Jump to content

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

12 hours ago, Azealia said:

I think I feel pretty neutral. But I've been doing suspicious things, like thinking about who I should give my books to, spending money unreasonably just to try something - because life is too short not to; planning to burn my notebooks/sketchbooks, smoking more than usual... Nobody's noticing, +some people I wanted to get to know don't seem as interested.., and I'm just like "that's better for everyone".

Yeah, I know some of those symptoms all too well, Azealia, and, for me, at least, I now know they are early warning signs.  I didn't do anything about it (except lie to myself) till I completely crashed.  That's definitely not the path you want to take. You might want to see your doc or therapist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know that.  Many of the people that I know that try to make it look like they have a perfect life on facebook have far from perfect lives.  They put that fake life out there because they don't want anyone to see what is really going on.  It reminds me of growing up with my dad.  We had 2 lives.  We had the fake life when we went out which was just to make people think things were ok which he insisted that we do and then we had the nightmare behind closed doors.

:coopcray:(((sober)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Kinda sorta OK. But anxious. I have to give a big presentation in front of our board tomorrow night. Actually, 3 presentations! I HATE speaking in front of people. I'm not good at it. I've taken public speaking classes but I still suck at it.

I've got a shrink appointment this afternoon. I hope to convince the guy to sign an FMLA form, giving me intermittent leave from work. He's rather a d!ck so I'm not all that hopeful.

Talked to my long-distance girlfriend quite a bit yesterday. That always eases my mind. Her voice calms me.

How did the pdoc go? Also, good luck on your presentations!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Grateful.  International Women's Day has made me want to be thankful to all the women who have bee patient, loving and understanding toward me and particularly my mental illness.

Thank you to all the girls who have kept me alive this far  :roll2:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

Just want to cry and stay in bed...nothing makes the pain go away :sniffle1:

So sorry to hear that! I felt just like that yesterday... I'll send you a big hug and wish you'll feel better soon! :hugs:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, barnaby_bumble said:

Yeah, I know some of those symptoms all too well, Azealia, and, for me, at least, I now know they are early warning signs.  I didn't do anything about it (except lie to myself) till I completely crashed.  That's definitely not the path you want to take. You might want to see your doc or therapist.

Thanks bumble! I know, I'll tell him next time I see him. I just wish someone would care enough to realize... it's so obvious... I'm just not seeing anything ahead of me. I just don't want these little things I have to be wasted. I want them to be small parts of me in someone else's life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, CoolCat7 said:

Feel kind of low.  My comedy class went well, but a friend of mine emailed to say she couldn't make it to my performance (no reason given).  That makes 3 of my 4 friends who are not attending (the 4th is a "maybe").  Admittedly 2 live out of town.  

Plus we had to write down our impressions of each person based on physical appearance and bearing (yay).  I got a lot of "timid, shy" and yet I thought I had been quite extraverted in class.  But many of them are actors and performers.  The good thing is they laughed very hard at some of my jokes, especially the raunchy jokes, and my teacher said I did a good job of subverting expectations.

Cat, good job! I would totally go to see you perform! I hope you share it with us when it's recorded :nod:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Kinda sorta OK. But anxious. I have to give a big presentation in front of our board tomorrow night. Actually, 3 presentations! I HATE speaking in front of people. I'm not good at it. I've taken public speaking classes but I still suck at it.

I've got a shrink appointment this afternoon. I hope to convince the guy to sign an FMLA form, giving me intermittent leave from work. He's rather a d!ck so I'm not all that hopeful.

Talked to my long-distance girlfriend quite a bit yesterday. That always eases my mind. Her voice calms me.

JD good luck! I'm sure you'll do great! Let us know how it went. hugs!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, barnaby_bumble said:

Wow, evalynn.  That's a lot to take on.  For anybody.  You have my respect.  I'd say cut yourself some slack for struggling with it.  Do as much as you can do, and let the rest go.  That's all any of us can do.

When was the last time you saw a doc?  Maybe they could give you something to help you get a good night's rest?

My doc actually upped one of my pills and I think, between that and taking my pills hours earlier than usual, I actually got some sleep. So far, I've gotten terribly lost on the way back home after dropping off my dad. I ended up on a bridge going the wrong way (on 1/4 tank of gas) and had to get off the first exit I could to turn around and go the right way. Now I'm nervous about picking him up, but at least he'll be with me on the way back home the second time. In the  meanwhile, I have to stay awake and make sure my mom's all right (she has dementia).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

it will go ok :hugs:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

Good luck with the HR people, Brian.  Maybe you can bring some sort of literature with you about depression, in case they don't know how debilitating it can be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel disconnected from the flow of life as though I was in a forest and I could hear a stream but couldn't for the life of me find it.  And it was getting dark.  And I was thirsty.  Something like that is how I feel. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, all my dear friends here on the DF Forum, you have all been so caring and supportive and I am so grateful for that. I am so sorry for not being around much here lately, but I hope to contribute more in the near future. I have to admit that in my whole life, I have dealt with a lot, severe depression, severe handicaps and a whole lot more, but I have tried to do the best that I could with what I was dealt, as I have tried to encourage others on the forum to do. I have been depressed for a while now, but not to bad, but I don't think I have ever been as physically sick as I have been for the past 6+ months in all my life. I not only have been suffering with stomach issues but also cysts under each arm filled with "staph" infection, I think I have "cornered the market" on antibiotics, so to speak. There is one particular person on the forum that I care about a lot and am so sorry that I have not been around much for, (He knows that I am referring to Him), I do worry about Him and everyone else here every day, this forum has been one of the best places I have ever been to on the internet. By the way, my goal of making it to Florida, may happen in a few days, I need this more than ever. But guess what?, my destination, which is Naples, in Collier County is on fire right now, so that may hamper, yet my trip, again, it just so figures. That I know is a bit selfish, considering what they are going through that live there. I have not seen my brother, nephew or little nieces in a few years, but they will be here, along with my sister, on and I plan to go back to Florida with my sister when she leaves. Right now I am feeling better and also excited that I may get away from this "Damn" house and the doctors, tests and appointments for a while. PS: To all my friends that I message a good bit, I will catch up soon and get back to you ALL...I will see yall around soon, I hope...Your Friend Quentin...

 

 

Edited by KidSurvivor2011
Images Not Allowed in Posts
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...