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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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Yep. But most of my happy feelings are disappearing. My son has a cold and we're traveling home tomorrow. For like 10 hours, five of which are actually spent flying.

I hate traveling at holiday time. Oh well.

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11 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Same here happened to me, with my crush and friends on Christmas Day... That's why I unfriended them, IT HURTS!!!!! You need HUGS!!! :hugs:

You know, I'm at an age (47) where these kinds of things shouldn't bother me. I should let it roll off better, and I have, but I was a bit upset over it. It deflated my desire to work. So I 100% understand how you feel and it is upsetting, though unfriending people and then friending them again is not the best way to handle things, my friend. It's good to learn how to handle your upset feelings without reacting. Now I say this to myself as well!!! I can be reactive too, so I get it. (((((Hugs)))))

Edited by RiverLight

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I feel good overall, but I have to move this Spring and I need a full-time job. The pressure is on and there is mounting stress over getting another job. I've been pretty laid back about it lately, thinking that things will naturally fall into place. But now I am starting to feel the stress.....

I do have a full-time job on the table sometime in the New Year for which I am a top candidate. I need to follow up with them relatively soon to see where we are at. It's another work from home job, and that's ideally what I want. I really liked the people at the company, especially the company owner.

When I move, I want the freedom to move where I want to, and not to where I have to move because of a job. Plus, I probably will need a furnished apartment again, and those are far and few between. And some furnished places are just total crap. I could potentially buy furniture, but I don't really have the money yet for that. That's going to take a good chunk of money given my tastes.

BREATHE. I need to have faith that this will all work out.

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10 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Thanks for your kind words... But I think I should go, because my future will only be worse than this... I won't "K-I-L-L myself," I'm praying hard to Him to take me to Heaven... I am not ugly, you're right... I'm hideous!!!! :cry:

Yep it's the worst pain ever... I CAN'T FUNCTION THANKS TO THIS GUY KEEPING ME AWAKE RIGHT NOW AND HE'S FREAKING GOTH LIKE ME!!!!!!! AND HE HAS A GOTH GIRLFRIEND UGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I ALWAYS fall for taken guys or those out of my league... Every guy rejects me anyway because I should've been aborted :broken_heart: This guy will always hate me! I've blocked him on FB 3 TIMES... And his friend... They will reject my friend request now so I better leave it... I don't wanna face them when I go back to college... They'll be like:

"Hey, Baby Goth, why do you keep unfriending us all the time???"

F--k compulsions! I've JUST gotten over an a--hole engaged crush after a year. He ruined my life and got away with it...  :bomb:

So you don't need a therapist anymore? Well done on getting better and good luck with tomorrow! What's it like being in a relationship? Does it heal your soul? Does it fix all your problems? I think so! x :hugs:

 

I always fall in love with people that are married.  It seems like it's the only time I have interest in someone.  The times that people show interest in me I never have interest in them so it's very frustrating.  You're just like me though.  You just want to be loved.

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My mind keeps begging me to throw away what's left of the year and go on a binge bigger than I ever have.  Things are different now though.  It's real nice having a brain that constantly wants to destroy everything.  I can't wait until the holidays are over.  I used to enjoy the holidays.  Now I see them as some war I have to survive.

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3 hours ago, RiverLight said:

You know, I'm at an age (47) where these kinds of things shouldn't bother me. I should let it roll off better, and I have, but I was a bit upset over it. It deflated my desire to work. So I 100% understand how you feel and it is upsetting, though unfriending people and then friending them again is not the best way to handle things, my friend. It's good to learn how to handle your upset feelings without reacting. Now I say this to myself as well!!! I can be reactive too, so I get it. (((((Hugs)))))

Seriously everything you said is true! Unfriending them is not the way to go... It makes you regretful after anyway. It's completely normal for that to upset you. You are NOT immature for feeling this way, hun... Rejection, no matter what it is, always hurts x :broken_heart::hugs:

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On 12/26/2017 at 9:44 PM, salparadise6132 said:

Welcome, Mattymatt - I love the name because I call my 20 year old boy Matty!

I am glad you are here.  And I am glad you are not giving up.  There are a lot of helpful people here to help you!  

Cheers, friend!

 

 

Hi Sal. My best friends call me Matty. I did not like it at first because I thought it sounded diminuitive. It gradually grew on me. Hope your staying warm up there. Down here in Philly it's ****** cold but up there you'd be telling us we are whining. LOL

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14 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Thanks for your kind words... But I think I should go, because my future will only be worse than this... I won't "K-I-L-L myself," I'm praying hard to Him to take me to Heaven... I am not ugly, you're right... I'm hideous!!!! :cry:

Yep it's the worst pain ever... I CAN'T FUNCTION THANKS TO THIS GUY KEEPING ME AWAKE RIGHT NOW AND HE'S FREAKING GOTH LIKE ME!!!!!!! AND HE HAS A GOTH GIRLFRIEND UGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I ALWAYS fall for taken guys or those out of my league... Every guy rejects me anyway because I should've been aborted :broken_heart: This guy will always hate me! I've blocked him on FB 3 TIMES... And his friend... They will reject my friend request now so I better leave it... I don't wanna face them when I go back to college... They'll be like:

"Hey, Baby Goth, why do you keep unfriending us all the time???"

F--k compulsions! I've JUST gotten over an a--hole engaged crush after a year. He ruined my life and got away with it...  :bomb:

So you don't need a therapist anymore? Well done on getting better and good luck with tomorrow! What's it like being in a relationship? Does it heal your soul? Does it fix all your problems? I think so! x :hugs:

I don't know whether I need a therapist or not, but I haven't seen one for a few years. Whilst it's definitely true that they help many, many people I've found that discussing things makes me feel worse. 

It's difficult to say what being in a relationship is like because everyone is unique and it largely depends who you're with. Sometimes it can be wonderful and makes you blissfully happy. At other times it can be scary and makes you feel insecure. 

When, in my 20s, I'd been single for a long time and felt extremely lonely, I thought that if only I could find a girlfriend. That would solve all my problems. But sadly it doesn't quite work like that. The depression and anxiety were still there. I still had the same insecurities as before. 

I suppose it taught me that you have to be happy and content with yourself before a relationship will really work. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be happy. :hugs:x

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6 hours ago, sober4life said:

I always fall in love with people that are married.  It seems like it's the only time I have interest in someone.  The times that people show interest in me I never have interest in them so it's very frustrating.  You're just like me though.  You just want to be loved.

Same here! We then feel horrible for rejecting those who like us that we don't the same way to... The quote... 

"You always want something you cannot have" 

...is VERY true. It's freaking hard and frustrating... It's okay hun, you don't need a guy to make you feel loved. Many people enter relationships feeling unloved and stay that way... Well, that's what some people say. Don't know how though... I feel a guy would solve all my problems. It's even worse when guys say being clingy is a turn-off... Some people can't help it!!!!! x :broken_heart: 

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28 minutes ago, Natasha1 said:

Its hard to explain how i am feeling right now. No words to describe it. The main thing is i dont want to die anymore.

Is it a good or bad thing? x :console::icon12:

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2 hours ago, carukia said:

I don't know whether I need a therapist or not, but I haven't seen one for a few years. Whilst it's definitely true that they help many, many people I've found that discussing things makes me feel worse. 

It's difficult to say what being in a relationship is like because everyone is unique and it largely depends who you're with. Sometimes it can be wonderful and makes you blissfully happy. At other times it can be scary and makes you feel insecure. 

When, in my 20s, I'd been single for a long time and felt extremely lonely, I thought that if only I could find a girlfriend. That would solve all my problems. But sadly it doesn't quite work like that. The depression and anxiety were still there. I still had the same insecurities as before. 

I suppose it taught me that you have to be happy and content with yourself before a relationship will really work. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be happy. :hugs:x

It depends on the person. I used to feel the same as you and kept my feelings inside to be "strong?" That was my reason... I discovered it's not weak at all to express your emotions! As long as you don't keep them held in for a long time, you will be okay... You don't have to let them out to a person. You can release your feelings in other ways! :happy:

True... But what's it like when your crush likes you back? You must not even feel insecure anymore... It must be the best feeling in the world, honestly! :icon12: It's true that you must find the confidence in yourself to make a relationship work... The jealous partners are the insecure ones and are hard to deal with... x :hugs:

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

It depends on the person. I used to feel the same as you and kept my feelings inside to be "strong?" That was my reason... I discovered it's not weak at all to express your emotions! As long as you don't keep them held in for a long time, you will be okay... You don't have to let them out to a person. You can release your feelings in other ways! :happy:

True... But what's it like when your crush likes you back? You must not even feel insecure anymore... It must be the best feeling in the world, honestly! :icon12: It's true that you must find the confidence in yourself to make a relationship work... The jealous partners are the insecure ones and are hard to deal with... x :hugs:

I definitely agree that it's a sign of strength to let your emotions out and open up. But whenever I've done that, I've always felt worse. No matter the person I'm talking to is. Over the last few years I've found that exercise is a great way to release all that. 

If someone you like feels the same way it definitely boosts your confidence but I wouldn't say that gets rid of insecurities. Particularly if those insecurities have been around for a while. 

Anyway, I probably shouldn't be giving out relationship advice considering the current state of mine.

:hugs:x

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

Is it a good or bad thing? x :console::icon12:

I think its good haha. It better be good. I think its time for me to have some good. Thing is i expect things to turn towards what i wanted before. Now that im able to move away from it. I hear about this all the time. See what happens i guess.

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1 hour ago, HeatherG said:

@RiverLight @KidSurvivor2011 @babyxgothxx  @salparadise6132

Big warm hugs, tight hugs, cups of delicious hot cocoa.... :icon12:     :console:  :hugs:

thank you, HeatherG! :hugs::flowers: Hot cocoa sounds great right now....

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4 hours ago, Natasha1 said:

I think its good haha. It better be good. I think its time for me to have some good. Thing is i expect things to turn towards what i wanted before. Now that im able to move away from it. I hear about this all the time. See what happens i guess.

Really hope it turns around for the better! x:hugs:

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