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I was harassed by a complete stranger????


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I was out for the day with my partner, we were having a lovely day and decided to go for dinner, we are both 23 and work hard everyday and like to treat ourselves once a week if we can, we were enjoying our meal and each other's company when a woman about mid 30s comes in with 5 children. I am not one to judge so didn't take much notice of them as they sat at the table next to us. Firstly her children kept walking up in front of us staring at us as we were trying to have our meal. I just smiled at the kids as they were between the ages of 7-11. As we were nearing the end of our meal she said in a loud voice so that we could hear "God they didn't leave much behind them" I knew it was about us as there was only one more elderly man in the restaurant. I tried to ignore the comment and avoided any eye contact with the woman then she said "well that explains why she is the size she is" now I am not a thin petit girl and have always struggled with my weight but I am not overly obese as I eat well all week to enjoy a treat at the weekends. Again I ignored her comment and she then said "why is he with her he's way to good for her" at this stage I started to well up but would not let her see that, she continued commenting about my weight and my appearance, I had treated myself to some new clothes so had felt good going out so this really knocked me, I was shocked that someone would actually do this to another person in public that they have never met in there life. I was also shocked that she did that in front of her kids thinking that it was acceptable behaviour. Since then I cannot get the comments out of my mind, I am still in shock that it actually happened and it has brought my depression and anxiety to a stage that I can't leave the house, I am also gone so paranoid that everyone is judging me. I grew up being bullied in both school and college, I had finally thought it was over until now. I can't seem to come to terms with it, it has ruined any progress I thought I had made with my own self confidence. Has anyone delt with anything like this before? I would love to just have someone to talk to about this and any advice on how to deal with it would be very much appreciated.

thanks

fighter92 xoxo

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am sorry. Fat-shaming is very common. I notice it as someone who has lost a lot of weight. In high school I weighted 205 (I am a 5 foot 4 girl). I have since gone down to 170, want to lose more to my goal of 150. I notice I get less dirty looks from people and everyone is a lot NICER to me. I don't get fat jokes as much anymore. 

I am happy about weight loss except for the fact I am the SAME PERSON and it isn't fair I got those dirty looks 35 pounds ago.

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Hello Fighter92, I really wish that you would not let this woman's comments get to you. There are ignorant, insensitive life forms like her around every corner. The good news is the majority of people are accepting and good hearted. Most people are not going to judge you in any way. I really feel sorry for that woman because when people talk like this it just means that they have major problems themselves. You should not care what people like this have to say so please don't let it make you homebound and more depressed.I don't know you but I can guess that your a loving and kind person that just happened to come across with one of these lower life forms...Be good to yourself...

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That was awful and totally out of line. Sometimes, people get so bogged down by their own stress and insecurities so they take it out on others. Take her comments as a reflection of her own shortcomings, not your own. Everyone has value and they shouldn't make you feel lesser because of what they consider "beautiful." You are beautiful. I know it's hard, but try not to get down about those comments. Hope you have a great day! 

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  • 2 months later...

I have had it to me too. I've always been bigger. I was fat shamed and bullied for my weight at school.

Few years ago when I was about 19 I was walking home and some guys about early twenties come past and one shouted out something that sounded like "fattttttty" or something nasty weight wise and stuck out his head. I was not obese as I am now at this point. I was about 10-15 kgs overweight. It was really upsetting. Another time I was walking and some guys came hooning and said something again. Possibly same guys. It did hurt me. I've had girls a few years younger than me (me walking home) spit my way. As a way of saying 'you are filth'. I can relate so much to how you feel. I've been there

Edited by InsideABubble
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