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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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7 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I've been finding old classmates of mine recently too. I missed our 40th class reunion earlier this year but that's OK. I graduated with a class of 31 so we knew each other well. Wish I still had the optimism of my old high school self.

Blah here too. At least I don't have a hangover.

Eh for some reason a sentence is missing from my post; the classmate  I found was one that used to always bully me back in the day. The relentless bullying is part of why i am how I am today... I just found it crazy that this guy is now a pastor. But I guess if God (for any believers) can change someone's heart like that, maybe there's hope for healing my mind.

Sn: yeah, I feel like at some point each and every one of us may have had at least a fair outlook on life. But, this world is so full of contaminants... it can really steal our joy/peace.

Edited by EyeC33U

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20 hours ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

I am sorry for your pain, dear woman. :(

Try to hold on.  All pain will eventually pass.  That knowledge has been a great motivating factor for me.

Not all pain passes. I don't buy that....

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5 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said:

Tired of worrying about trivial, dumb ****. Come to think of it, I'm tired of everything and everyone.

 

- KS

That's my usual place to be as well. I'm sick of being inadequate, especially at work. It gets thrown in my face all of the time.

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21 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

It's my birthday today and unfortunately I have to work. Wasn't able to get today off but got tomorrow--and since I wasn't born until 6pm I technically have it off! 

Yesterday I did something that scared me a lot. I got up on stage at my first open mic night in front of a group of amateur and professional comics and  performed a comedy set I had never done before, about some things that are very personal to me including depression.  I was so nervous my hand holding the microphone was shaking and my voice wavered from time to time. But I did it.  And got some nice feedback afterwards including several "good set" comments.  

Wow, CC!!! Good for you!  And happy birthday!!!

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28 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

It's my birthday today and unfortunately I have to work. Wasn't able to get today off but got tomorrow--and since I wasn't born until 6pm I technically have it off! 

Yesterday I did something that scared me a lot. I got up on stage at my first open mic night in front of a group of amateur and professional comics and  performed a comedy set I had never done before, about some things that are very personal to me including depression.  I was so nervous my hand holding the microphone was shaking and my voice wavered from time to time. But I did it.  And got some nice feedback afterwards including several "good set" comments.  

Happy Birthday, CC! :birthday2: :birthday:

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Today has been one of the worst... I've woke up and realise everyone hates me (I'm serious, I'm not attention-seeking right now...) What happened in college today hurt. It opened my eyes :broken_heart:

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46 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

It's my birthday today and unfortunately I have to work. Wasn't able to get today off but got tomorrow--and since I wasn't born until 6pm I technically have it off! 

Yesterday I did something that scared me a lot. I got up on stage at my first open mic night in front of a group of amateur and professional comics and  performed a comedy set I had never done before, about some things that are very personal to me including depression.  I was so nervous my hand holding the microphone was shaking and my voice wavered from time to time. But I did it.  And got some nice feedback afterwards including several "good set" comments.  

Happy birthday, and congratulations!

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16 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

Today has been one of the worst... I've woke up and realise everyone hates me (I'm serious, I'm not attention-seeking right now...) What happened in college today hurt. It opened my eyes :broken_heart:

Sorry you had such a bad day. And then there's the eye-opening event. Hope you are OK...

 

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54 minutes ago, CoolCat7 said:

It's my birthday today and unfortunately I have to work. Wasn't able to get today off but got tomorrow--and since I wasn't born until 6pm I technically have it off! 

Yesterday I did something that scared me a lot. I got up on stage at my first open mic night in front of a group of amateur and professional comics and  performed a comedy set I had never done before, about some things that are very personal to me including depression.  I was so nervous my hand holding the microphone was shaking and my voice wavered from time to time. But I did it.  And got some nice feedback afterwards including several "good set" comments.  

Happy Birthday!!! 🎈🎉

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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Sorry you had such a bad day. And then there's the eye-opening event. Hope you are OK...

 

Aw thanks! The eye-opening event was the realisation that everyone hates me. I should've known that ages ago because I'm such a loser with no friends x

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Jesus J_ "who you are"
I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(Who you are) [x11]
Brushing my hair-do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no, no, no no... yeah.
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!
Yes, no, egos, fake shows, like whoa!
Just go and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile that's my home!
That's my home, no...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
Yeah yeah yeah

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2 hours ago, Misanthrop said:

Only 2 kinds of people gets hated by everyone: 96% of all those working in management level or above; & rich politicians. Which one are you?

Hmm neither of them? Definately not the latter lol

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I ****ing (sorry for cussing) hate myself and so does everyone else. People hate me because I'm too clingy, boring and sad! They only talk to me because they "have to..." I'm such a useless waste of space who will never have an impact on the world. Even in my dreams...

What happened in college yesterday truly opened my eyes on how much I'm hated... I was doing good this week. I cut down on drinking and started to like myself... Then that happened! Now I'm back at no self-esteem. I should resort back to drinking! Though sugar is an anti-depressant on its own lol 

I'm also starting to experience baby fever... That is awkward, sorry guys... It's another strong obsession of mine! I used to despise babies. Now since last week, I cry when I see one :broken_heart: Please help x    

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Life is a pile of s**t....what else is new.

Hope? There is none. My diseased brain has effectively killed it.

Happiness? Nothing but a distant memory.

Success? That's for other blokes, not me. 

Love? I had it once... But it was no match for the Black Dog, who, snarling and slobbering, easily eviscerated it and rent it to tatters.

The future? Radioactive ash...

 

Why do I stay....

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