days i feel better and think that i can trust but then the moment i start to enjoy that feeling of NoT wondering  so much,,it happens. Chest is tight, air is scarce, and my stomach is twisting into knots. Sleep these days is more like im just in a deep trance..hate feeling this way,,although it beats feeling numb,, which at times is unbearable. 

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