Jump to content

Lost


lapaloma

Recommended Posts

I don't really know where to start. Well I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for the past 18 months. In the past month and a half all the progress I had made through the initial 18 months was washed away. I was able to live a somewhat normal life but that has changed drastically.

Now each day is an absolute struggle to get through. I wake up every morning feeling disoriented and it takes awhile for me to get my bearings. I then take my meds (Effexor and Celexa) and am able to conduct a somewhat normal life. I interact with friends, think about the future and am a very manageable mood (there are moments of feeling lost if I'm focusing too hard on something or feeling like sky and mountains are flat but these are fleeting and easy to deal with. Everything changes as soon as the sun goes down. My mood plummets with the loss of sunlight. I feel lost immediately. Have feelings of coming-to where the moments before were like me on auto-pilot. I also feel like I see darkness, like I am looking through the dark which makes everything seem dark even when I have bright lights on. I lose all sense of time and place. The past month and a half feel like its been far longer. It feels like the day never happened and I feel totally alone. I feel as if I cannot relate to another human being. I feel like there is no use reaching out because as soon as I stop talking to someone I revert to going back into my head and it feels like the conversation never happened.

I apologize if that wasn't clear, it took all my effort to get myself to sign up and write this post. I don't really know what I'm looking for with this post.... maybe a little hope.

 

Best 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I know where you are coming from when you say it feels like the conversation or the day never happened. I am suspecting you mean in the sense that you lose touch with reality and forget the details that you might have cherished in the moment? I have a tendency to do this, and it's difficult. Especially with loved ones that might feel you are being unappreciative of their time, and it truly feels out of your control.

 

You say that you are on medication. Have you spoken to your healthcare provider to see if they can either change your dosage or medication? Because it seems like a recent inability only recently. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like nothing triggered the change recently but it just sort of happened? That just leads me (an untrained, non-professional) into believing that medication could potentially be the issue. I would discuss with them and see if there is anything they can do for you.

 

I hope this all mad sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Coming here was a good idea. I know how difficult seeking help is. When first came to this forum two weeks ago, it took all my energy to sign up and make a post too. Now I feel better, and I believe this forum significantly contributed to that. There are many people here who would talkto you about your problems. The support staff is here for that purpose, and having someone to talk to helps immensely.

Don't give up. Try to find a physical friend. A human who you can hug and on whose shoulder you can cry. You can do it. Depression often suddenly lightens, and during that time you have the energy to fortify yourself against depression's return.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...