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I feel like giving up *triggering*

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Back in December I precancer and not to long ago I got an Kidney Stone Infection. My health is horrible right now and I seriously feel as I'm going to be dead within the next year or two. I feel it in the pit of my stomach that death is calling for me and I'm really scared and lonely. Everyone keeps telling me to relax, that there's nothing to worry about and that I'm fine. Anytime I go to the doctors I always ask, How's my ****** pressure? How's my temperature? and everything comes back fine and I stare at the floor in confusion. They listen to my lungs and smile at me, "Your lungs are perfect. Your a health girl." I'm not paranoid or anything, I just think I'm depressed by what has happened to me and the fact that I'm away from my best friend who I'm in love with and he knows it. He told me he doesn't want a serious relationship or anything like that. Than yesterday I made plans to stay a few days with him and I'm staying in the guest bedroom. In the middle of the conversation I said to him, "I don't want anyone else. All I want is you. I've even told people who like me to buzz off." and he said, "I believe you and I don't want anyone else either. It's okay. Just please don't be sad." Now is that his way of telling me that were in a relationship with me? My mother looked at me and said, "Duh!"

These thoughts keep coming and I'm so depressed but anytime I think of him I cry and feel guilty. 

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Yes he does. Now just be yourself, don't try to be the person you think he wants. If he wanted that then he would have went for that but no, he wants you not the you of five years a ago, not the you that was two dress sizes smaller. He wants you for the person you are now. Don't go crazy fast either your health is still important make sure everything health wise is doing good. Just go at what ever pace you feel comfortable with. I hope everything works out for you.

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Sounds like you have yourself a relationship to look forward to developing.  When we're really focused on our health being bad, we can worry ourselves sick and it sounds like that's part of what you are dealing with.  Focus on that relationship as the positive in your life.  You have someone that you love and they care about you back, that much is clear from your description.  I would agree with your Mom that it sounds like the start of a relationship.

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Hi BlueWeepingRose :)

Here is where mind over matter becomes an important skill to practice. The mind is extremely powerful and you need to be aware of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you keep telling yourself, "I'm sick, I'm dying, I'm unhealthy etc." that's what you'll get. 

So think of it like driving a car. Think of what destination you want. I'm assuming you want peace, happiness, health, vitality, wellness, relief etc. So keep the car steered in that direction. Things can and will get bumpy and will compel you to drive off course but just stay fixated on the positive things you want no matter storm is coming your way or is already present. Just keep saying things like "I'm well, my body is healthy, my organs are happy, everything is healing, I feel great etc. Just repeat them over and over especially when you're feeling down, weak or vulnerable.

Next thing is very powerful too. It's called the Lemonade Diet or Master Cleanse. Basically you will be drinking only lemonade and not eating food for at least 10 days. This fasting phase will allow your body to go into cleansing, repairing and healing mode. I have read many many success stories from people who have done this. I have read of people have tumors disappear, rheumatoid arthritis symptoms going away or becoming significantly better, I think cancer being dissipated as well as a lot of other things. People say they have much better energy and feel way better than ever before. I have done it myself and I notice I feel brighter and better myself.

I think this has a good chance of healing your health issues and helping you to feel better. Do some research and check it out and if you decide to do it make sure you know how to do it down to the last detail. I can help answer your questions too since I have done it before.

Use some of these tools to help improve your health and lower your stress. Stress is the cause of disease. You want to make sure it stays low as often as possible.

And regarding your guy friend yes it sounds like he's interested so just go for it.

If you ever want to chat feel free to message me :)

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