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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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How do I feel right now??...Hello my friends, I hope and pray that all are doing well or at least the best that yall can.  My status is this. I spent the day with my two sisters and brother-in-law playing cards and I barely made it through the day. I awoke this morning feeling like, well really bad. I managed to post a lot of Christmas videos and a poem to a lot of my FB friends and that was grueling to say the least. Right now I am severely depressed, anxious, stomach back to hurting and running a fever of 101.9, it's very disheartening because I thought I was getting better. I will really hate myself if I let this get in the way of me going to Florida. But I may be seeing the doctor sooner than later. So the way I feel right now is sort of, having no words to explain what I am feeling. I have got a long day ahead for tomorrow so I guess I must try to be strong and put on a happy face for everyone, something I know is exhausting to do...Be Good to Yourselves...

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On 23.12.2016 at 6:38 AM, Natasha1 said:

He's like  a yo-yo...

I am sorry Natasha :hugs:I know how tiring that is.

Especially the "out-of-the-blue" fights / being upset were really hard for me. Then the times when all was good and nice, I was afraid of the next thing I'd do wrong without even realizing.

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1 hour ago, feeling_lost said:

I am sorry Natasha :hugs:I know how tiring that is.

Especially the "out-of-the-blue" fights / being upset were really hard for me. Then the times when all was good and nice, I was afraid of the next thing I'd do wrong without even realizing.

this is sooooooooo it.

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overwhelmed. so much to do today for tonight and pre prepping for tomorrow.

but this is a good kind of overwhelm. i plan it down to the second to make sure everything goes just right.

seems easier this year. might not be such a good thing but we will see!

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Best to all, especially those who are struggling right now!!!!  Hugs!!!!

As for me, I have some company for a few days, so, even if my phone rarely rings, at least I do have some peeps.  Thankful for that.

Happy Holidays to you all!!!

 

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On 12/23/2016 at 9:07 AM, samadhiSheol said:

..I.m.not giving up though. I.m nothing if not pid-headed. Don't give up either, ok?

Hugs, Lady.

Me either, but sometimes there is only so much a person can take, and this illness is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with..

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22 hours ago, CoolCat7 said:

Talking to women isn't one thing. Every woman is different.  When you think of women as a group you end up like Howard wolowitz from Big Bang Theory, trying to come up with the right pickup line or technique. It helps if you love and respect yourself first.

Very true, every woman is a wonderful individual soul who has her own likes, hopes and dreams for life, women don't want chat up lines, they want to be understood, feel secure and be loved for who they are. 

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WOW..........having people tell you that you don't need psychiatrists, you just need a "better" mental attitude in life, is sure discouraging. While it p***** me off I can't say that I wish these terrible feelings and problems I've had since I was a child even on anyone's nightmare..

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Can't sleep or get the mind quiet.

Haven't posted in awhile.  Things have gone better than I'd expected, particularly with the approval for the new HIV medication which I started on the 12th.  Renewal for my Ryan White Act benefits went off without a hitch.  And I've done some good photography in the meantime, as well. Heck, I've even managed to clean out a lot of stuff in preparation for my move.

But my elderly mother is having problems I've mentioned here previously.  She's had a good seven weeks since her last panic attack, but had another one Saturday, suddenly knocking on my door at sunset to see if I was ok, thinking she hadn't heard from me in a week.  It had been only a few days.  Then the tears started and she wobbled off on her cane, nearly falling on the stepping stones if I hadn't grabbed her.  In short, when something upsets her - no matter how minor - she goes off the rails, presenting a danger to herself and, if driving, others.

I'm faced with a delayed move in three months, but decisions have to be made well before that about Mom...probably moving her back up north with a cousin instead of living with me.  Though she lives on her own right now, her care has become more than I can handle since she lies transparently about little things, is obsessed with nonexistent "paperwork," and - like so many of her generation who feel asking for help is shameful - refuses to acknowledge there's any problem.  Tonight I've been feeling the only way to give her a reason to move is if I'm out of the picture.  Considering how overwhelmed I'm feeling about her problems on top of my own challenges, you can infer my meaning.  I can't see any good outcome.  And I haven't felt like this recently.

I just had to get this written down somewhere.

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I hope everyone is having a merry Christmas.  I'm doing ok.  I'm actually having a happy holidays this time around.  I don't have regular internet right now.  I'm posting from Denny's.  Surprisingly that is where I want to eat for Christmas.:coophelp:

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