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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)


Lindsay

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11 hours ago, feeling_lost said:

Feeling almost nothing and wanting nothing today. Slept a lot but that just intensifies those feelings -_-. Feeling like a burden and trouble.. and not being able to do anything about it because of my confused mind. Just feeling like I am the one creating all the messes in my life and I am the only one to blame. It'a hard to say myself if this is the result of being treated in a certain way for years or is this actually just the way I am. I just feel lost, once again. 

:console:

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Had a rough start to the day, tried drawing multiple times and could not seem to overcome the negativity that started spiraling from my inability to draw clean line-art. So, I gave it a rest for a while and picked it up later. Suffice to say, a different pencil grip (and thus perspective) was all I needed. Already seeing improvements. There's something greater to be said about today but I'm not sure how to say it. I suppose it's that you should always give things room to breath and get some fresh perspective. (:

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2 hours ago, Lady Mozzer said:

I feel tired today.My Mom is still struggling with her anxiety.I`m really concerned about it.I just want her to get better.She doesn`t deserve to go through this.So I am tired and worried tonight.

Sending hugs to your mom and you.  I sincerely hope she can find some peace.  I also have to say that I am grateful that you are there for her, LM!!!

Edited by salparadise6132
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Having my midnight (early morning) cry.  Listening to some "music to cry by." 

Missing my brother.  Still  hard to accept that he doesn't love me any more.  I'm haunting the past, wondering what I did wrong.  Must have disappointed him in some way.

I've been respecting his wish for no more contact.  Maybe if I had courage, I'd contact him anyway.  But the rejection I feel now is bad enough, and I can't do it all over again. 

Now another year of it to face.  Why is some of life so very painful?  No more.  No more.

" .  . . I look for you,
and you'll not answer.
 
From the mountain
I hear your voice.
I scream your name
but you don't answer.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying."
 
(from La Promesa by Lila Downs)
 
Maybe this will finally be the night I go to bed and sleep to reunite with those who have gone before me.  Please.  Please.  Please.  Let this be the night . . .

 

Edited by womanofthelight
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As 2017 is approaching in a couple of hours, I quite dread the new year because I was always so optimistic and hopeful about the new year yet it always comes crashing down on me. My results will be out in late February and it'll determine if I can get into a local university (Cambridge, pls be kind to me)(and yes my exams papers are actually sent to the UK to be marked) 

Advanced Happy New Year to all :) I really hope 2017 onwards will be in your favour!! 

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@womanofthelight I'm teary-eyed reading your post. I can't imagine my brother would do something like that. It would hurt me  tremendously for sure. You can't spoil anything if you contact him from time to time and I think you should even if he keeps rejecting you over and over. Time is a healer and there's a good chance it will help him forget and forgive.:hugs:

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I do get sick of life.  It seems like every day I have to try as hard as I can just to measure up to the people around me.  While others seem to just be normal it takes great effort for me to work to get there.  I get sick of the world making me think I am not good enough for them.  I have to make changes to even deserve to be in their presence.  That is the way the world makes me feel.

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It amazes me that people here accept me and care about me but in real life nobody really cares.  The best response I can hope for from someone is get out of my way.  I try to fit in with people but after a while I just realize it is pointless.  I start to feel better and almost every time it is ruined by other people.

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10 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Having my midnight (early morning) cry.  Listening to some "music to cry by." 

Missing my brother.  Still  hard to accept that he doesn't love me any more.  I'm haunting the past, wondering what I did wrong.  Must have disappointed him in some way.

I've been respecting his wish for no more contact.  Maybe if I had courage, I'd contact him anyway.  But the rejection I feel now is bad enough, and I can't do it all over again. 

Now another year of it to face.  Why is some of life so very painful?  No more.  No more.

" .  . . I look for you,
and you'll not answer.
 
From the mountain
I hear your voice.
I scream your name
but you don't answer.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying.
 
I hear echoes
of my crying."
 
(from La Promesa by Lila Downs)
 
Maybe this will finally be the night I go to bed and sleep to reunite with those who have gone before me.  Please.  Please.  Please.  Let this be the night . . .

 

Hugs WOTL!!!

I hope you feel better.  I have nothing helpful to say about your brother, other than I am so sorry he has hurt you so!

 

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8 hours ago, sober4life said:

I do get sick of life.  It seems like every day I have to try as hard as I can just to measure up to the people around me.  While others seem to just be normal it takes great effort for me to work to get there.  I get sick of the world making me think I am not good enough for them.  I have to make changes to even deserve to be in their presence.  That is the way the world makes me feel.

That really isn't fair to you or anyone here in the same boat, and I find I need to do the same and it's just so draining.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

It amazes me that people here accept me and care about me but in real life nobody really cares.  The best response I can hope for from someone is get out of my way.  I try to fit in with people but after a while I just realize it is pointless.  I start to feel better and almost every time it is ruined by other people.

Don't let them ruin things for you, sober4life.

Edited by gs22
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