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nighttime terror


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Anyone else has experienced dramatic mental state changes when the night comes? It doesn't happen to me all the time, but occasionally, when I'm in poor control of my head, it happens and it's terrible. I don't even know how to describe it. It is like the night belongs to a completely different realm, and everything is like a nightmare. The darkness, but most of all the atmosphere, is so different from daytime, and it makes me terrified--not of the night itself but of something else. Over the years I've found this really hard to describe to family and therapists. They all ask me what is different about the night and what I'm scared of, but I can't describe it accurately with words. Usually I'm okay during the day, when the sun is up, but when the night comes everything just escalates and becomes much worse. Sometimes I have to stay up and count the hours, or try to sleep as little as possible at night and make it up during the day. That's the only way to keep it under control--to keep the lights on and do things like it's still daytime.

I just want to know if anyone else has this experience? It's very frustrating how I can't make other people, especially my p and t, understand. When I wave my arms up and down and try to say something like "the night just FEELS different, like a different world," even I can hear how ridiculous it sounds. It frustrates me that I don't know the words to describe a panic state. How do you talk to people about it? Or maybe you can't?

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