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Anon871

Am I capable of love?

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My mother is an abusive and controlling person. She believes that she is in love with my father, but all she dose is break him and hurt him because she cannot love herself. It is painful whenever I see her smile and "be nice" to herself because there is never a hint of genuine realness to it. If my father were to leave she'd try to **** him because her source of happiness comes from him.  The same with my Aunt who is settling with a man who hurts her, uses her for his green card, and cheats on her. And then there's me. I wonder if I can love. I dated for a month before, and while it obviosuly was not a relationship and more of infatuation that made me feel in love, I saw the controlling qualities my mother had in myself. I didn't manipulate or hurt him, but I would feel upset when my expectations of how I wanted a date to go would not go my way. I would also act clingy struggle to voice how I really felt to him, to a point where after we officially stopped dating he told me that it gets tiring to help me and that I need to stand on my own feet. As much as that hurt, it was true. Nowadays we talk occasionally (we decided to be friends) although not for an extended amount of time. I had even apologized for how I acted to him in regards to how controlling and manipulative I was, to which he responded "its ok, but I don't recall it being that bad. What you feel guilty about didn't hurt me at all".  I delete his number and our conversation after we chat as a way for me not to too attached or controlling and it helps me personally. Am I incapable of loving someone?

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Yes, you are indeed capable of loving someone.  Is there anyone you like in this world (including yourself too)? If yes, then love is another similar  emotion/feeling  you can have for someone else too.  You've got it in you :).  We all do.

Edited by zenzang

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