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tpman

Social anxiety meds living a lie?

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Hi,

So for all of my adult life I have been on Paxil for social anxiety and depression... when I stop the meds I relapse and I feel like a become a different person... friends and colleagues say to me "are u ok"? "You seem different !?..

you see on meds I am very confident and outgoing... funny, strong, confident... off meds I am the polar opposite... 

i have come off meds 3-4 times over my adult life and each time I fail and relapse seems to reinforce my depdance on them... over the years It became kind of unhealthy (see my thread in OCD forum), and became what my psychologist described as a safety behaviour, ie: the meds was paradoxically reinforcing my anxiety...

i have again failed to come off meds. In the past I have come off them probably too fast and also what I did in the past was isolating myself during withdrawal. Eg: I left a job once and used that time to withdraw but I was also avoiding friends and stuff ... I kinda set my self up for failure ... a self-fulfilling prophecy if u will... as a result I relapsed and wound up becoming depressed and ended up having to go back on them.

Years later I attempted again but this time around kept working and didn't isolate... although initially successful I couldn't cope at work and relapsed majorly and had to quit my job, lost my apartment, and am now severely depressed...

for me this was the last ditch attempt to overcome my addiction/dependance on Paxil - and I failed.

i am a shadow of my former self...have lost everything and all confidence... 

I am now severely depressed and isolated... and the thing that is supposed to get me better (Paxil) is the very thing which is causing my depression (inability to come off it again ).. how am I supposed to get better when the "cure" is the problem(for me)... I feel like all these years I was living a lie... 

can anyone relate? 

Thanks

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The medical industry is loaded with lies. Medical mistakes are the third highest cause of death in the United States. From my personal experience, I've seen examples where some of this was on purpose. I have a family member that was... overdosed to the point of having a heart attack. She lived, but her mind is so horrifically shattered that she can hardly perform everyday tasks. For your problem, I would advise that you create a plan to get off your meds. Even if you've failed before, it's not to late to try again. -Cordially, OnceandFuture

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Please make sure when making a plan, that you include your GP. Coming off on your own can have devastating effects. I would also mention your concerns about the medication making you feel worse now due to your attempts in the past.

Natasha 

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Thanks - 

It's hard to think about coming off them right now... As I need to get better, and someone how just accept that these meds are my fate for now... Weather or not they are going to work, that's another story... 

Bit of a bind I'm in...

 

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