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I live in a ******* middle of nowhere. I was employed for a short period of time before I got fired. Currently I don't have the strength for another job hunt.

Every day is repetitive and everything seems like a pointless crap.

All of my friendships/relationships were a complete disaster and I am alone since 2013. I've even joined some local Christian group recently, and they're the nice people, but I have trouble connecting with them as well...

I am addicted to opioids and I don't want to stop because that makes me happier...

I cannot even find enough motivation and energy to finish my book.

My sleep cycle is messed up despite the use of melatonin (it gives me very nice dreams, but my sleep cycles are still erratic).

This is not good.

I just wanted to share this and to talk...

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I'm sorry. I've had periods of time like that, even with my job that I somehow hang on to.

Are you getting any medical help at all?

I recently found a couple anxiety and depression support groups through meetup and that's helping me out a bit. Connecting is hard, I have a very thick wall around me, but I think joining groups is a big deal, it means you still want to reach out, get some kind of connection, not give up. 


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