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Narcissistic Personality Disorder


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I have been struggling for a long time to understand my husband.  Nothing new for most wives, lol and husbands too.  However, I knew there was something wrong.  I am not sure where it originated from but it is definitely an issue.

He is very smart, thinks he is always right (and mostly is, but not always) has an incredible memory.  He hears something that interests him and will remember it years from now, in detail.  He also has an anger problem.  It comes out of nowhere and is alarming.  This is not all the time.  When he is not angry, he is charming, funny and a good guy.  He is like Dr. Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde.  I thought Narcissism was just an inflated sense of self to an exaggerated degree.  But now I found out that it also has a rage factor that goes along with it.  I came across a site today which explained a lot.  It is http://www.ahalmaas.com  I have just started to read it, but it hit the nail on the head.  I am hoping it will help me in dealing with him.

Do you have someone you know close to you with this problem and if so, please share. 

Edited by gentle sun
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Good topic. All I do know is that you have a lot to confront. And confronting a narcissist doesn't work. They won't give in nor admit but try this as a first step--

Check Their Willingness to Change: This one might seem obvious, but it’s crucial enough that it bears mentioning. The easiest way to test a partner’s capacity to change is to seek help from a couples therapist — or any therapist for that matter. Even people who aren’t narcissists can be leery of therapy, so this one shouldn’t be considered a litmus test. If your partner’s willing to work with you, though, your odds at improving the relationship have probably jumped by an order of magnitude.

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On 11/13/2016 at 2:57 PM, lonelyforeigner said:

Never had a narcissistic partner but some close friends. I learned to not disagree with them, it's just not worth it because you can't win an argument. Distancing myself emotionally and just enjoying the good times was the key. Of course this is a lot more difficult if the person is your significant other... 

 

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Absolutely.  I think I am just learning that (dont disagree with them).  I couldnt help but think well, i have a different opinion and we could talk about both sides, have an interesting back and forth debate.  No.  The thing I learned was whenever you disagree, they think you are insulting them, putting them down, disapproving.  Its not that at all, but he cannot see that.  Goes back to how he was raised.  Praised a lot when he did good (causing narcissim), but if he failed or was wrong, they were cruel.

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On 11/13/2016 at 3:09 PM, DustyRoad said:

Good topic. All I do know is that you have a lot to confront. And confronting a narcissist doesn't work. They won't give in nor admit but try this as a first step--

Check Their Willingness to Change: This one might seem obvious, but it’s crucial enough that it bears mentioning. The easiest way to test a partner’s capacity to change is to seek help from a couples therapist — or any therapist for that matter. Even people who aren’t narcissists can be leery of therapy, so this one shouldn’t be considered a litmus test. If your partner’s willing to work with you, though, your odds at improving the relationship have probably jumped by an order of magnitude.

Yeah, I dont think he can change.  It seems to be an automatic response.  Sometimes if I say, thats interesting, I never thought it that way, I see what you are saying.  Then humbly say I thought maybe blahblahblah and he will be kind then and say something like I used to think that too, but...  Oh man, I see Donald Trump in my husband so much!  They are really quite sensitive too.

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