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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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GRRRRRRRRRRR. Now I am very frustrated. My boss outsources our web development work to contractors in India, and I am finding their work that I assign to be very sloppy. I can't double check everything since it's far too much, and had to come down on them for their sloppiness today. My boss is so freaking cheap. She needs to hire full time employees who will care about the work and who will get it done correctly. This is maddening. I've seen it happen over and over again, and on other jobs. Contractors just don't give a ****.

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Everyone that's having a bad time, and replied, thanks for sharing, and I know that you all will find a path. I've spent the day taking small notes of positives in my life, and decided to write off work and go for a walk. The love of those around me is as real as the bed I'm feeling, today, but will replace it soon. 

Winter is arriving in the UK and that's always a troubling time for me, but i hope a warm heart will melt it.

I hope you can all make a decision to at least be kind to yourself today, even if the world is not being kind to you. x

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Not too bad.  I haven't been triggered with any **** this week yet, after enduring 2 weeks of it.  Miracles.  Now, I knock wood.

I am being productive, writing, working out, and doing a lot at work.  I also haven't had a drink since Saturday.  I think I like it better this way.  Oh, I love getting drunk, but the next day is a total hellhole. 

Only pressing problem is this one of never ending fatigue.  

Hugs to everyone here - my friends!

Bri

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Starting to feel (by about 4:38 pm CST) that my cold will diminish and I will feel better. One of those tiny sensations. Maybe it's just the afternoon coffee (which tastes only slightly strange due to the fact that my nose is stuffed) which is helping to buoy my spirits.

I'm feel like I'm using my feeling unwell to not do anything constructive. I'm tempted to try to go to the grocery store, but I'm afraid it will knock me out for the rest of the evening. We're running out of food, except for canned beans... I mean, I really feel frail. My head has been aching, my nose has been dripping...it's hot as Hades outside and I am taking aspirin to relieve inflammation and pain, but it just turns up the sweats...

When I'm sick like this, all I can think of is my life is ********* I want instant better-ness, not having to wait.

 

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8 minutes ago, Dolphin2013 said:

Starting to feel (by about 4:38 pm CST) that my cold will diminish and I will feel better. One of those tiny sensations. Maybe it's just the afternoon coffee (which tastes only slightly strange due to the fact that my nose is stuffed) which is helping to buoy my spirits.

I'm feel like I'm using my feeling unwell to not do anything constructive. I'm tempted to try to go to the grocery store, but I'm afraid it will knock me out for the rest of the evening. We're running out of food, except for canned beans... I mean, I really feel frail. My head has been aching, my nose has been dripping...it's hot as Hades outside and I am taking aspirin to relieve inflammation and pain, but it just turns up the sweats...

When I'm sick like this, all I can think of is my life is ********* I want instant better-ness, not having to wait.

 

:console: I hope you feel better soon, Dolphin.

It sounds like a good night to order a pizza!

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I've been on edge for my first few days of college. But socialising been better than I expected. It's way different from high school, where people were mostly selfish and focused too much on drama and gossip. Even if I didn't make an effort to connect with people, people still talked to me. I still struggle with self-image, but it's getting better. I feel normal again. I made some connections and I get invited to stuff. I'm overwhelmed at how kind everyone around me is. I had no faith in humanity, but that might change. There's still good people left in this world. 

Edited by anarc

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I feel down and tired tonight.I feel like .My mood usually dips during the evening.I feel the depression at night when I feel the most lonely.I feel a kind of tired that I can`t even explain.I`m just super down tonight.

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Irritable, I am so angry about my past, just feel like its not fair that everythink happened to me. I would go on the chat here but im to p***** off, i'll just sit there Biotching. Im in a fighting mood so I am trying to stay away from people. I feel like I want to get into a argument with someone, 90% of the time I don't but im looking for something to be angry at.I need to reread my dbt book, I have self control now but don't like holding on to the emotion, I just can't let go though. all the opprutinties that I missed all the people that I could have loved and could have loved me. at least I got a interview for a overnight position in a microbiology lab and cleaned all day.

I am so selfish though and always look out for myself that's why I have always been single and have no friends because im to selfish to devote energy to anyone else. I feel like the only one with this problem that is open about talking about it. My therpist was right that I self sabotage because im angry about my past. I feel like a evil person. My therapist told me to repeat to myself that im redeemed but the thoughts still push in when i see everyone so happy and peaceful. while im this evil jealous person that is never happy for anyone else and feels like there in competition with everyone.

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I've just been crying all day.  I was even almost crying at the job interview.  I have no business being able to say I got the job.  I was pretty much still drunk at the interview but I got the job.  It bothers me that I'm the master of appearing ok when I need to even though I'm a complete trainwreck and falling apart inside.  That's just how my life has always been.  You have to appear to be ok.  I'm so sick of it though.  I never feel safe in this world.  When I leave this house I always feel like a deer on hunting season.  When you always feel that way enjoying life is impossible.  Believe me I know how you feel about being bitter about your past scienceguy.  So many things have happened to me that there seems like there is no room for my brain to see the good things in life.  The stories I could tell about my life and it's definitely not just because of choices I've made.  Sadly bad people just continue to find me in life and try to hurt me over and over again.  That's been the theme of my life at this point.

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not well...woke up really lonely this morning after having a dream in which there were faces with whom i've had a slight infatuation on the street/pub yesterday ...damn you brain X(

really need a feminine touch/affection/skin contact :(

Edited by Throwaway

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