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Atron

Never want to talk to anyone ever again

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I can't deal with people anymore, I just don't know how to deal with some of them.

I live at home right now whilst completing an apprenticeship in IT. I don't have many friends and I don't want to go out, I struggle with friendships because few people share my views thus making it hard to like them. This all means I am at work or home, that's it and I'm fine with it that way.

My problems come when the people in both these places are not good to be around, work isn't so bad, we have a relaxed environment and we have general chat but for the most part in not in the office, I have to go about and deal with issues. Thing is, the people are usually stuck up and not friendly despite my efforts, many of them barely acknowledge me which isn't good for my self confidence.

Home however is worse, I have 3 brothers, 16, 14 and 7 (I am 18 btw) and they are typical kids for their age but I am very different to them, so I conflict with them constantly. My 7 yr old brother is very frustrating and I keep away from him as best I can. My mum however is my least favourite person, I would say I hate her. She always tries to come off as the victim in any situation no matter what and any blame is aimed at me. (God, this sounds typical teenager overreacting doesn't it.) She is also very controlling and even tells me how long I should spend on video games when I want a break from them, if she thinks its been too long she will drop the power (her idea of too long is about 2 hours). I am not sure about my dad, he works hard and we get on ok but only when we are away from my mum, when she is there, he can be just as bad as her which is what confuses me. If I'm honest I feel no love for any of them and not just because of some petty teenager it's how I really feel.

I don't know what I expected to achieve with this post, I just don't want to talk to people unless it is necessary, I can't deal with the bulls*** anymore, I just want to lead the life I want heck I don't even want lots of friends, all I want out of life is happiness and 1 other person to share it with, everything else is a bonus. But right now I would say my life couldn't be more miserable.

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Well, I understand not getting along with parents... many people of our age don't... I REALLY hate my father for all the things I've been through because of him. I don't really get along with my siblings either... They keep pi**ing me off over and over again

I'm kinda trying to make as many friends as posible, only because I believe it will make meeting that one person that I really want easier. I don't know what I'm trying to say here... I guess I just wanted to show you you're not alone

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Thanks both of you for commenting.

8 hours ago, Third Eye Seeker said:

I'm with you there, I rarely feel like talking to people now. Talking alone is a miserable task for me now, people just pi** me off. When will you be able to get your own place? 

 

8 hours ago, Shacke said:

Well, I understand not getting along with parents... many people of our age don't... I REALLY hate my father for all the things I've been through because of him. I don't really get along with my siblings either... They keep pi**ing me off over and over again

I'm kinda trying to make as many friends as posible, only because I believe it will make meeting that one person that I really want easier. I don't know what I'm trying to say here... I guess I just wanted to show you you're not alone

I don't know when I can move out, I have a small amount of money saved however an apprentice wage is low and would not support me so I would be left with no savings to live, I thin I could only last 8 months before running out of money.

I'm glad that there are people who understand me, I hope your relationships with family improve and you do meet your special person.

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On 6/12/2016 at 4:51 PM, Atron said:
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I can't deal with people anymore, I just don't know how to deal with some of them.

I live at home right now whilst completing an apprenticeship in IT. I don't have many friends and I don't want to go out, I struggle with friendships because few people share my views thus making it hard to like them. This all means I am at work or home, that's it and I'm fine with it that way.

My problems come when the people in both these places are not good to be around, work isn't so bad, we have a relaxed environment and we have general chat but for the most part in not in the office, I have to go about and deal with issues. Thing is, the people are usually stuck up and not friendly despite my efforts, many of them barely acknowledge me which isn't good for my self confidence.

Home however is worse, I have 3 brothers, 16, 14 and 7 (I am 18 btw) and they are typical kids for their age but I am very different to them, so I conflict with them constantly. My 7 yr old brother is very frustrating and I keep away from him as best I can. My mum however is my least favourite person, I would say I hate her. She always tries to come off as the victim in any situation no matter what and any blame is aimed at me. (God, this sounds typical teenager overreacting doesn't it.) She is also very controlling and even tells me how long I should spend on video games when I want a break from them, if she thinks its been too long she will drop the power (her idea of too long is about 2 hours). I am not sure about my dad, he works hard and we get on ok but only when we are away from my mum, when she is there, he can be just as bad as her which is what confuses me. If I'm honest I feel no love for any of them and not just because of some petty teenager it's how I really feel.

I don't know what I expected to achieve with this post, I just don't want to talk to people unless it is necessary, I can't deal with the bulls*** anymore, I just want to lead the life I want heck I don't even want lots of friends, all I want out of life is happiness and 1 other person to share it with, everything else is a bonus. But right now I would say my life couldn't be more miserable.

I am like you in many ways. At work, many of the people there are childish and my mom (who is also my boss, along with my godmother) always yells at me because “she is French.” Yeah, like French people always yell. Home is garbage, literally and figuratively speaking. I have a younger sister (16) who constantly conflicts with me and tries to write herself off as the victim. My Dad is too preoccupied with his ****ing golf that he doesn't even come to spend time with us during vacations, especially with his job as a s***ty architect. I'm not saying he shouldn't be an architect, but the fact that he's more-or-less a stay-at-home dad pi**es me off, especially since my mom tries her hardest to be recognized as the head of the household. I plan on becoming a Chemical Engineer one day or a Systems analyst or data architect because I want to have a good life. Now, I'm in my baby steps of entering my college career at a local community college in the city.

While my family are equally hated, my dad comes off as the most hated because of the pain he caused me. My mom, ironically enough, favors me the most out of the family because I am actually giving her something for father’s day to compensate for the lack of presents for mother’s day, as well as the fact that I am actually planning her vacation, but making sure I use it to my advantage. 

They’re not very aware of my hobbies, so I am frankly invisible. I don’t rack up the phone bills or electricity bills like my sister or dad does, nor do I smoke like my mom or dad. So overall, I’m not a burden…or at least, that’s what I think I’m not………………………….Anyways, like you, I wish I could have more things in life like time to read, watch anime, play video games, and do whatever I want to expand my brain. But frankly, I don’t have the time. All I can do now is wait for the next steam sale or rematch the same anime openings over and over again.

The problem is that I can't cry. Probably because society expects men to be masculine and not show emotion. Not to mention, I've gotten so used to the abuse that it's become a part of my daily life. I'm not a man.

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