Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

Recommended Posts

Wow, it's almost the new year.  2014 was one of the worst years of my life, with the loss of two people I knew, my mother and also a friend of the family who took his own life.  Sometimes, when I think back about this friend, I am in shock, and part of me still has a hard time believing it.  I've mentioned this once here on someone's thread.  I could see my mother weakening and then the diagnosis so that hasn't been as hard for me to believe yet no less painful to accept.  The following year was one of processing all of this and dealing with how it's affected my family.  So I feel helpless right now, like what other shoe will fall.  Needless to say, being the anxious type, it has not helped me.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


So I had an okay Christmas.  Not great just okay.  My anxiety level is high and I am worried about things all the time.  Things in the future.

Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist who interviewed me for a group therapy called Change Ways.   I am accepted but I do not know if I want to join it.  I am sick and tired of being in groups and wasting time.  Nothing helps with my depression.  

Since I started the Cmybalta I believe my anxiety is much higher than before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, LoneSquirrel said:

@sober4life, I'm glad you're doing so much better!!!

Thank you.  I want everyone here to feel better.  I have no idea why all of this is happening.  I just woke up one day and didn't like anything about myself and from that day forward it's like I've been a completely different person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, gs22 said:

Wow, it's almost the new year.  2014 was one of the worst years of my life, with the loss of two people I knew, my mother and also a friend of the family who took his own life.  Sometimes, when I think back about this friend, I am in shock, and part of me still has a hard time believing it.  I've mentioned this once here on someone's thread.  I could see my mother weakening and then the diagnosis so that hasn't been as hard for me to believe yet no less painful to accept.  The following year was one of processing all of this and dealing with how it's affected my family.  So I feel helpless right now, like what other shoe will fall.  Needless to say, being the anxious type, it has not helped me.  

My dad died in 2014, and a cousin killed himself in 2015.  Like you, I wait for the other shoe to drop, because it seems like my family cannot go a full year without a crisis.

I'm sorry, gs.  Life f***ing sucks sometimes, and there isn't always something you can do about it.

I hope a hug or two will help, at least.  :console:  :console:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, gs22 said:

Wow, it's almost the new year.  2014 was one of the worst years of my life, with the loss of two people I knew, my mother and also a friend of the family who took his own life.  Sometimes, when I think back about this friend, I am in shock, and part of me still has a hard time believing it.  I've mentioned this once here on someone's thread.  I could see my mother weakening and then the diagnosis so that hasn't been as hard for me to believe yet no less painful to accept.  The following year was one of processing all of this and dealing with how it's affected my family.  So I feel helpless right now, like what other shoe will fall.  Needless to say, being the anxious type, it has not helped me.  

I love my mom like you love your mom.  She's very sick but she never stops fighting.  She has to have surgery next month and in her condition every surgery is major surgery.  I worry that every day will be her last day so I enjoy every moment with her.  I have had to deal with a lot of hard deaths in my life as well .  I know what you're going through and I am always here for you to talk if you need me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, gs22 said:

It's night so I'm anxious.  I can't settle down plus I took a nap.  I feel like playing a sport but I have no one to play with ⚾️

It can be hard to find enough people to play baseball.  I remember growing up going door to door asking people to play.  Sometimes we never could find enough people.  I used to enjoy playing backyard baseball or football.  Playing football in the snow is a lot of fun!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, LoneSquirrel said:

My dad died in 2014, and a cousin killed himself in 2015.  Like you, I wait for the other shoe to drop, because it seems like my family cannot go a full year without a crisis.

I'm sorry, gs.  Life f***ing sucks sometimes, and there isn't always something you can do about it.

I hope a hug or two will help, at least.  :console:  :console:

Thank you, LoneSquirrel.  I didn't know about your cousin, I'm very sorry. 

I know there are things I can't control and I've tried to accept this about life but it's so hard for me.  I'm concerned about the toll these prolonged periods of chronic stress are taking on me.  I want to be hopeful about the new year but I'm wary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, sober4life said:

I love my mom like you love your mom.  She's very sick but she never stops fighting.  She has to have surgery next month and in her condition every surgery is major surgery.  I worry that every day will be her last day so I enjoy every moment with her.  I have had to deal with a lot of hard deaths in my life as well .  I know what you're going through and I am always here for you to talk if you need me.

Thank you, sober4life.  I'm sorry your mom is suffering, and I hope her surgery goes well.  Good for her for fighting, so did my mom, it was something to watch her.  She was so weak and did everything humanly possibly to fight for her life.  I felt like she was teaching me a lesson in strength, just by example, she didn't say anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, sober4life said:

It can be hard to find enough people to play baseball.  I remember growing up going door to door asking people to play.  Sometimes we never could find enough people.  I used to enjoy playing backyard baseball or football.  Playing football in the snow is a lot of fun!

I'm being a big baby about it, it's snow everywhere right now!  I still follow MLB (on their site) regardless of the time of year.  My mother was the biggest sports fan, I learned my love of sports from her, especially baseball, the CFL and hockey (big surprise). 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, CoolCat7 said:

My cats are in my profile photo.  They are both Ragdolls (I don't recommend getting purebred cats though, as they are both very neurotic and the male cat won't sit on our laps and doesn't like getting picked up. He doesn't like being on any unstable surface.)  They are both sweet and we love them to bits, neuroses and all. 

They're looking up at someone.  They're so cute! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, gs22 said:

Thank you, LoneSquirrel.  I didn't know about your cousin, I'm very sorry. 

I know there are things I can't control and I've tried to accept this about life but it's so hard for me.  I'm concerned about the toll these prolonged periods of chronic stress are taking on me.  I want to be hopeful about the new year but I'm wary.

I hear ya!!  I keep telling myself that 2017 is going to be my year though...hoping it will come true.

Chronic stress has been an issue for me for years as well, and I worry about it too...which probably doesn't help, I'm thinking. :ermm:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, LoneSquirrel said:

I hear ya!!  I keep telling myself that 2017 is going to be my year though...hoping it will come true.

Chronic stress has been an issue for me for years as well, and I worry about it too...which probably doesn't help, I'm thinking. :ermm:

LoneSquirrel, I hope that it will be your year.  I hope it will be for everyone here.

I feel run down from so much stress over the past few years and I don't know what I can do about it.  Already stressed out knowing that my dad's cancer treatments resume soon.  

Sigh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, gs22 said:

Thank you, sober4life.  I'm sorry your mom is suffering, and I hope her surgery goes well.  Good for her for fighting, so did my mom, it was something to watch her.  She was so weak and did everything humanly possibly to fight for her life.  I felt like she was teaching me a lesson in strength, just by example, she didn't say anything.

I have a lot of will power but it's nothing compared to her.  A lot of the time when people get very sick they give up but not her.  She's lost 150 pounds in the last 14 months.  I am so proud of her! Doctors told us both that we were going to die if we didn't change and we both chose to fight.  I have lost 100 pounds myself.  Whatever happens to us in the end we have been closer than we have ever been in my life.  Nobody can say we didn't fight to survive.  We chose to prove all of our doctors wrong.  It used to be every doctor's appointment for us was a lecture but now our doctors  are constantly asking us how we are doing what we are doing so they can help their patients.  Good tell them all.  I want everyone to feel as good as I do right now.  Anyone here reading this that wants help losing weight send me a message.  I will help anyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, gs22 said:

I'm being a big baby about it, it's snow everywhere right now!  I still follow MLB (on their site) regardless of the time of year.  My mother was the biggest sports fan, I learned my love of sports from her, especially baseball, the CFL and hockey (big surprise). 

My mom loves sports too.  Our favorite sport is basketball.  We usually watch at least one game a day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Feeling almost nothing and wanting nothing today. Slept a lot but that just intensifies those feelings -_-. Feeling like a burden and trouble.. and not being able to do anything about it because of my confused mind. Just feeling like I am the one creating all the messes in my life and I am the only one to blame. It'a hard to say myself if this is the result of being treated in a certain way for years or is this actually just the way I am. I just feel lost, once again. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lonely, and guilty over being lonely. Haha, smashin'.

Also, frustrated at having an extra health issue team up with the usual depression and anxiety to make it extra difficult to work on a particularly demanding task. Really need to get this done, though...!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Relatives are coming around driving me crazy!  I refuse to let them make me sick this weekend.  I'm sure it will be like that Fiona Apple video Across the universe with all chaos around me but like she said nothing's gonna change my world.  I did like when Kurt Cobain sang that song as well.  

Edited by sober4life

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...