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LeighChan

Hateful comments after breakup

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Hi everyone. It's me, Leigh, with depression. I recently posted about the breakup with my 3-year boyfriend. Recently, we spoke to each other and I tried to tell him that I still care for him and love him but received some really hateful comments from him.
Here are the exact wordings:

  • Him, "Why do you always want me to love you?" "Why are you so selfish?

  • Me, "I can't imagine life otherwise. I am very sad about this (I've cried a few days) and I just want you to know that not only do I love you but I feel like a large part of my heart is attached to you."

  • Him, "And can you stop crying!!!"
     
  • Me, "Ok. I get it, you don't like me crying."

    Him, "And do you even know how your mum feels???"

    Me, "Why does everyone only care about how my mum feels but not me?"

  • Him, "Because your mum does so much and you don't even understand."

  • Me, "She threatened not to take custody of me twice, kick me out of the house, because i was feeling sad about this."

  • Him, "Yeah, because you have cried enough."

    Me, "please....."

  • Him, "I think my parents would do that, if I am just like you."

  • Me, "I .... look i am in a lot of pain right now. i really love you, and a large part of me is attached to you. Just want to say."

  • Him, "well ..."

    Me, "I don't know why i need to take the blame from my mum and you in this situation..."

  • Me, "No one talks to me now. not even my friends. not my mum. not you ..."

    Me, "I have no one to speak of the pain."

  • Him, "Because of your bad attitude."

    Me, "please ....."

    Him, "That's why no one talks to you. It's the truth."

  • Me, "i don't want more criticism right now. i really love you."

    Him, "I've had it too."

  • Me, "Please, I just want to convince you that i really love you."

  • Him, "I don't think so."

    Me, "Then what can i do? Please, I mean it."

  • Him, "Nothing."

  • Me, "Please, I can't anymore criticism at the moment. I just got my heart broken and my mum "******ing" me for my sadness."

    Me, "Please. I really love you, I do."

    Me, "You said you don't hate me in your last text, what did I do?"

  • Him, "I don't, but your attitude is so bad that I have to hate you."

  • Me, "I'm not saying anything offensive to you."

    Me, "I just want to say i really really care for you."

  • Him, "Yes, you love me. But you cannot force me to love you."

    Him, "I don't. SO."

  • Me, "Please ...... don't say that. We've been dating for the past 3 years."

  • Him, "Even if you keep texting, it doesn't work

  • Me, "I really am trying, give me a chance

    Me, "Please, don't hate me."
  • Him, "See you are forcing me to love you again."

    Me, "I just want to show you that i care. Please don't always think the bad of me

  • Him, " I can't see it. Plus, life is unfair."

  • Him, "And can you stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Him, "If you wanna show, show it to your friends not me."
     
  • Me, "Its you I care for and its you I wanna show. Please, at least don't hate me."
  • Him, "You're just so annoying."

    Me, "Please can we be kind to each other?"

  • Him, "And have a bad attitude. That's all ... always crying."

    Him, "And posting negative stuff. You think I like that?????

  • Him, "Saying please doesn't help. There is nothing you can do."
  • Me, "But as myself i am very hurt by that too. Please ..."

    Him, "People hating you is a result of what you did."

    Me, "I am a person with depression and yes I know my emotions go up and down a lot. But encountering all those painful things does make me upset."

    Him, "Begging people and forcing them to love you back isn't gonna do it."
     
    Me, "I'm not forcing you. I'm just trying to show you I love you."
  • Him, "Correct yourself."

  • Me, "Can we be kind to each other?"

    Him, "Begging is not the way."

    Me, "I don't want to minimize my self worth by hearing more criticism. I know a lot of people don't like me because of my emotions and depression."

    Me, "Please... I really wanna prove to you. I just need that chance. I want to know that i have that hope please."

  • Him, "I don't love you. But ... be friends???"

    Him, "If you don't. No chance."

  • Me, "1st, please don't threaten me ... and for now. sure. we can be friends, but i would still love you."

  • Him, "Just learning from you."

  • Me, "Why can't you ever remember my good days."

    Him, "Your good days was my bad days."

    Me, "Please i really need to stop the criticism."

    Me, "I know how hateful i am because of my depression to a lot of people and its hurtful for me."

    Me, "Friends for now. but i still have hope on us ... because no matte what you say, i still love you."

  • Me, "And i hope you realize one day that i care for you a lot, and i love you no matter what you say."

  • Him, "Nope."
  • Me, "I do, even if you refuse to believe me."

  • Him, "k..."

  • Me, "Now please, i really can't take more criticism at the moment. i feel really ... distressed."

    Me, "i just wanna genuinely prove to you i love you."

    Me, "Please believe me."

    Me, "Its hard on my part too, if no one ever believes me."

  • Him, "idk."

  • Me, "Look if i plead any longer you would find me annoying, so please, believe in me."

  • Him, "kkk."

Why ....
 
 
 

 

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You are very young, and you have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. People change ALL through their lives, but the time between teen and adult is often the time where most changes. Unfortunatly beeing with someone going through depression is hard, and it takes someone strong and dedicated. It sounds like this guy of yours is not that person in your life. The way he speaks to you and his general attitude isn't saying anything that makes me think you should fight for him. Even if he gives in and gives you a chance, I don't think he will be there for you in the way you deserve or need.

Have you thought through your feelings for him? Do you really love him anymore? -Him-, not the history of you together, or not beeing alone? Him, for who he is now. After so long apart, do you actually really know him anymore? It is really hard to analyze your own feelings like that, more so when everything feels like it is falling apart.

It might feel like beeing alone is worse than anything. But alone is better than beeing with someone who doesn't care for or support you. Having said that, you are -not- truly alone. You have started by reaching out here, and we are many going through depression and the like. We are here for you. 

Reach out in real life as well. It is a barrier, but talking to someone. ex: therapist, group counceling, etc (i don't know if schools there have someone as well) can help. It has helped me and many others. 

I am so sorry you don't have the proper support from your family through all of this. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me *hugs*

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I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. A lot of people don't understand how depression works - that you're not always feeling low for a specific reason, that sometimes you just cry because you're feeling emotions so intensely that you don't know what else to do. It's terrible that some people in your life are not there for you when you truly need their support, and my heart goes out to you. I know it may not seem like it, but in time you will feel better about this, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. You still have your whole life ahead of you and, at your age, you're going through a lot of changes and it can be overwhelming. I am a much different person now than I was at your age, Maluhalu is right - people do tend to change quite a bit during these years, it's usually the time when we begin to discover who we really are.

You deserve much more than how your ex boyfriend is treating you. I have no idea how some one can think it's okay to respond to a person pouring their heart out in this manner. I know you still love him but there are so many new and interesting people out there that may change your life forever, and give you the love and support that you ultimately deserve. Depression tends to get us into familiar paths of thinking, where we think things can't change for the better, but the reality is that they can and that they do. It won't be easy, but I believe you can find that brighter tomorrow and that you can find happiness again. Don't give up on yourself.

Edited by Turnt

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