glfinding Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Riddled with ridicule, my face and my home, Something to someone I make to my own, Warm to the heart, far from my facade, Something to someone the words that I made. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 More of my recent depression- and anxiety-laden paintings. https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9237-mvimg_20180513_203424~2jpg/ https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9236-img_20180523_211332jpg/ https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9235-img_20180525_225859jpg/ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 Oh, for want of a bitter winter Barren and carpeted with snow And aching to give icy clarity To this bitter winter. Oh, for want of a thunderstorm To wash away the conceit And give unrepentant encouragement To this thunderstorm. Oh, for want of an infinite heartbreak To ease a troubled mind And satiate a pained heart's need For this heartbreak. Oh, for want of a tragedy Longing for a reason An explanation For this tragedy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha1 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Fun You still don't see do you? You only see red But I don't bleed that way, it's true Instead it's fat and flesh You will though Maybe it will be too late And then you'll know YOU sealed my fate Are we having fun yet? Slivers from your eyes Invisible silence Stabbing my blue skies Causing my defiance The physical pain Just to sit down Keeps me sane As I drown Fun, eh? Black holes of starvation Consume me for my life They swallow me and when done Eat me from inside My muscles shrink My organs dilapidate All I can do is think Just think and wait to see your face...that will be fun. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Fire https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9238-img_20180603_214726jpg/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillStandinTall Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 @velvetpuddles My fav is the dandelion one - like your post the other day of feeling like one. very Van Gogh'ish My second place is the dresser. Super cool. Kinda reminds me of the Grinch. you are very talented. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 10 hours ago, StillStandinTall said: @velvetpuddles My fav is the dandelion one - like your post the other day of feeling like one. very Van Gogh'ish My second place is the dresser. Super cool. Kinda reminds me of the Grinch. you are very talented. Thanks! I made the dandelion one for my mother as payment for a bike she randomly sent to me. Purposefully made it brighter and more cheerful for her; I seem to use darker colors more naturally. Anyway, I appreciate it! It's a hobby...fills my boring and dreary evenings and keeps me distracted, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wewstar Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 hold on, they say but there are no hands to hold stay strong, they say but my heart can’t take move on, they say why can’t they see that I’m trying stay, they say please, let me go 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 On 5/31/2018 at 8:36 PM, velvetpuddles said: More of my recent depression- and anxiety-laden paintings. https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9237-mvimg_20180513_203424~2jpg/ https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9236-img_20180523_211332jpg/ https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/image/9235-img_20180525_225859jpg/ Holy hell. Those are quite nice. Recently finished a sleeve on my arm of water waves on a beach. I should take a pic really resembles that first one hah. But I friggin dig that red one. Its ****in speakin to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Perishing my minutes for promenade, Made the slaves of time into miracles, For death is where thy life be weighed, The day my fanatism was not in favor, I have been trying to remember when, The things before me, the trillion years, Do you fear you'll dissapear into that? Made from stars, descendant darkness. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4amRedLight Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 It's been a long time, friends. This one is for my ex. She is married now and I'm happy she has someone who loves her. Time doesn't heal wounds. Only love can heal pain. I may not have gone through abuse as you have, but I ran through rain. So, I needed too what you needed from me and I gave what I had, though we needed more I looked in you, but I saw myself and I turned away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4amRedLight Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 We were wet, huddled together for warmth, both yearning to be next to a blazing fire. But we had each other. Until I let go. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 10 hours ago, glfinding said: Holy hell. Those are quite nice. Recently finished a sleeve on my arm of water waves on a beach. I should take a pic really resembles that first one hah. But I friggin dig that red one. Its ****in speakin to me. Yeah, I'd love to see! Sounds like an awesome tattoo! Thanks! You zeroed in on my favorite two! The red one is actually the same painting I posted a while back. Something about it just bothered me. That one is so special to me now; I'd had that canvas half painted for years and it caused me so much grief and angst; then it just clicked one day when I couldn't stop staring at it, lol! I appreciate the feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 The last person i dated was a painter. She was talented. At the time she was everything to me. Was a devastating loss. Took a long time to heal. Anyways she gave me a painting for a bday once. After a couple years of healing i took it out of my closet and painted over it. Felt terrific. Like shedding my skin. Hello 4 am :). Im still here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 2 hours ago, glfinding said: The last person i dated was a painter. She was talented. At the time she was everything to me. Was a devastating loss. Took a long time to heal. Anyways she gave me a painting for a bday once. After a couple years of healing i took it out of my closet and painted over it. Felt terrific. Like shedding my skin. Hello 4 am :). Im still here. That must've been amazing to do! Even makes me a little jealous that I don't have anything like that from passed loves to repurpose! I suppose I could paint on photos... that might actually be pretty cool. Do you still have that painting? I'd never let it go...as a reminder of your ability to move on and transform, no pain needs to be permanently debilitating, that sort of thing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 I would lead this into a beginning, Demonstration of ancient antiquity, But the moment grows evermore, A constant struggle of my humility, As I pass the hand that grasps me a plan, As I make my marks of glyphs and lines, I arrive to question the creation's demand, The pen is to never keep up with the times, 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SugaredSloth Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I know you I have wandered your dreams and remember The taste of metal and dust I often found Pressed between my lips upon waking You, in turn, have stood where I now stand At the edge of time's cruel blade Restless for wings that refuse to grow Hungry for a change that cannot be hurried I know you I met you in passing each time I charged Wildly into life's grand maze, only to lose myself A little more at each wrong turn and dead end I heard your voice from every dark corner Screams that could not have been dreamt Your cries of pain gave me courage to press on Through nightmarish scenes of my own I know you I have breathed your air and felt the stirring Of a heart trapped by ice, which melts into tearful floods Then freezes again, thicker than before We have forged a bond in the fires of torment Whose flames consume from within and never surface Leaving no trace for the critical eyes of others I know you We are the same, we soldiers whose souls Shine brighter for the darkness we call home 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 Branches curled, clenched, Crescent moon carvings. Anemic, arthritic sapling Paralyzed by starlight. Penitent, relentless thunder, Lightning upon my thigh. My shin. My tender, leaden flesh. My own Everest surges Between the fitful, drenching blows. A weathered, soaring mount, The Holy Mother of mayhem. Tempest blown plum leaves Stain a cabernet painted tarn. Scars of the night-born storm That the delicate trees could not stand. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 (I just found this, I don't even remember writing it. It's being posted with limited edits.) there’s a part of me that will never belong to you i keep it even from myself it hides in the shadows of my self it never makes a sound although sometimes it screams so loud it never sees the sunlight but for some reason it just won’t die even though i wish it would even though i wish i could pretend it doesn’t exist because then i could pretend to be happy then i could believe the lies i tell myself and everything would be so much more simple but that’s not how life works nothing is ever simple life is suffering and longing for things you can’t have and don’t even deserve why do i get up in the morning what is my purpose would if matter if i died? could that be any worse than how i’m feeling there’s a part of me that’s dark and cold unredeemable and bitter and frail and i would never trust you with it because i’ve learned that trusting never works out and i’ve learned that hoping is an exercise in frustration and that wanting to be more takes more boldness than i possess and i wish i could purge myself of wanting, of needing and of hoping i wish i could feel nothing at all if it meant never feeling this and that I could burn away the parts that should never be seen the parts that seep out when i’m too tired to fight them maybe none of this is about you maybe everything is about me everything in the world there is nothing else but me i am my universe i am my own death i cut myself on the inside because no one else can see the bleeding but sometimes i wish you could but i know i would never let that happen. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) Wow really like these. Sugar and velvet both have great flow and imagery. Is that how you spell that? Prolly not. Eva really hits the nail on the head on how depression can feel. Edited July 8, 2018 by glfinding 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 By the skin of our bodies, We penatrate what we pronounce, Illusion to our lack of recognition, I see the blood leave without me, The set of lights become symphony, Searching this surgical suggestion, And perhaps this is a physical precense, For the spirit to wander into the sky, Let us sway to the breeze, Dawning onto our faceless planet, I direct my attention to standards, Planting myself worthy of a universe, Have been trying to write something on the subject of virtual reality. Have been on ps4 vr pretty hard for a few months. Interesting how it makes me feel. Simply, it is quite amazing. It could be used boundlessly. Maybe tech isnt there yet. But the way it challenges you to rethink, is what interests me. Basically im a pro, i own top 20 scores in all sneaky bears lvls, i cant complete a round in farpoint everyone quits, look up a game called polybius ask me if how i completed whole run yolo. I am def immersed. Real world almost completly dead to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 (edited) On 7/8/2018 at 3:34 PM, glfinding said: By the skin of our bodies, We penatrate what we pronounce, Illusion to our lack of recognition, I see the blood leave without me, The set of lights become symphony, Searching this surgical suggestion, And perhaps this is a physical precense, For the spirit to wander into the sky, Let us sway to the breeze, Dawning onto our faceless planet, I direct my attention to standards, Planting myself worthy of a universe, I could grow into this mutation of senses, Based upon historic and current events, Will the feathers from your wings flutter? Stretched from cloud to cloud again? This place lacks the permanence I require, My desire to destroy any hope of succession, I place on the top, a special human, Alone inside groups, cradled civilation, It is like my curosity of the moon, But the oxygen outside our atmosphere, Grants me the passage of a corpse, In front of my gravity without a grasp, The tears they weap for another defeat, Music to the ears of mine in my design, I think we want to hurt eachother, Only because we hate ourselves, Regardless of the romantic symantics, I have been born many times for this, And all roads to here, the virtual weaponery, Isolated by the very violence we witness, Never is easy, probably anyways, My task provides daunting expectation, Finish first before the world, Without you breathing next to me. Edited July 11, 2018 by glfinding 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 @glfinding I just love how you write! Beautiful word choices. 7 hours ago, glfinding said: It is like my curosity of the moon, But the oxygen outside our atmosphere, Grants me the passage of a corpse, In front of my gravity without a grasp, 7 hours ago, glfinding said: Finish first before the world, Without you breathing next to me. I love these two passages! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glfinding Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) Appreciate it velvet. Posted up on other forum. Was not recieved well. I was kinda upset. But i get it. I sound crazy. Maybe one day i will write something happy. Edited July 14, 2018 by glfinding 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Helios The oppressive weight like a feather in the wind. Hopelessly loaded In the core, In the depths Of a dream. Waking up under a Sky with a sleeping moon And hazy air The heavy dampness Suffocating, Starving A stifled breath. Tell me, tattoed sun - Can you clear the fog. To the calloused hand reaching into the ether For a forest of lust - Can you grasp The feeling of falling. Can you hold in your fingers The fragility of a star That shattered into ash And surrendered to the night. The frayed plume That tumbled And caved to the ennui. The Icelus wants you. The darkness needs you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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