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I'm an outgoing introvert who attracts extroverts that I want to run from


Skittle

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I have terrible anxiety and depression and it keeps getting worse as I grow up. I enjoy solitude so much it's insane I'm majoring in marketing in a business school that can't be any more social than that! People often mistake me for an extrovert, I just know how to talk to people but that's because life is about survival of the fittest, you gotta do what you gotta do, I just know how to play my cards right. But regardless at the end of every day of my life, I can't wait to get home asap and just be in the comfort of my own space and mind. I avoid relationships like no other because nobody will ever understand me. If anyone ever falls for me or likes me... I end up avoiding them like the plague... even if I might possibly like them back... why? Because I'm an INTJ. I told myself this semester I'm going to change and give people a chance... try to open myself up more... so that's what I'm doing and I'm very impressed at how far I've been able to put myself out there... but now I'm breaking and wanting to run. How do I tell this extrovert person who has a crush on me that I need space, that I might not be the person who he thinks I am, and that his attempts to constantly want to hang out with me make me dread life more and more every day while at the same time flatter me. What do I do? How do people handle this? Is anyone as psychotic as me? Am I alone? I don't want to hurt him? Why can't we just be friends? Or how can I make him understand that if he wants anything to do with me he'll have to be okay with me acting like humans don't exist for weeks at a time and then do for a little while until they don't again? 

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Hello Skittle,

I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I had some real advice for you, but in truth I really have no idea. I'm pretty much an introvert who stays quiet in public too. However, I have random moments of boldness? courage? extrovertness? that makes me seem like I am more open and confident and outgoing than I really am. I tend to avoid those who may like me like the plague, too and if it doesn't work, I say no so that way I don't burden them and they can find someone better than me..

I know it's not quite the same, but I think I know a little of what you're feeling. I would like to think that you are strong enough to either accept the invitation to go out or if you're not ready, explain to him gently that you aren't looking or something right now. If this guy is really nice and you know him, maybe you could be a little more detailed. I don't know..I'll be sending good thoughts your way..

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im the same way as you I can be very talkative and outgoing but I get tired of talking and want to be alone eventually way more then most people. I had the same problem when I was dating. I did not know how to explain to her that I would like to be alone for a day or two and not deal with people I don't care about having a social circle I honestly only have enough energy for a significant other, other wise I like to be on my own, I would want to **** myself If i was obligated to hang out with people all day.

I met the girl on okcupid I put on my profile that im a independent person and like to do my own thing and don't need loads of friends to make me happy. It didn't work out because I had other things i was focusing on in my life,but thats what I would tell him in your position and if he doesn't accept it just tell him it won't work out if he won't respect your space and what you want to do in your free time. i feel smothered by people very easily, so I feel your pain.

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