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PsychT1987

Feel my fiance' is depressed & suicidal...

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Hi, engaged 14 months ago and to be married to my future husband end of November. Really didn't think much, but a lot of things seem to be connecting. Over the past few months fiance' has been sending me text asking do I love him, am I important, if wasn't for you I off myself, I am sad, and so forth. In addition to, his mood has become very labile. Easily frustrated when driving seeing a darker side of him driving. Yelling, swearing, flipping people off, honking is horn, and so on. He is withdrawing more from me. He keeps telling me how he is afraid of death. Recently flipping through a journal found left open talked about how he struggles with living and just not wanting to be alive at times.

When trying to confront him about this he denies it all and says he is fine. He feels his depression has ruined his life in the past because he believes denied him the ability to apply to certain jobs and being on medication made him gain weight in the past.

He is very stressed about moving out where he lives, currently moved back with his mom 15 months ago. We are very stressed with bills lately as well living paycheck to paycheck. We plan to move in with the MIL up until June and look for a place to live after that on our own.

Fiance' is also stressed because he has to leave behind when he moves his moms' cat and dog. He is very attached to the animals and he seems to be in great solace when around them.

Fiance keeps telling me the pressure is on as he is returning back to school for nursing. He jokingly says if I can't finish nursing school no reason to live anymore to me.

I am not sure what to do? Any ideas? Appreciate any responses or feedback.

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If he doesn't want to talk about it, you can't make him. Try making him feel comfortable talking with you, and he will naturally come to you when he needs help. Be extra nice to him I guess. 

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I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. Situations like this are difficult, and I wish I could give you a hug. I just said a prayer for you and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. Do you think it would help to speak with a counselor? It might be worth trying. Hugs!

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Hi, Psych,

I'm really sorry to hear that your fiance is having such a tough time of things right now. It seems like he is struggling with a lot and could really use extra support. It is completely understandable that his confidence in himself in many areas could be wavering under such pressures. Maybe he could use some extra comfort, love, support, patience and understanding right now. It might help if you could get him to see a therapist to provide objective, professional support, too. You mention that he has joked about suicide being an option if nursing does not work out for him. Even if he really is just joking, the fact that he mentions it at all means that the thought has crossed his mind. 

Hope your wedding goes off beautifully.

xo, C

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