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Kabuto

I Seriously Feel Totally SCREWED at the Moment

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Hi all.   I'm trying to find a job I can tolerate, one that won't make me depressed or suicidal.   I'm fine when I'm not working, but I face the eventual looming realization that I have to work.   And I don't know what on Earth I can possibly do.   I've tried therapists, career counselors, everything.   And I STILL can't help but feel so freaking screwed right now in this stupid society.

Namely, in getting a job- something that won't make me absolutely freaking miserable.

Here are some facts about me:

1.   I am introverted as holy heck.   Like super super introverted.   I love being by myself, not being around others much.   If I can make it so that I only had to interact with 3 chosen family members, a few good friends and a nice lover- and nobody else ever again, I probably would.

2.   I am free spirited as heck.   My mind is always moving, always wandering.   I love new thoughts, new insights.    I hate things that are structured, regulated. 

So I find jobs to be either too socially draining OR too regulated.   The jobs that are often introverted, appear BORING (computer scientist, factory worker, graphic designer, accountant, office worker, librarian, chemist, etc.)    And the jobs that are often extroverted that I would theoretically like (park ranger, therapist, teacher, indie book store salesclerk, etc.) are too socially draining.   Mayybee farming would work?


All I like to do is make art by myself.   

And when I have other life factors that impede my life... (sleep apnea, for example)- it sometimes feels like the situation is freaking hopeless.   :(.   

Edited by Kabuto

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I don't know why I think of farming , or vineyard working (don't wash barrels that's a grueling job),  sea urchin diving.. that stuff ca be a self employment job in Northern California. 

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I recently found a job opening for a night time cleaner at the mall. Not only would I get to work alone, but I could probably listen to podcasts all night, or music, or whatever I want. I wouldn't have to deal with people, and I suppose it wouldn't be all that structured as long as I get everything clean that I'm supposed to. I'm in a bit of the same boat, but this job sounds great to me, so maybe you could find something similar?

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3 hours ago, Kabuto said:

Ideally I'd love to find a way to live off my art, though I can't tell if I am being true to myself or just being naive.

I think it's a great idea to pursue a job/career doing something you love doing.  

What kind of art do you do, if I may ask?  Have you taken college-level art classes, or do you have any prior art-related work experience?

Although I'm retired now, I'm still interested in art and still do photography.  The good thing about "being in the arts" for me personally is that - even if I'm feeling depressed, being engaged in the creative process helps me out of my funk or endure it better.

all the best! 

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On 9/4/2016 at 3:13 AM, Turnt said:

I recently found a job opening for a night time cleaner at the mall. Not only would I get to work alone, but I could probably listen to podcasts all night, or music, or whatever I want. I wouldn't have to deal with people, and I suppose it wouldn't be all that structured as long as I get everything clean that I'm supposed to. I'm in a bit of the same boat, but this job sounds great to me, so maybe you could find something similar?

That's cool, and I certainly encourage you.   I'm not trying to downplay that or anything, but for me, wouldn't that seem....mundane?

On 9/4/2016 at 6:44 AM, blue paradise said:

I think it's a great idea to pursue a job/career doing something you love doing.  

What kind of art do you do, if I may ask?  Have you taken college-level art classes, or do you have any prior art-related work experience?

Although I'm retired now, I'm still interested in art and still do photography.  The good thing about "being in the arts" for me personally is that - even if I'm feeling depressed, being engaged in the creative process helps me out of my funk or endure it better.

all the best! 

I studied Graphic Design in college (which I find unfulfilling), but also took Studio Art classes.   Beyond that, I didn't technically go to school for it, but taught myself.   And I'm now well versed in drawing, digital art, photography, and painting.   I just don't know if/how I can monetize it all.

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7 hours ago, Kabuto said:

I studied Graphic Design in college (which I find unfulfilling), but also took Studio Art classes.   Beyond that, I didn't technically go to school for it, but taught myself.   And I'm now well versed in drawing, digital art, photography, and painting.   I just don't know if/how I can monetize it all.

That's great that you did college art course work, including studio.  When I took art classes at my Uni it really opened my eyes to the many possibilities.  There were so many opportunities presented to art students, such as group exhibitions, meeting accomplished artists, job announcements, etc.  Just being around other art students and good teachers was positive and my art grew from that experience.

As you well know, making money from ones art is very challenging.  Unless you are a Michelangelo, Rembrandt, or Ansel Adams, making a living doing art will be difficult.  But while you are building your portfolio, have you also thought about working in the art-support industry?  A few jobs come to mind, such as photo-lab assistant, photography or art supplies store clerk, framing assistant, etc. ?  

I'm social-phobic and introverted.  I didn't expect that my first job would be as CEO or prez of a company.  By chance I somehow started working in a major Uni library as a student part-timer, filing away books and checking in new items.  It was a fun job, not too demanding, quiet environment, great boss, and little interaction with people.  It helped pay the bills while going to school. 

More importantly though, that chance entry-level job began a love for working in a library/archive.  It led to my career in working at that library's photography archives.  Awesome fulfilling work and wonderful tight small group of co-workers.  I worked over 30 years in library services, and 20+ years in that photo archives before retiring.

Eventually I believe good things (including good art) come to people who keep their eyes and mind open.  I hope a fulfilling and enjoyable job comes your way.  Best of luck, Kabuto!  

Edited by blue paradise

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