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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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10 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Totally unwanted.

 

9 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said:

Ditto.

 

- KS

So sorry to hear that.  I've felt that way for most of my life.  Wish I could give you a suggestion or tip or something that would help.

At least you're wanted here.

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12 hours ago, Azealia said:

I think I feel pretty neutral. But I've been doing suspicious things, like thinking about who I should give my books to, spending money unreasonably just to try something - because life is too short not to; planning to burn my notebooks/sketchbooks, smoking more than usual... Nobody's noticing, +some people I wanted to get to know don't seem as interested.., and I'm just like "that's better for everyone".

Yeah, I know some of those symptoms all too well, Azealia, and, for me, at least, I now know they are early warning signs.  I didn't do anything about it (except lie to myself) till I completely crashed.  That's definitely not the path you want to take. You might want to see your doc or therapist.

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12 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know that.  Many of the people that I know that try to make it look like they have a perfect life on facebook have far from perfect lives.  They put that fake life out there because they don't want anyone to see what is really going on.  It reminds me of growing up with my dad.  We had 2 lives.  We had the fake life when we went out which was just to make people think things were ok which he insisted that we do and then we had the nightmare behind closed doors.

:coopcray:(((sober)))

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11 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Kinda sorta OK. But anxious. I have to give a big presentation in front of our board tomorrow night. Actually, 3 presentations! I HATE speaking in front of people. I'm not good at it. I've taken public speaking classes but I still suck at it.

I've got a shrink appointment this afternoon. I hope to convince the guy to sign an FMLA form, giving me intermittent leave from work. He's rather a d!ck so I'm not all that hopeful.

Talked to my long-distance girlfriend quite a bit yesterday. That always eases my mind. Her voice calms me.

How did the pdoc go? Also, good luck on your presentations!!

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11 hours ago, barnaby_bumble said:

Yeah, I know some of those symptoms all too well, Azealia, and, for me, at least, I now know they are early warning signs.  I didn't do anything about it (except lie to myself) till I completely crashed.  That's definitely not the path you want to take. You might want to see your doc or therapist.

Thanks bumble! I know, I'll tell him next time I see him. I just wish someone would care enough to realize... it's so obvious... I'm just not seeing anything ahead of me. I just don't want these little things I have to be wasted. I want them to be small parts of me in someone else's life.

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6 hours ago, CoolCat7 said:

Feel kind of low.  My comedy class went well, but a friend of mine emailed to say she couldn't make it to my performance (no reason given).  That makes 3 of my 4 friends who are not attending (the 4th is a "maybe").  Admittedly 2 live out of town.  

Plus we had to write down our impressions of each person based on physical appearance and bearing (yay).  I got a lot of "timid, shy" and yet I thought I had been quite extraverted in class.  But many of them are actors and performers.  The good thing is they laughed very hard at some of my jokes, especially the raunchy jokes, and my teacher said I did a good job of subverting expectations.

Cat, good job! I would totally go to see you perform! I hope you share it with us when it's recorded :nod:

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22 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Kinda sorta OK. But anxious. I have to give a big presentation in front of our board tomorrow night. Actually, 3 presentations! I HATE speaking in front of people. I'm not good at it. I've taken public speaking classes but I still suck at it.

I've got a shrink appointment this afternoon. I hope to convince the guy to sign an FMLA form, giving me intermittent leave from work. He's rather a d!ck so I'm not all that hopeful.

Talked to my long-distance girlfriend quite a bit yesterday. That always eases my mind. Her voice calms me.

JD good luck! I'm sure you'll do great! Let us know how it went. hugs!

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12 hours ago, barnaby_bumble said:

Wow, evalynn.  That's a lot to take on.  For anybody.  You have my respect.  I'd say cut yourself some slack for struggling with it.  Do as much as you can do, and let the rest go.  That's all any of us can do.

When was the last time you saw a doc?  Maybe they could give you something to help you get a good night's rest?

My doc actually upped one of my pills and I think, between that and taking my pills hours earlier than usual, I actually got some sleep. So far, I've gotten terribly lost on the way back home after dropping off my dad. I ended up on a bridge going the wrong way (on 1/4 tank of gas) and had to get off the first exit I could to turn around and go the right way. Now I'm nervous about picking him up, but at least he'll be with me on the way back home the second time. In the  meanwhile, I have to stay awake and make sure my mom's all right (she has dementia).

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It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

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13 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

it will go ok :hugs:

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22 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

It seems they finally noticed all my sick days.  We have a new HR person and I have a new Director and they are speaking of this in terms of a "performance issue." Which, it is, I guess.  But my boss has told me that they seem to know nothing of my chronic depression and anxiety and that the old HR person never kept any of this in my files.  This despite me having been off on sick leave for extended periods twice over the past 20 years!!!  I mean, ***?

Anyway, now I have to meet with these people and tell them how sick I am.  So looking forward to that!!  

Feeling like I'm in trouble.

Worried that I can't do this.  This being life, recovery, happiness, or at least, peace.

Trying to be present and NOT be my thoughts.

Hugs, all!!!!

 

Good luck with the HR people, Brian.  Maybe you can bring some sort of literature with you about depression, in case they don't know how debilitating it can be.

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I feel disconnected from the flow of life as though I was in a forest and I could hear a stream but couldn't for the life of me find it.  And it was getting dark.  And I was thirsty.  Something like that is how I feel. 

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