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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

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2 minutes ago, uncertain1 said:

Well said. I daydream about moving to an idyllic, fairytale village. Fantasy of course but it helps the frustration. Netflix has "Escape to the Country" that makes for a good diversion.

I grew up on a farm and couldn't wait to move to the city and become a wage slave. WTH was I thinking??

I dream of moving to another country that doesn't spend trillions of dollars on k!ll!ng people around the world.

Edited by JD4010

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Sometimes life throws a pleasant surprise.  Yesterday events came together in such a way that, to my great surprise, I spoke for about 1.5 hours on the phone with my beloved girlfriend from 28 years ago.  (She was the best girl I ever had.  I wish I could have kept her.)  It felt great.  There was such an easy rapport, as if we were never apart.  I don't foresee us getting back together, but still this was very cool.

It happened after I told God that I was lonely and prayed for some companionship.

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2 hours ago, uncertain1 said:

Prozac when you have mood swings? I thought the  SSRI drugs could make them worse! My memory is bad, so sorry if you've already said, but have you ever tried a mood stabilizer like lamotrigine?

Yep they seem to make them worse before they start working! Hmm nope, I've never tried a mood stabilizer before x

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On 11/29/2017 at 11:55 PM, salparadise6132 said:

Congratulatory hugs, girl!

Has anyone heard from sober lately.  I am worried about her!!!!!

Is it possible to see/find out if someone (sober4life) is alright??

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8 hours ago, Natasha1 said:

Inferior

me too.  I marvel when I see or know someone who feels good about themself.  

(((Natasha1)))

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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm feeling OK. Incensed by the federal tax bill that got passed...we obviously aren't represented, so TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION is my new motto. This isn't a left vs right issue...it's top vs bottom.

The next couple of years will be hell. :tear2:

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Work today started out kind of on a bad note. Manager made some rude comment to me, supervisor told me to shut up and our lead person was making fun of peoples shoes. If someone else didn't take PTO then I probably would've left for the day.

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Desperately sad and hopeless.  Crying.  Dreading my change of health insurance plan; feeling hopeless about ever getting better.  I literally need to be reconstructed.  Knees and back are so painful.  I can't go on any more.  i have lots of pills I could take and a bottle of tequila.  But i'd never do that . . . it would destroy the people Iove.  SO WHY CAN'T I CROAK IN MY SLEEP??????????????

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12 hours ago, HeatherG said:

@Natasha1 You're not, at all.  Hugs to @babyxgothxx and @Natasha1 

I hope Saturday is treating you both well. :)

Thanks hun! Hope your Saturday is going well too x

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3 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Desperately sad and hopeless.  Crying.  Dreading my change of health insurance plan; feeling hopeless about ever getting better.  I literally need to be reconstructed.  Knees and back are so painful.  I can't go on any more.  i have lots of pills I could take and a bottle of tequila.  But i'd never do that . . . it would destroy the people Iove.  SO WHY CAN'T I CROAK IN MY SLEEP??????????????

You need a hug.... wish I could give you one for real and tell you that everything is going to turn out OK. Hang in there, WOTL. You are strong. You have so much spirit to you, and so much to offer this world. You have helped me so much on here in the past. You have such inner beauty!!!!! :flowers::hugs:Don't ever forget that.

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I split up with my girlfriend today, so I'm feeling pretty low. I've been through worse break-ups and I'll know I'll get through it but I'm still feeling pretty bad. 

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Depression has always caused me to sleep/stay in bed/avoid social situations. Like literally it can be a fight sometimes just to get up and brush teeth/wash face in the morning sometimes.... so, this morning to hear my future fil call me lazy to my daughter, behind my back, kind of infuriated/offended me. But Idk, after thinking about it. Maybe he's right, maybe that' why I'm so depressed.... I hate my self and my life but... what am I doing to change anything....but then that though just leaves me feeling even more s***ty..... most of the decisions I've made to try to change things...seem yo have only made things harder....

Ugh, I'm rambling so I'm going to stop here.

Btw... I truly am sorry to anyone I may have triggered in the past. I was being selfish and only seeing my pain. I feel like that's a character flaw of mine. I am working on it.

 

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On another note... I find it kind of crazy that an old classmate of mine, that actually contributed to the bashing of my already low self esteem is now a pastor/gospel recording artist.... saw him on fb the other day. It' kind of crazy how these things play out.. I really wanted to reach out but my words may have been unkind. Anyway...blah..

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11 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Desperately sad and hopeless.  Crying.  Dreading my change of health insurance plan; feeling hopeless about ever getting better.  I literally need to be reconstructed.  Knees and back are so painful.  I can't go on any more.  i have lots of pills I could take and a bottle of tequila.  But i'd never do that . . . it would destroy the people Iove.  SO WHY CAN'T I CROAK IN MY SLEEP??????????????

I am sorry for your pain, dear woman. :(

Try to hold on.  All pain will eventually pass.  That knowledge has been a great motivating factor for me.

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2 hours ago, EyeC33U said:

On another note... I find it kind of crazy that an old classmate of mine, that actually contre' kind of crazy how these things play out.. I really wanted to reach out but my words may have been unkind. Anyway...blah..

I've been finding old classmates of mine recently too. I missed our 40th class reunion earlier this year but that's OK. I graduated with a class of 31 so we knew each other well. Wish I still had the optimism of my old high school self.

Blah here too. At least I don't have a hangover.

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5 hours ago, EyeC33U said:

Depression has always caused me to sleep/stay in bed/avoid social situations. Like literally it can be a fight sometimes just to get up and brush teeth/wash face in the morning sometimes.... so, this morning to hear my future fil call me lazy to my daughter, behind my back, kind of infuriated/offended me. But Idk, after thinking about it. Maybe he's right, maybe that' why I'm so depressed.... I hate my self and my life but... what am I doing to change anything....but then that though just leaves me feeling even more s***ty..... most of the decisions I've made to try to change things...seem yo have only made things harder....

Ugh, I'm rambling so I'm going to stop here.

Btw... I truly am sorry to anyone I may have triggered in the past. I was being selfish and only seeing my pain. I feel like that's a character flaw of mine. I am working on it.

 

I don't agree about the person calling you lazy to your daughter.  But that's my humble opinion..  Depression saps our energy, we don't want to be the way we are.  And speaking to your daughter that way behind your back can cause confusion and division in an already chaotic household (my house), so, that person speaking poorly about you isn't helpful (doesn't lift you up or encourage) - it only hurts. 

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5 hours ago, EyeC33U said:

Depression has always caused me to sleep/stay in bed/avoid social situations. Like literally it can be a fight sometimes just to get up and brush teeth/wash face in the morning sometimes.... so, this morning to hear my future fil call me lazy to my daughter, behind my back, kind of infuriated/offended me. But Idk, after thinking about it. Maybe he's right, maybe that' why I'm so depressed.... I hate my self and my life but... what am I doing to change anything....but then that though just leaves me feeling even more s***ty..... most of the decisions I've made to try to change things...seem yo have only made things harder....

Ugh, I'm rambling so I'm going to stop here.

Btw... I truly am sorry to anyone I may have triggered in the past. I was being selfish and only seeing my pain. I feel like that's a character flaw of mine. I am working on it.

 

Not rambling...you're expressing your pain. That's what this place is about, isn't it? A safe, welcoming place where we can support and comfort each other, celebrate victories large or small, and feel like we belong. (((Hugs)))

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