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kaymichele01

I just really need some advice on my boyfriend.

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I've been with my boyfriend for 5, almost 6 years now. When we first started dating and even the first few years, things were great. He supported all my crazy ups and downs dealing with my anxiety and depression and was so supportive. I finally got on medication and I've been on the uphill since. However, things changed about 2 years ago when one of my roommates moved out and he was kind of put in the situation of moving in with us to help pick up the slack. I didn't force or ask him to but I guess he felt it was necessary because we needed the help.

Anyway, long story short, it completely tore us apart. We fought all the time over money and being broke all the time and I know that even though he never said it, he blamed me for the problems he had/still sort of has. He moved out over a year ago and we took a small break from one another. Now, he stays with me on the weekends and a night here and there during the week some, but the person he is now is just not who I used to know. I know people grow and change but I just don't know what to do anymore. His parents also divorced about 2 years ago as well so I know it was a lot to take in for him and I think they he became depressed from it all. I've told him that multiple times but he refuses to see a doctor or get help. I can't force him but I know he needs it. He also has OCD than never appeared until the past 2 years or so. He's so negative and literally doesn't like anything anymore. He refuses to talk about anything that may open wounds and bottles everything inside. Some days I want to leave and others I think  I can stick it out. It changes daily. It's starting to make me feel like my depression is coming back because I feel so stuck. I need some advice, guys.

 

Oh, I should also add that our sex life has taken a horrible turn as well. I know me being on Lexapro had affected it greatly, but I just never want to have sex with him anymore. I still get aroused but just not  by him. :tear2:

Edited by kaymichele01

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Hi, 

I can understand you are in a horrible situation. I can get a feel of that from reading your post. Take my advice with a pinch of salt as in the end, only you yourself can decide for yourself. Also, I am not very good in the relationship game as I have never been in one myself. So here goes:

OCD and depression are linked, as was my case (I have recovered or so like to think, recemtly) As my depression has come down, I can say so has my OCD. 

Treatment is a must, and so is seeing a psychiatrist. It cannot go away by itself. He must do it. It is a mental condition, that is how it is. 

One more thing concerning me is that you yourself are a patient, so this complicates things. Just imagine, what good will you be to him if you fall sick yourself?

Toxic relationships are the root cause of depression, as so was my case. Dont let it destroy you. Nothing is above your mental health.

Hopefully, everything will workout well for you!

Let me know if you need any further clarification/help

 

 

 

 

 

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hi kay,

welcome to DF! we are a family here so dont be afraid to talk openly ok hun?

now... depression can be really harsh on relationships.. and when someone is dealing with there own demons and trying to support someone elses it can take a real toll on the person... unfortunately that is the nature of the beast.

the best advice i can say to you is ask your self.. do you want to try and make things work with your boyfriend? what are you willing to do to make them work? unfortunately in this case you can not force him to seek out help.. but you can be there for him and try as much as you can to be the help he needs.

its a really s***ty end of the stick... i know i was there myself.. but the best thing like i said you can do... is ask your self what do you want what will it take to get there... and reevaluate the relationship... :( i wish you the best of luck my friend! dont be afraid to join us in chat and talk to us :D we are there just give us a moment to respond some of us are at work :D

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