Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

Recommended Posts

20 minutes ago, bbwolf said:

alone, unwanted, unappreciated, forgotten, unloved, unmotivated, repulsive, ugly, withdrawn,

Hang in there, bbwolf.  I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.  I know it's hard to believe right now, but it's not as bad as you feel.  Your brain is lying to you about how everybody else feels about you.  It doesn't know how everybody else feels about you.  It can't read minds.  Don't believe it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When family can't even bother to say happy birthday to me they aren't family and they never were family.  Maybe they're family in name but nothing more.  I could leave this house tomorrow and walk up to any random person and get more feeling from them then I would get from my family.  My family is my mom and people here.  I'm done with the rest of them.  I will never waste one more second with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I thought the snow was over here.  Nope I have lot's more to clean up.  Oh well it's a chance to make some money shoveling.  Today I feel decent for the most part.  I can feel the depression creeping in.  The Nirvana songs are starting to play in my head.

Edited by sober4life

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

SO. VERY. ANGRY. 

I decided I could not hide under the covers and expect anything to happen by doing so.  So I called the insurance company of the party at fault in my accident of MARCH 17, 2017.  The claim had been passed from adjusted to adjuster and it is my belief that my demand letter, which I sent August 31, 2016, after all my treatment had been completed and car repaired, was put on the back burner because I said I had no plans to sue them; that I wanted this to be over

Well, WHO DO I THINK I AM????  Should i really THINK I MATTER?

DUH . . . YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I called to speak to the latest adjuster and was a SURLY B.I.T.C.H.  Why is it that I have to become a SURLY B.I.T.C.H. and INTIMIDATE people into doing what is right???????????????????????  I nailed her to the wall with questions, and, long story short, I called the hospital whom she claimed was holding up the process and was given DATES as to when the hospital in question had GIVEN THEM THE INFORMATION THEY NEEDED.  I called back the adjuster and she DIDN'T PICK UP THE PHONE. 

So, I left a message for her supervisor, complaining about her, asking whether this was a deliberate "stall," or if she was simply incompetent.

I was doing my BEST not to become that SNARLING HARPY WITH THE HARE-TRIGGER TEMPER, THE WOMAN WHO WOULD DRAG YOU OVER A BED OF NAILS AND BROKEN GLASS AND USE YOUR BLOOD AS LIPSTICK; that MONSTER I became after the accident of 2007 which is the cause of ALL THE PAIN I'M IN NOW.

I had done my part in this situation and was trusting the Universe to step in and handle the rest.  Well, THANK YOU, UNIVERSE.  FOR NOTHING.  (As The Hound in Game of Thrones says: "F.U.C.K. the King.")

Looks like I really DO have to handle every painful situation in my life ALONE.  Or with a LAWYER

Yep.  Thanks for the lesson.  I think I've finally got it.

 

:console:  I'm sorry, WOTL.  It seems like it's their job to make ours more difficult.  That's how they make their money, I guess...by making people exasperated until they give up.  I'm going through something with a hospital who billed my insurance for a test I never received.  If I don't fight it, I can never have that test, because insurance will not pay for it twice.  I don't even know if I give a crap anymore.  I'm just tired.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, bbwolf said:

alone, unwanted, unappreciated, forgotten, unloved, unmotivated, repulsive, ugly, withdrawn,

Hugs to you, bb.  :hugs:  You are none of those things!!  Except maybe withdrawn...and unmotivated perhaps (like me).  I know you get out and ride your bike, which is something I can't seem to muster. :ermm:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Well I thought the snow was over here.  Nope I have lot's more to clean up.  Oh well it's a chance to make some money shoveling.  Today I feel decent for the most part.  I can feel the depression creeping in.  The Nirvana songs are starting to play in my head.

Maybe you can try and drown them out with something peppy and upbeat. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel down.  I had a series of awful dreams before I woke up, because one is never enough.  My brain really has to drive the point home that I'm basically regressing as a person.  (Squirrels are people too.)

I want to be able to go to sleep and then wake up feeling rested.  Is that too much to ask?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
54 minutes ago, LoneSquirrel said:

Maybe you can try and drown them out with something peppy and upbeat. 

Thank you.  All I needed was my favorite antidepressant coffee.  I'm ok.  The difference from how I felt in the hospital compared to now is amazingly different.  I've been sober for 2 weeks and I'm never drinking again.  I need to get myself well enough to go back to work and have a good life.  I'm getting close.  It won't be much longer now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
57 minutes ago, LoneSquirrel said:

I feel down.  I had a series of awful dreams before I woke up, because one is never enough.  My brain really has to drive the point home that I'm basically regressing as a person.  (Squirrels are people too.)

I want to be able to go to sleep and then wake up feeling rested.  Is that too much to ask?

I know how you feel.  I have terrible nightmares.  I usually wake up feeling worse than when I went to sleep.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel.  I have terrible nightmares.  I usually wake up feeling worse than when I went to sleep.

Me too.  It's ridiculous.  I wake up feeling like I've been mugged or something...my body is sore and I feel traumatized.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to love my dreams.  At one point I figured out a way to completely control them and make them whatever I wanted them to be so of course it was only a matter of time until it got taken away.  I can't have a moment of real peace.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

guinea pigs are prey animals and it freaks them out when people pick them up.  But once he's in your lap (especially if you hold him daily), he should settle down.

My cat hates being picked up.  But he will sit beside me and lick my hand, or enjoy getting petted.  If your guinea pig licks you that is a sign of affection.

He doesn't.  :-(  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

I am feeling like such an *****.  I made a stupid comment to someone and I'm worried I may have damaged a friendship.

Well, hopefully an apology will make things better, Lauryn. :console:

 

24 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

p.s. another friend appears not to be speaking to me.  She hasn't responded to texts or emails and I have zero idea what may be wrong.

That sort of thing has happened to me too.  I've lost a friend or two without knowing what I did wrong.  But I feel like if they won't communicate with you about it, there's no way to fix it...and it's not your fault if they won't communicate with you about it.  :console:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

It appears that I didn't damage the friendship.  It's a male friend and I joked about him knowing things about me that my husband doesn't know.  I meant just one or two little details, but it ended up sounding kind of icky (to me, at least).  I immediately corrected and clarified myself, but I was worried because he got kind of silent.  I mean, there are TONS of things about me that my girlfriends have known about me over the years that my husband doesn't know, but it's kind of different to say stuff like that when it's a male friend.  But he sent me an email indicating he got what I meant, so no worries.  

As for my other friend, yeah, I really hope she would say something if I had done/said something wrong, rather than just cutting me off.  She's a 20-year friend.  But you're right - there's nothing I can do until she gets in touch.

Yeah, it is different with male friends...especially if you're married, I would imagine.

I hope your other friend is just busy or something, and will contact you soon.  :flowers:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, sober4life said:

Well I thought the snow was over here.  Nope I have lot's more to clean up.  Oh well it's a chance to make some money shoveling.  Today I feel decent for the most part.  I can feel the depression creeping in.  The Nirvana songs are starting to play in my head.

We also got a lot of snow yesterday and this morning. Not normal at all for where I live. Last year we got our "Summer Blast" in May. The tomato plants were done by the end of June. Then the actual summer sucked eggs.  NOT NORMAL IN THE LEAST. Made my hike today extremely difficult and almost unpleasant, but at least I love it enough to have liked it a little bit lol.

1 hour ago, CoolCat7 said:

guinea pigs are prey animals and it freaks them out when people pick them up.  But once he's in your lap (especially if you hold him daily), he should settle down.

My cat hates being picked up.  But he will sit beside me and lick my hand, or enjoy getting petted.  If your guinea pig licks you that is a sign of affection.

Same with my cat CoolCat...sometimes he will get on my lap on his terms but it's VERY short and only in the winter. Then he takes off.

1 hour ago, CoolCat7 said:

I am feeling like such an *****.  I made a stupid comment to someone and I'm worried I may have damaged a friendship.

I do that so often I can't count them on my hands and toes, and every single part of my body, including the insides.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I'm OK today.  Weird.

All this talk about losing friends is bringing back my recent friend-loss episode.  I am getting more Ok with it.  I can't control it.  I can't control what others think or do to me. I can only control my mind and what I think of myself.  And right now, that seems to be working.

The thing I need to work on, and am, is being OK on my own, not expecting/craving/begging for the love that I was denied as a child.  No one can fill that hole, even if I do get a partner.  I have to get ready for my next relationship by training myself to not need that future person (whoever she may be) to bolster my own ego.

This is what I am going to pursue with the new meditation group I've joined and my p-doc.

Hugs all!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you.  All I needed was my favorite antidepressant coffee.  I'm ok.  The difference from how I felt in the hospital compared to now is amazingly different.  I've been sober for 2 weeks and I'm never drinking again.  I need to get myself well enough to go back to work and have a good life.  I'm getting close.  It won't be much longer now.

Excellent news, my friend!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

I guess I'm OK today.  Weird.

All this talk about losing friends is bringing back my recent friend-loss episode.  I am getting more Ok with it.  I can't control it.  I can't control what others think or do to me. I can only control my mind and what I think of myself.  And right now, that seems to be working.

The thing I need to work on, and am, is being OK on my own, not expecting/craving/begging for the love that I was denied as a child.  No one can fill that hole, even if I do get a partner.  I have to get ready for my next relationship by training myself to not need that future person (whoever she may be) to bolster my own ego.

This is what I am going to pursue with the new meditation group I've joined and my p-doc.

Hugs all!

 

Yes that's what I need to work on.  I am exactly the way you are word for word.  I could have wrote it myself.  I crave love more than anything.  I am going to find it though.  I will never give up.  I could live the rest of this life alone but it would be a life in hell for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...