I Don't See A Future For Myself

[Doommantia]

I lost my job in January due to layoffs and since then Ive been out of work, I cant find anything. I apply to anything that I feel I'm suited to (menial, dead end, minimum wage jobs because I dont hold any skills of any significance). I'm 28 now and I have nothing to show for it. All my friends are off doing cool things and getting married, buying houses and having children and I'm still stuck in my teenage years mentally. Im a disgrace. Ive thought about ending my life, and as its seems like my only good option I cant do that to my mother. 

I dont think life is for me, nothing good ever comes my way despite trying. I am the very definition of what people think of when they think of a "loser". 

 

Had to vent this Im sorry

[Animalier]

Have you considered school? You would have to choose a degree very carefully, but you could find something that a depressed/other medical disorders could do. I just made a terrible mistake doing this, but now I am thinking of going back and changing my major.

Obviously, I don't know what your circumstances are, but there are also businesses that you can start that pay decently and do not put you into the "poverty-job" category.

Edited September 8, 2016 by Animalier

[Concerned16]

Also try a vocational rehabilitation service in your area. They help people with any type of disability (mental or physical) to get back into the work force and could possible help place you in a job. They can also work with you to obtain some skills for a different type of job. Maybe a trade...something that you do not need 4 years of education for.  Do not give up. You are still so young. It is so easy to give up and die.....and don' t be concerned with what everyone else is doing. Everyone's life takes different paths. You may also look at someone you know that you think is in a better situation than you and may not be happy at all. We all put on our happy face on the outside. 

Also, maybe until you find something think of something that you might enjoy and volunteer doing it. If you like animals maybe at an animal shelter. You never know who you might meet along the way. Please don't give up. 

 

[Fenris89]

You almost described my life with this post. Sorry I have no advice, I'm lost as well.

[Epictetus]

Hi Doommantia,

          I'm so sorry you are suffering!  Tendinitis in both hands prevents me from typing for long, but I just want to say that I do not see you as a 'loser'.  I see you as a hero.   The feeling of being a "loser" is the hallmark of depression and depression is one of the worst illnesses that can strike a human being.  Part of the brutality of this illness is that it often precedes the factors which seem to cause it.  A person can think that as a result of making certain mistakes in life that they suffer depression as a consequence.  But pre-clinical depression can often precede such "mistakes." 

     Those afflicted with depression are in a class by themselves and cannot be compared to those never stricken with this brutal illness.  What might be expected of someone not afflicted with depression cannot be expected of someone who has been stricken.  Coping with the debilitating and paralyzing nature of depression can show a goodness, a strength and courage, a wisdom and even a heroism that those who don't cope with it could never understand.  That is why I do not believe that someone like you could ever be "summed up" in a word like "loser."  Such a label does a grave injustice to you and to truth itself.  I wish I could write more, but the pain in my hands is too intense.  My heart goes out to you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Stand tall. You deserve it!

    

Edited September 8, 2016 by Epictetus

[BlackEyedDog]

It might be the case that your friends who have the house, the wife, and kids might be looking at someone who is in your position who doesn't have all that responsibility and stress as being lucky. Some would say you are lucky that you don't have to deal with annoying kids and a nagging wife. Think about it, your friends who have the wife and kids can't even sleep in and you can. Right now you could do whatever you want without having the hindrance of kids holding you down or a wife telling you can't do that. Currently, you don't have to answer to anyone and that right there sounds like freedom, which is awesome.  

[gandolfication]

3 hours ago, Doommantia said:

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I lost my job in January due to layoffs and since then Ive been out of work, I cant find anything. I apply to anything that I feel I'm suited to (menial, dead end, minimum wage jobs because I dont hold any skills of any significance). I'm 28 now and I have nothing to show for it. All my friends are off doing cool things and getting married, buying houses and having children and I'm still stuck in my teenage years mentally. Im a disgrace. Ive thought about ending my life, and as its seems like my only good option I cant do that to my mother. 

I dont think life is for me, nothing good ever comes my way despite trying. I am the very definition of what people think of when they think of a "loser". 

 

Had to vent this Im sorry

 

Doommantia,

Good post. So many of us here can relate.

I'm 39, and I feel the same way for pretty similar circumstances (except I have 3 kids and a wife who stays home and takes care of them).  I HATE my sales job(s) I've had one after another for years, after I stopped being able to practice law due to ... I dont' know...stress/mental block/depression.

I don't want to go on an on, but do want to say the following.

Part of depression is circumstantial.  It would be kind of weird if you were feeling great after the layoff and the frustration it can be to find a new job.  I'm an executive recruiter these days, and I'd be glad to dialogue on PM's regarding any more specific career tips if they may be useful.

 

But you're 28.  You will find another job, it only feels like it's taking forever right now.

Life is not over.  We have a tendency to compare our insides to others outsides.  Everyone bears some kind of cross is part of what I'm saying.

There are a lot of good things, times and experiences still to come.  Believe it.

cheers for now.

-g

[stewartmays1]

i can relate to your situation i have been out of work for 15 years now and yes i have wanted to end my life many times but im still here fighting on just try to stay active it can help your depression and mood a lot some times and keep applying for jobs in your area

[Doommantia]

Thanks for taking the time to read and for the advice and words of wisdom. 

[GrungeGrrl]

I'm 27 now and am in the same boat as you.

I don't have any college done nor have a job.

I got fired from my job probably 7 or so months ago. I only worked there barely 3 weeks.

I live with my parents and got nothing to show of any kind of achievement. I'm a true embarrassment to my family. 

I can care less about anyone else who has it better than me. I really don't care.

Everyone that I've know who had good jobs/career where jerks to me and made me feel like I was worthless person. Like I was a piece of garbage. 

I have always treated everyone as a human being.

 

[gandolfication]

2 hours ago, GrungeGrrl said:

I'm 27 now and am in the same boat as you.

I don't have any college done nor have a job.

I got fired from my job probably 7 or so months ago. I only worked there barely 3 weeks.

I live with my parents and got nothing to show of any kind of achievement. I'm a true embarrassment to my family. 

I can care less about anyone else who has it better than me. I really don't care.

Everyone that I've know who had good jobs/career where jerks to me and made me feel like I was worthless person. Like I was a piece of garbage. 

I have always treated everyone as a human being.

 

This is heartbreaking to read. It is the worst thing about capitalism and one of the worst things about this world's system. 

 

It is also largely an illusion. No one ever was or ever will be valuable or worthwhile based upon their job or what they do. They're simply two different things. I utterly detest people who look down on or mistreat others based status.  I've had high status at am early age and lost a good bot of it (in my mind, all of it).   It's vanity. 

All that matters is love and happiness.  Status can help accrue this or it can make it harder.

I know this doesn't help the pain you're experiencing. But I just want to tell you that it doesn't matter what these other people think IF it is based on status. Sometimes this is mostly in our minds and what we project. Of not, try to discard it as yesterday's useless news. It is nothing. Your worh always was and always will be based on the fact that you are a unique human being the likes of which there has not ever before been and will never be again on this earth or any other.  

[gandolfication]

Sorry for the types from my phone

[Corbin]

I know it sounds simple but get another job. No matter how hard it is, keep going. The world you desire can be won. It just takes effort and patience in order to win it.

[gandolfication]

On 9/8/2016 at 5:17 PM, stewartmays1 said:

i can relate to your situation i have been out of work for 15 years now and yes i have wanted to end my life many times but im still here fighting on just try to stay active it can help your depression and mood a lot some times and keep applying for jobs in your area

(this as meant in response to Corbin's comment)

Thank you.  I believe this, although I second guess it all the time (there is a temptation to think as some therapy and literature would suggest, that it isn't the job, but merely my attitude, lack of acceptance, etc., that every job has unappealing aspects, as is surely true).  But when so much of my desperation and feeling sh*tty about myself is directly tied to hating what I do and hating myself for not being able to make myself do it, it seems blindingly obvious to try to change what  do.  I don't expect this to cure depression or solve most of my problems, but just the hope that things could potentially be even somewhat better - that I could feel somewhat good again about what I spend my time doing, seems worth working toward though.

Edited September 22, 2016 by gandolfication
correction

[gandolfication]

55 minutes ago, Corbin said:

I know it sounds simple but get another job. No matter how hard it is, keep going. The world you desire can be won. It just takes effort and patience in order to win it.

Thank you.  I believe this, although I second guess it all the time (there is a temptation to think as some therapy and literature would suggest, that it isn't the job, but merely my attitude, lack of acceptance, etc., that every job has unappealing aspects, as is surely true).  But when so much of my desperation and feeling sh*tty about myself is directly tied to hating what I do and hating myself for not being able to make myself do it, it seems blindingly obvious to try to change what  do.  I don't expect this to cure depression or solve most of my problems, but just the hope that things could potentially be even somewhat better - that I could feel somewhat good again about what I spend my time doing, seems worth working toward though.