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DWC

Depression due to being considered ugly or unattractive

102 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post  

On 15/03/2017 at 9:49 PM, vega57 said:

You are welcome. Keep positive, remember things can be worse but in reality you have made a good life for you and your family. 

Maybe, who knows really.

Latest of me.

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5 hours ago, DWC said:

Maybe, who knows really.

Latest of me.

l.jpg

Like I said you don't lack confidence. Don't we all wish we had your confidence. I do 

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I hesitate to reply... usually when I give advice on here, it seems to irk people.  But, here goes.

 

* When I was your age, I'd have killed to look like you.  But I've had a few girlfriends.  And I've got an ex-wife.  And most of them were pretty attractive.  Go figure.

* Parlay your intelligence and sense of humor into a rich, fulfilling life.  Experience every moment.  Let your smile shine!  These things will attract the right women.  The more you press, the more you worry about this, the more you'll turn them off.  Be yourself, like what you like, excel at what you do.

 

Best of luck, my friend. 

 

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

"Depressed about being ugly"

Proceeds to post 10 smiling pics of himself.

Really?

IDK what medical classification this subtype of depression has, but I'd **** for this kind of depression.

Edited by marwit

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Posted · Report post  

3 hours ago, vega57 said:

Like I said you don't lack confidence. Don't we all wish we had your confidence. I do 

I'm not confident, but thanks.

3 hours ago, RatBoy said:

I hesitate to reply... usually when I give advice on here, it seems to irk people.  But, here goes.

 

* When I was your age, I'd have killed to look like you.  But I've had a few girlfriends.  And I've got an ex-wife.  And most of them were pretty attractive.  Go figure.

* Parlay your intelligence and sense of humor into a rich, fulfilling life.  Experience every moment.  Let your smile shine!  These things will attract the right women.  The more you press, the more you worry about this, the more you'll turn them off.  Be yourself, like what you like, excel at what you do.

 

Best of luck, my friend. 

 

Thanks for all your advice. Glad you've had girlfriends, that's good to hear. I will take your words on board.

17 minutes ago, marwit said:

"Depressed about being ugly"

Proceeds to post 10 smiling pics of himself.

Really?

IDK what medical classification this subtype of depression has, but I'd **** for this kind of depression.

Probably more a desire for validation. Honestly, I am not confident at all. Believe me when I say that I am depressed.

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Posted · Report post  

I got fitted for contact lenses a couple weeks ago and I had to wear them for 2 weeks straight. Let me tell you...it sucked hard. When you are so used to taking off your glasses when you know you have to look in the mirror - and all of a sudden you can't - ugh! Of course I totally don't look like a weirdo staring into the sink in public washrooms...

I've had a rough month (including non-ugly-related reasons). I woke up in the middle of the night and just thought, "Why spend your life bitter and ugly? Better to be happy and ugly." So at least I've got a more positive outlook at the moment.

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3 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I got fitted for contact lenses a couple weeks ago and I had to wear them for 2 weeks straight. Let me tell you...it sucked hard. When you are so used to taking off your glasses when you know you have to look in the mirror - and all of a sudden you can't - ugh! Of course I totally don't look like a weirdo staring into the sink in public washrooms...

I've had a rough month (including non-ugly-related reasons). I woke up in the middle of the night and just thought, "Why spend your life bitter and ugly? Better to be happy and ugly." So at least I've got a more positive outlook at the moment.

Glad you have a more positive outlook. Hope the contact lenses are okay now.

Are you saying you think I am ugly? People in the thread have been complimentary about my looks but people have different opinions.

I do have good bone structure and good coloured eyes but that doesn't automatically make me good looking. I feel like baldness has ruined my life. I looked like a blond pretty boy with hair but now I hate how I look with the shaved head.

Edited by DWC

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17 hours ago, DWC said:

Glad you have a more positive outlook. Hope the contact lenses are okay now.

Are you saying you think I am ugly? People in the thread have been complimentary about my looks but people have different opinions.

I do have good bone structure and good coloured eyes but that doesn't automatically make me good looking. I feel like baldness has ruined my life. I looked like a blond pretty boy with hair but now I hate how I look with the shaved head.

.....What?

I didn't mention (nor was thinking) about you at all when I wrote my post. I just wanted to vent about some issues I was having. I don't even know what part of my post you think was directed towards you.

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Posted · Report post  

On 3/18/2017 at 3:03 PM, DWC said:

Glad you have a more positive outlook. Hope the contact lenses are okay now.

Are you saying you think I am ugly? People in the thread have been complimentary about my looks but people have different opinions.

I do have good bone structure and good coloured eyes but that doesn't automatically make me good looking. I feel like baldness has ruined my life. I looked like a blond pretty boy with hair but now I hate how I look with the shaved head.

What matters is what you think, please don't gauge yourself by what others think, opinions are as different as people. And please take into account our mental illness colors our thoughts. Be good to yourself. 

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

So I posted on the dating site again and had little success. Women just aren't interested in me. Bizarre that some women were complimentary about my looks in this thread and I do have good facial features but females just don't care.

Edited by DWC

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14 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Believe me I know how you feel.  I'm always rejected.  It will most definitely be the death of me.

Sorry to hear that mate. I am not always rejected, but it definitely seems to be a minority of women who find me good looking.

Like you, it's ruining my life. My sexual frustration is through the roof but my confidence is non-existent so can't do anything about it.

It sucks, doesn't it? It all seems so unnecessary as well. I think I look better than some of these overrated 'hot' male celebrity idiots for instance.

I've had compliments in this thread and been told it's all in my head. But it's clearly not all in my head.

 

Edited by DWC

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Posted · Report post  

It's the worst fate I can ever imagine for someone.  It's definitely ruining my life.  It's not just because of sex with me.  I just want a loving relationship.  I posted my picture here as well and I've regretted it ever since to be honest.  You are not ugly.  I'm not ugly either I just have more baggage than anyone you will ever meet.

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3 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's the worst fate I can ever imagine for someone.  It's definitely ruining my life.  It's not just because of sex with me.  I just want a loving relationship.  I posted my picture here as well and I've regretted it ever since to be honest.  You are not ugly.  I'm not ugly either I just have more baggage than anyone you will ever meet.

Where is your picture, why was it a mistake?

Yeah, I don't get it either. I think at times I am fairly good looking, although I preferred how I looked with hair. Other times I hate myself. However, women seem to despise me, even online. I have some women who call me handsome and seem to like me (see this thread, a select few women on the dating sites), but I get other women saying I am 'clearly ugly' and nobody will want me. The irony is these women are often horrible looking.

It is a horrible fate, that's for sure. I have tons of baggage as well, we sound like kindred spirits.

Edited by DWC

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Posted · Report post  

3 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's posted in the member gallery.

You look normal enough to me man.

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15 minutes ago, sober4life said:

This the only time the word normal has been used to describe me in my whole life.

Lol, you seem really negative, like me in a lot of ways. It really sucks, doesn't it?

Life is garbage.

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Posted · Report post  

On 3/22/2017 at 4:30 PM, DWC said:

So I posted on the dating site again and had little success. Women just aren't interested in me. Bizarre that some women were complimentary about my looks in this thread and I do have good facial features but females just don't care.

Could be you are looking in the wrong place and women who aren't compatible with your qualities or what you are looking for in a woman and potential mate. Looks are what first attracts us to each other but please remember that there's more to us than just looks; there's beauty inside every shell. I'm no looker by a long shot and I was fortunate that my wife took time to know me; 28th of this month we start our 39th year together. Looks fade but love and commitment grows. Or it should. Lol. 

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5 minutes ago, vega57 said:

Could be you are looking in the wrong place and women who aren't compatible with your qualities or what you are looking for in a woman and potential mate. Looks are what first attracts us to each other but please remember that there's more to us than just looks; there's beauty inside every shell. I'm no looker by a long shot and I was fortunate that my wife took time to know me; 28th of this month we start our 39th year together. Looks fade but love and commitment grows. Or it should. Lol. 

I agree with you, it just seems that women are very shallow. Some women seem to find me physically appealing anyway but it should be about a lot more, you're right. To be fair I am intelligent but I am not very charismatic and not that humorous so I can forgive women for thinking I don't have the X Factor theu are looking for.

I tend to prefer girls next door to beautiful vixens myself.

I'm pleased you managed to find a wife, really happy for you, vega.

What I will say is that I find some women very physically appealing, and then I hate myself for being shallow. However, it's hard not to find certain women pretty.

Edited by DWC

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Posted · Report post  

Just now, DWC said:

I agree with you, it just seems that women are very shallow. Some women seem to find me physically appealing anyway but it should be about a lot more, you're right. To be fair I am intelligent but I am not very charismatic and not that humorous so I can forgive women for thinking I don't have the X Factor theu are looking for.

I tend to prefer girls next door to beautiful vixens myself.

I'm pleased you managed to find a wife, really happy for you, vega.

I think what you mean by charismatic is that you don't blabber about yourself which is a good quality. I was and still am a person of few words but that allowed me to observe and study people, to learn what they are truly about, I talk in a low voice, people don't feel overpowered and they appreciate that I actually listen, some don't appreciate it but than I don't have the need to be appreciated by many. I know this is cliche but take your time, the right woman is out there, heck part of the fun IS the journey, you'll be able to build a lasting relationship that is true and genuine and if it doesn't turn into a romantic relationship it could be a gratifying friendship or association. 

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13 minutes ago, vega57 said:

I think what you mean by charismatic is that you don't blabber about yourself which is a good quality. I was and still am a person of few words but that allowed me to observe and study people, to learn what they are truly about, I talk in a low voice, people don't feel overpowered and they appreciate that I actually listen, some don't appreciate it but than I don't have the need to be appreciated by many. I know this is cliche but take your time, the right woman is out there, heck part of the fun IS the journey, you'll be able to build a lasting relationship that is true and genuine and if it doesn't turn into a romantic relationship it could be a gratifying friendship or association. 

Yeah, I sometimes just sit on a bench in the street and observe people walking by. It's nice.

Well, I've talked to a couple of women on the dating site who way it's about far more than looks, but they think I am good looking anyway. As you say, it's about more than that. One of the women said she met a guy who was nothing to look at but he had a confidence about him she found very attractive and she ended up dating him.

Perhaps my mental health problems are the true issue here. I get so depressed so easily.

Edited by DWC

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Posted · Report post  

7 minutes ago, DWC said:

Yeah, I sometimes just sit on a bench in the street and observe people walking by. It's nice.

Well, I've talked to a couple of women on the dating site who way it's about far more than looks, but they think I am good looking anyway. As you say, it's about more than that. One of the women said she met a guy who was nothing to look at but he had a confidence about him she would very attractive and she ended up dating him.

Perhaps my mental health problems are the true issue here. I get so depressed so easily.

And that is definitely our challenge, that's why I harp on the fact that if we aren't stable mentally we need to get there before making major and important decisions. That being said, try to let things flow, there's no rush, especially for you. You're a young pup, you have many years yet to play the field, enjoy the journey. Women and men need to make it fun and challenging. I think I mentioned it here, the very first time, in fact in the first few minutes of meeting my now wife is told her that someday she would in fact BE my wife. She laughed, everyone laughed but look who gotthe last laugh AND a wonderful wife, mother and now grandmother. I'm blessed and fortunate, she treats me like a "king" and I her like my queen. In plain English, dude take your time, the one for you and her is our there. 

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