Depressed, anxious and irritable

[Savanna]

It seems that I am on a downward spiral in my life.  I am recently retired and should be in a happy place.  To go back years ago, I think all this depression, feeling anxious and irritable plus constant worrying that something bad will happen to me or family or my pets began upon the death of my mother.  Since then, I simply cannot get to be genuinely happy.  The doctors have me on Wellbutrin and have prescribed Xanax to take as needed when I feel anxious.  It does help with the anxiousness but the depression still lingers.  I snap at my husband and find ways to constantly criticize and argue with him over stupid stuff.  It seems that I can't stop those mean words from coming from my mouth. 

I have been poor, well off, to back to scrimping again in retirement due to my husband's spending habits and control over the finances.  It seems that I have always been controlled in one way or the other by men during my lifetime and every time I voice my opinion or challenge anything that I think is wrong, I get blasted for being a Biotch and always told that I have to argue over everything.  So I shut down and shut up.

Is there anyone out there with any advice for me?  I would appreciate any help I could get to get a grip back on my life.  I just want to be happy and enjoy my retirement years.  PS - after my mother's death, I did go into therapy which helped me get over her death, but the depression, anxiety and anxiousness still is with me.

Thanks for any ideas to help......

[Meems15]

I don't have any advice but can relate to how you feel. 

[JD4010]

Your post's title completely described what passes for my personality these days.

[Savanna]

Glad to know I'm not alone

[La Mariposa]

I've honestly experience all of this, but have no idea how to articulate for you in order to solve the problem-- I'm still going through it myself. Sorry about that.