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Letting people have power on how you feel?


mark88

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I hate this feeling and I can't explain it.
Im only happy when someone is interested in me. 
Those good morning texts, the good night ones. Chatting all day, being happy.
The day he texted me good morning was the first time I woke up happy, I didn't want to die that day.


And I hate that, I hate feeling like someone...anyone can have that power to make you happy but can take it away in seconds. 

Everytime I think about it, it hurts. 

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That's human nature. Humans are generally social and desire validation from other humans. However, relying on others to assuage your depression is temporary, as most relationships don't last a lifetime. In order to overcome this reliance on others, you must find satisfaction from yourself. Think about how you feel about your closest relationship. Try to feel that way about yourself. The book "Self-Compassion" by Kristin Neff may be helpful.

Edited by Hermitic
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We are social creatures so it's normal to need others in your life.  You just don't want to be too dependent on other people's input, especially every day multiple times a day.  Try to remember that people are thinking about you and have interest in you even when there isn't a text there saying so at the moment.  You are thought about even when someone doesn't take the time to give you that validation via message at the moment.

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It seems you may derive some feelings of self worth from the opinions of others. That's not unusual and it's no defect in your personality. We all do that to some extent. If you're worried about the power that gives others, then don't let others have that power over you. But for that to work, you'll need to be comfortable in who you are. And, of course, that's easier said than done.

Try to cultivate more respect for yourself. You deserve your own love. You deserve to realize what an awesome person you are and truly, seriously believe it for yourself. You're you. You're not what others think of you. And your "you" is great. I know it's hard to believe that sometimes. But it's true. 

I'm really sorry this is causing you distress. But you have value in and of yourself. Each of us has that intrinsic value. We'd all be a lot happier if we could allow ourselves to love what we are.

Peace

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Im like this to I always need to feel like people approve of me or like more or I get angry and upset. I use to get really depressed but now I get angry at people for needing there validation. If i go back to therapy that whast im go to go over. My mood depdens alot of the time if people are paying attention to me or not when there not I get depressed. i always ask people for advice, because im not sure what to do with my life growing up i use to always ask my family members if Looked good, sounded good when I spoke etc. As A adult I would ask my therpists why they think people don,t like me, if my diction sounds correct when I speak if my body languge made me dominant instead of passive etc. I always want to be in charge of things and want to be the center of attention or i get miesarble and upset around people. i try to use CBT to correct my thoughts or DBT to calm myself down. I think many people feel this way or there wouldn,t be so many people in bad relationships. Everyone will always always have the power to influence each others mood, the important thing to remember is how that power influences you and how you respond.

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Yeah, I remember that stuff with my ex. It was great and I was almost at the happiest part of my life, but I can't say I'm surprised when I learned it was too good to be true. She eventually broke up with me and I've been almost dead ever since, I just can't shrug off how dead she's made me feel, or how I made myself feel, considering I made her break up with me :/

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