Realreason Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I feel so hurt and lost. I want to give up and go back home because it would be easier then staying here where all I do is constantly worry and doubt myself. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soloviola Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Recurring fears; haunted by thoughts - the fear of this train I am on disappearing into nowhere. Oblivion frightening me - there is so much to see from my train windows, and yet the train hurtles faster and faster onwards. I scribble a quaver on a blank sheet of paper, fold it up and hurl it out of the train window. I just keep trying to do this; sometimes i see so little, and sometimes when I see and hear so much, its very difficult to express how I feel at all the strange pictures - the lovely things and also the nightmares that life presents; its a struggle to say how I authentically feel myself. Desperately worried. Harder and harder to be honest about how frightened I get. VEry frightened BEcause words - the more vivid they become, the more they can conceal the truth. Deep down, further down than I can bear to admit - in a terrible state. REcahing the place where words are stolen from my thoughts because the suburbs of 'the unknown city' - are coming into sight - can't find the words, though I want to say so much! soloviola 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VictorianGoth Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I feel in the mood for affection and sexual intimacy. Its too bad I'm single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epictetus Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I'm a little out of it right now. I do want to send my best wishes to all of you and especially those who are struggling ! ! ! ! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshire_chick Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Hung over. Self loathing and guilty. I feel useless. Like I'm self sabotaging and I wish I wasn't, yet I keep doing it. I know I'm smarter than this, so why am I such a f**k up? etc etc. the hate goes on and on 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realreason Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I feel like death. like I am death and that I want death and yet am so afraid of what this means. It seems like I can never do anything right. Where will I be happy I might never know 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) Done. Goodbye. Edited January 30, 2017 by KidSurvivor2011 Addition of original text Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 19 minutes ago, KidSurvivor2011 said: Done. Goodbye. Hi KS. I hope you please call someone, or a hotline. I do not like this last post. Big hugs!!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) A crisis line? I don't think so. Two bad experiences, and you want me to have a third? Not gonna happen. Like I said before, I may take a vow of isolation. I fight my own battles. - KS Edited January 30, 2017 by KidSurvivor2011 Clarification 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneSquirrel Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 2 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said: Done. Goodbye. KS, will you please call the hotline, like Brian said? I hope you're okay. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneSquirrel Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Hurt and useless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Tired and shattered. - KS 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey0 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I've given up feeling anything for now 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshire_chick Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 6 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said: A crisis line? I don't think so. Two bad experiences, and you want me to have a third? Not gonna happen. Like I said before, I may take a vow of isolation. I fight my own battles. - KS Hey Kid, I don't even personally know you - but there are people that are here for you and on your side. We want you to stick around! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Very p----- off. - KS 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Just now, KidSurvivor2011 said: Very p----- off. - KS Me too, sort of. I am actually to depleted to by p------d off. Boss issues, again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I should be at the point where I'm too fed up to give a crap. Oh wait, I am... - KS 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 6 hours ago, cheshire_chick said: Hey Kid, I don't even personally know you - but there are people that are here for you and on your side. We want you to stick around! I always thought I was hated on here. Good to know. - KS 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 16 hours ago, cheshire_chick said: Hung over. Self loathing and guilty. I feel useless. Like I'm self sabotaging and I wish I wasn't, yet I keep doing it. I know I'm smarter than this, so why am I such a f**k up? etc etc. the hate goes on and on Yes indeed. You've captured my usual thought process here. I've developed self-loathing into a fine art. Fortunately, no hangover today though. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 29 minutes ago, KidSurvivor2011 said: I always thought I was hated on here. Good to know. - KS Of course you're not hated. You're part of the family, bro. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kogent5 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Frustrated. My dad's had pretty bad arthritis in his right hand for a while now, and apparently he's had pain all along his right leg as well. I hate to see him in pain, but I'm just irritated with him for not trying to help himself. He had an appointment with a rheumatologist in December (which I begged him to go to) but I don't think he went to that because he said "there's no more pain". He always does that. Says there's no more pain until there is (again). I told him that if he's not gonna help himself, no one is gonna force him to. We live in Canada, it's not like he has to worry about going bankrupt visiting the doctor. My brother will drive him to the doctor if he wanted. I've learned my victim complex from him. He is just perfect at it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realreason Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I'm shaking. is it exhaustion, drugs, anxiety, stress. maybe it is my body and mind's inability to deal with any of it. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha1 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 i feel good again. i am not sure how long it will last though. Its been going on for a long period this time. But I am all smiles for now. It is bright out even though it is overcast. Its not my outlook either. Weird. A Mountain looked fresh today. Ready for my rough, experienced feet. That Bug is biting. And I am ready. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 On the tail end of a panic attack, i feel like curling into a ball and crying... and thats just what im going to do. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 3 minutes ago, Waffles said: On the tail end of a panic attack, i feel like curling into a ball and crying... and thats just what im going to do. ((((Waffles)))) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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