Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I know I am just a random guy on the internet but I don't have anyone I can talk to so whatever. 

I have crippling social anxiety and am obsessed with if I am doing the right thing or the wrong thing in social situations. I am deaf and have a speech impediment. People automatically assume I'm ******** and disregard me as someone who can contribute to society due to this. I always assume people are talking about me and I feel like people are very judgmental and critical of me. I spent a lot of time in isolation and avoiding people. I used to be terrified of any social situation because I would worry about what would happen and if people would mock/belittle me. I am now in university and there is a small deaf community here but it is a very small community so thus not a lot of options of who I can befriend. Women of course lose all interest when they find out I'm deaf, due it being too hard to communicate with me, and people will go out of their way to avoid me or act very irritated with me because I didn't hear something. I live my life trying to be as invisible as possible. I have been getting out recently and trying to meet people but it seems like everyone is two faced and don't give a about anything or only pretend to like me. The communication barrier exists forever for me. The world is made for people who can hear. 

I've been coping with my depression with Xanax, I've almost drank myself to death on several occasions due to not giving a **** if I die. I know my post here is worthless but I just needed to type something out to someone. It's endless: the anxiety, self hatred, and the yearning to be normal. 

Edited by Tungsten Aromatics
Drug Abuse Reference Violation of The ToS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to our forum.

Nobody is worthless here and your posts are valuable.

We all have compelling depression problems and issues.

Stick with us and stick with yourself.

We try to help each other with support and insights.

One thing I've learned is that there is no such thing as normal.

I'm sure you'll make some friends on this forum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not looking to make friends online but I just typed this after having a bad day. I shouldn't have resorted to the internet for help and I realize it was a bad idea. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's the depression kicking in feeling worthless, self hatred, paranoia, seeing the world in a negative outlook, feeling jaded and etc. 

I talking to myself as I say this... I'm only 22 and I agree that the older I become the harder it is to make friends or trust anyone. Personally I've become a lone wolf myself but even as a lone wolf that doesn't mean you don't have friends it means you see through different eyes. You become more alert and understand the difference between an "acquaintance" and a truely great friend. Yes you do have to make a sacrifice when it comes to friendships you may never know what someone is capable of but there's a key difference in a blood brother friend as I would like to call it. 

This place... there is not many places like this. The people here care and truly understand what it feels like to go through depression, anxiety, and paranoia. There is a yearning deep down inside that just wants someone else to talk to. That longing inside of your heart don't ignore it... you will feel even worse as time passes on. 

Best of thoughts and wishes to you :hugs:

I hope that you are able to overcome these hard times you're going through. Just want to give you reassuring encouragement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome. I am also new to these forums, but from what I see there are plenty of people willing to talk and help each other here.

I'm glad I found this space online. I hope you can get through whatever is going on and at least get a little relief while here.

Edited by Fenris89

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On September 6, 2016 at 11:10 PM, itsnotme said:

Not looking to make friends online but I just typed this after having a bad day. I shouldn't have resorted to the internet for help and I realize it was a bad idea. 

Please stay - you would be surprised how helpful this forum can be. I've never found such a non-judgemental place, where you can post whatever is on your mind, however negative it may be. And oftentimes, that little release, along with someone acknowledging your existence, is enough support to get through.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope you'll stay, itsnotme.

There are a lot of kind people here who are supportive.  It helps to be able to come here and vent, or interact with others who feel similarly.

Hugs to you. :console:  You're clearly going through a lot, and it sucks to have to do that alone.  Why not stay and give this place a shot?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...