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Thanos

Nobody wants to even touch me

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I am getting past the point of wanting to hurt myself. I haven't been touched in years. I have so little self esteem that I haven't even tried to find someone to go out with, mainly because I know that I need to be held so badly that I know I would just come across as creepy and needy. Just being diagnosed as having Asperger's doesn't help at all either. I have a very hard time reading emotions and connecting with people in the first place. Maybe I should just **** myself cause I will never find someone that can put up with my difficulties.

Another issue I have is that I cannot stand seeing all the pictures of people I know who have that someone. I get told to not worry about it so much cause even they aren't happy all the time. To which I reply "at least they are happy most of the time and they have someone."

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I have a mild form of prosopagnosia which makes it difficult to read people's emotions and it's definitely hurt my social life, can't even imagine how challenging it must be with Aspergers.

It's not impossible to find someone though, I've known women who dated guys with Aspergers. It just takes someone really understanding who doesn't get offended easily but they're out there. While there aren't any guarantees, just try to keep working on yourself and maybe someday you'll find someone. Even if you don't, you can still have a meaningful life without a relationship. 

Never being touched is obviously difficult as it's a basic human need but there are services that cater to this need. I've resorted to occasionally hiring escorts, most of the time I'll just cuddle and talk which is way more important to me than sex. It's not unusual either, they will tell you that they get many guys who visit them for their emotional needs rather than sex. I've also seen a documentary about professional cuddlers though they may not be as readily available. 

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The advice you were given was correct, regarding happiness.  Don't believe for one minute that everybody that is in a relationship is happier than you are.  One of the worst aspects of social media is that people make everything look positive in their pictures and postings, when very often nothing could be further from the truth. If they're that happy, they wouldn't need to advertise it.   Everybody has problems, there's no exceptions, and many of those whom you think are happy probably aren't..  

 

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4 hours ago, Lumen said:

The advice you were given was correct, regarding happiness.  Don't believe for one minute that everybody that is in a relationship is happier than you are.  One of the worst aspects of social media is that people make everything look positive in their pictures and postings, when very often nothing could be further from the truth. If they're that happy, they wouldn't need to advertise it.   Everybody has problems, there's no exceptions, and many of those whom you think are happy probably aren't..  

 

I realize that but my thoughts immediately go to "well I know they aren't always happy but they have at least moments of happiness". I've never been all that happy unless I am in a relationship. In fact they provide me with a great distraction from how my life is. However I have never been able to really connect with anyone. It has been years since I struck up a conversation with anybody. That just makes me feel even worse.

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I would say get off social media, or stop going on it as much for one. I had to do this as it depressed me for various reasons despite being in a supporting happy relationship.

How do you feel about pets? I know it may sound silly,but in the time being having a cat or dog to cuddle with and just get that Oxytocin-releasing physical touch will go a long way. I was single for a very, very long time. I was able to feed off the desire for touch because I always had my cats. While it is an unfortunate stereotype, there is some truth to the crazy cat lady thing. Animals do help relieve stress. Pets are not a replacement nor can they be a replacement of a human partner, but in the meantime they can help you cope while getting to know others and working your way towards that point where physical touch is normal.

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3 hours ago, Chubbybunny89 said:

I would say get off social media, or stop going on it as much for one. I had to do this as it depressed me for various reasons despite being in a supporting happy relationship.

How do you feel about pets? I know it may sound silly,but in the time being having a cat or dog to cuddle with and just get that Oxytocin-releasing physical touch will go a long way. I was single for a very, very long time. I was able to feed off the desire for touch because I always had my cats. While it is an unfortunate stereotype, there is some truth to the crazy cat lady thing. Animals do help relieve stress. Pets are not a replacement nor can they be a replacement of a human partner, but in the meantime they can help you cope while getting to know others and working your way towards that point where physical touch is normal.

I live at home and we have no fence around our yard. Wanted to get a dog for a long time but always get shot down for that reason (no fence).

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Well cats are even better(in my opinion). They are more hands off, don't require as much ,but give the same rewards of affection. If you are allergic or dislike them, small mammals like guinea pigs work too. Guinea pigs are delightful.

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On 1/4/2017 at 7:16 AM, Lumen said:

The advice you were given was correct, regarding happiness.  Don't believe for one minute that everybody that is in a relationship is happier than you are.  One of the worst aspects of social media is that people make everything look positive in their pictures and postings, when very often nothing could be further from the truth. If they're that happy, they wouldn't need to advertise it.   Everybody has problems, there's no exceptions, and many of those whom you think are happy probably aren't..  

 

My issue is that I am deathly afraid of talking to anyone i don't already know. And I am quickly running out of people that i know.

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On 1/4/2017 at 7:32 AM, Thanos said:
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I am getting past the point of wanting to hurt myself. I haven't been touched in years. I have so little self esteem that I haven't even tried to find someone to go out with, mainly because I know that I need to be held so badly that I know I would just come across as creepy and needy. Just being diagnosed as having Asperger's doesn't help at all either. I have a very hard time reading emotions and connecting with people in the first place. Maybe I should just **** myself cause I will never find someone that can put up with my difficulties.

Another issue I have is that I cannot stand seeing all the pictures of people I know who have that someone. I get told to not worry about it so much cause even they aren't happy all the time. To which I reply "at least they are happy most of the time and they have someone."

not everyone who has someone is happy most of the time ....a lot of people are in relationships and they are suffering....

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hell my wife hasnt touch me in years, shes one of my major triggers, and i actually feel more alone when im around her than i do if im actually alone

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Thanos I can relate to the loneliness you feel.  I have a spouse and there are times of isolation and not feeling closeness and it hurts even when you do have someone.  I wanted to respond to your comment about maybe you should XXX yourself because you will never find someone to put up with your difficulties.  Your giving society too much credit as though everyone else out there is normal.  I am middle aged and have been around the block and i've got to tell ya the majority of folks out there have difficulties and issues - trust me.  Chin up friend.. you are worth it and there is someone out there to love and fulfill you!

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