Jump to content

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

On 7/2/2017 at 6:01 PM, CoolCat7 said:

Oh, I'm so sorry honey.  You deserve the best.  What's wrong, if you don't mind sharing?  

((((((((hugs)))))))

Thanks, Cat..

My life is falling apart at the seams..I won't go into detail right now, but promise to PM you soon

(((((((Hugs))))))) to you too

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I think even my therapist is tired of me. I don't blame her. I'm tired of me, too.

My therapist is tired of me too.  Now we have something in common.  YAY!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went for a teeth cleaning today.  It hurt so much I thought I was going to die.   I told the lady that. She laughed.  She said I need to floss better.

Later on I went to a restaurant Situation Brewing with my friends.  They talked for two hours and I kept nodding my head.  I was not interested in anything.  

Well at least I went out of the house.  :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm feeling unhappy. I may be coming down with a cold--that my husband had. I started taking extra vitamin C when he came down with it. I have a nasal solution/sinus thing ready to go once it cools down from being disinfected...

I also had very weird dreams last night. I dreamed I went to Argentina, to Buenos Aires, specifically--where I've never been and where I've never even looked closely at pictures...In my dream, it sort of looked like the Florida Keys, where we went for vacation last year. In my dream, the guidebooks showed these busy shopping plazas, but everything in the dream looked rundown and devoid of people.

Then I dreamed I bought a handgun. It was made of intricately carved wood. It came loaded and I had great fun shooting into the water, but then was out of bullets. I got more and had a hard time loading them. In the meantime, the gun started smoking and in order to cool it down, I had to turn the safety catch on. It would have been a disaster otherwise!

Dreams...sheesh.

I got almost 7 hours sleep last night. Almost unheard of on weekdays. I'm working an afternoon shift today. Not looking forward to it. I have the super early shift tomorrow and the day after that. But it's money and that's that.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, duck said:

My therapist is tired of me too.  Now we have something in common.  YAY!!!

I sometimes see my therapist drowsing when we have appointments. I conclude that I'm boring and I should probably try to make appointments for the morning instead of the afternoon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, sober4life said:

Mom is putting up with me because she has to she said.  That's the worst thing she ever said to me.

Wow. Do you think she was she trying to say that she has unconditional love for you, or did she mean it as if it was her "duty"?

Today, I feel...sort of nothing. I'm entirely burned out. I fear I'm going to lose my job because of my sh!tty performance...but even that doesn't really rattle me. I'm to the point where I just don't care. I'm tired of struggling all of the time just to keep up. If I didn't have a daughter, I'd probably be a gutter bum by now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never understood how knowing there are others out there feeling as desolute, empty and suicidal could make me feel less..desolute, empty, suicidal, ? If anything it makes me feel more so.

I also have a bad case of existential depression going on. Been going on since I was 10. Oh and I'm a nihilist.

Not being alive makes more sense to me than being alive.

I've never amounted to anything in my life and I'm never satisfied. I hate my current job but being over 50 years old it is all I'll ever have in this day and  age of age discrimination and redundancies. I am incapable of studying (never managed to get into university or even finish a course) and what would I study anyhow without the required attention and stamina, let alone the fact nothing interests me enough. 

I don't know who I am or what it is I even want. Probably nothing at all other than non-existence.

I'm just a shell. No soul. I shouldn't be alive at all. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I felt so numb, then,why is my whole body shaking and tears pouring out of my eyes.  I have therapy at 1:00, but I don't think I can pull it together, so I will probably pay for something I can't even afford anyway or go to.

 

what the f...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, duck said:

My therapist is tired of me too.  Now we have something in common.  YAY!!!

You know it's bad when someone you're paying to listen to you, doesn't want to do it anymore :ermm:

I don't think she'd "fire" me, but I feel so bad for disappointing her and never seeming to be able to move forward...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Wow. Do you think she was she trying to say that she has unconditional love for you, or did she mean it as if it was her "duty"?

Today, I feel...sort of nothing. I'm entirely burned out. I fear I'm going to lose my job because of my sh!tty performance...but even that doesn't really rattle me. I'm to the point where I just don't care. I'm tired of struggling all of the time just to keep up. If I didn't have a daughter, I'd probably be a gutter bum by now.

She can't deal with the gay side of me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So depressed and afraid of what I've done by calling in sick today.  My sick days have been much less since I got a new boss.  One a month.  But, while work was the major issue, it is not the only issue affecting my depression. Loneliness, a lack of love, worrying about my health, my futile writing struggles, and what opportunities my kids will have and why no one texts or calls me.  All these things get me depressed too, periodically.  I hope they understand that, and don't expect an adjustment that they made at work (for which I am so grateful) is a magic pill that solves my health issues.

I should have had the strength to get up and pull myself into the office today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

I feel strangely happy this evening. Can't explain it. Maybe those rosaries are working. Must mean I'll have to pay for it tomorrow. Oh well, I'll take it! :)

Oh, for gods' sakes!!!!  You won't have to pay for feeling good.  Just keep doing what you're doing and you may start to feel better more often than you ever thought you would.  (She said, scolding her friend. :Coopwink:)  You've been heavily on my mind and you don't know how relieved I am to hear that you had a good evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xo,

M.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...